Wild Keiji Maeda
by CaliGirl94
Summary: The hilarious story of a tall blonde man named Keiji Maeda who entertains himself by playing tricks on his family and friends.
1. Chapter 1 The Prank on Sakon

Keiji Maeda loved to prank everyone. He simply enjoyed it so much that he had to do it almost on a daily basis. He had no shame at all, no matter how bad it could be. Sure he may annoy you up to the point where you would hate him, but overall that, he was a sweet and kind man at heart. He is a senior attending Ancient High School. He had six good friends named Kanetsugu Naoe, who was a true man of honor, Yukimura Sanada, who simply does not know when to give up, Mitsunari Ishida, who was very stuck up and straightforward, Sakon Shima, who was the number one valedictorian of their class, Kiyomasa Kato, who loved to show off his biceps, and Masanori Fukushima, who was the second most annoying one of his friends, besides Keiji. Keiji thought about how whenever he and his friends got high, Kanetsugu would never join them.

He is such a good guy, Keiji thought to himself, as he sat looking up at the ceiling in the middle of English class. He needs to be bad for once! Just then, he formed a huge smile.

"That's right!" laughed the teacher, Mrs. No. "That's exactly how the monk smiled at the girl!"

Keiji stopped smiling, blinked a couple times, and looked around, as his fellow classmates laughed at him. He was completely lost.

"Eh?" he said, confusingly.

"Ten extra bonus points for you, Keiji!" said Mrs. No, as she walked to her computer. Happiness spread throughout Keiji's body.

"Oh boy! I love extra bonus points!" he shouted excitedly, although he didn't understand why the teacher gave him bonus points. The bonus points could sure help boost his D into a C. Well, whatever the reason was, it didn't matter. All that mattered to Keiji was that he was getting extra points. Pretty soon, the bell rang.

At lunch, he decided to walk to Save Mart alone. He felt like pranking someone today. He had already pranked his buddies, Yukimura, Kiyomasa, Mitsunari, Masanori, and Kanetsugu. The last one remaining was Sakon.

How he is such a nerd, he thought, laughing evily in his mind. Because Sakon had a big fat crush on Ina, Keiji wanted to do something to make Sakon think that she had a crush on him too, even though she disliked Sakon for his flirtatiousness. This'll be so funny! He bought twenty balloons, a chocolate cake, and a giant teddy bear. After that, he snuck back on campus. He went through the second front because his friends hung out at the first front and he didn't want his friends to see him or the fun will quickly be over. Before that, he quickly hid in the parking lot behind a red car. He poked his head out to look at the first front where he saw his friends Yukimura and Kiyomasa arm wrestling.

"Tahahahah!" he laughed quietly, under his breath. He couldn't wait to see the look on Sakon's face. Then he quickly went to the second front and made his way into the SBO. After that, his excuse for not being with them at the beginning of lunch was that he had to make up a test for history class. They believed him.

During 7th period, he turned to Sakon. He wanted to laugh so bad that he smiled instead. He tried hard not to smile but he just couldn't help it so he put his head down so nobody would know that he was up to no good.

Suddenly the door swung open. Keiji started to turn to see who it was. He was always the first to turn his head but today, it seemed like a girl in his class named Oichi was going to beat him. He quickly flinched as his eyes grew wide and his mouth made a circle.

No one shall ever beat me at looking at the door and seeing who comes in! He thought to himself as the whole scene played in slow motion. The door was all the way to the left.

He rolled his eyes to the very right side of the room to see who he was going to compete with. He saw Motochika chewing gum very slowly, as a piece of spit came out. His blue hair waved gently like a feather. Then Keiji turned a little more to the left. He saw Musashi sneeze, as he shut his eyes tightly. His nose was as big as a pig's and his teeth grinded together tightly and his germs flew smoothly in the air. His eyes were still shut tight for many seconds. Then Keiji moved his eyes more to the left where he saw Masamune staring back at him right in the eye. Suddenly, Masamune's eyes jerked one percent more to the left.

Oh hell no! Keiji screamed in his mind. He turned his eye three percent more to the left. Beat that Masamune!

Now his eyes were fixed on the teacher's face, where she slowly blinked with her eyes closed for a long time with her mouth opening. Her teeth's were so clean white with a tiny piece of black pepper on the left side of her bunny tooth. Keiji laughed so hard in his mind and he finally noticed that the whole world was silent. He turned again and saw Magoichi's perverted face slowly lifting up. He turned again and saw Yukimura's mouth closing in such a slow motion with a piece of hot Cheetos in his mouth. When he chewed it, it made such a loud, thunderous sound.

Again, he turned to the left a little bit more. He saw Kunoichi's pencil dropping down so slowly, as she made a face like she needed to poop. She slowly knelt down as it took forever to reach her pencil.

Keiji turned five percent more again and saw Kiyomasa writing so slowly. Kiyomasa's lead broke off his pencil as it made a sound like someone just got punched hardly. Kiyomasa's face slowly went from having a normal face into having an annoyed and irritated look. Keiji laughed so hard in his mind again.

He turned two percent more and saw Nene's head slowly falling forward as she kinda fell asleep. Her head took forever to collide with her desk and when it did, her head bounced back up slowly like a ball. Her eye slowly opened as it was super red.

It took five seconds for Keiji to open his mouth and laugh, but no sound came out when he did so. He finally thought to himself, What is happening to the world! Why is it in such a slow motion?

He turned again. He wanted to look at the door to see who it was already, but slow motion was causing everything to be so slow. He saw Oichi's eyes and it was so freaken close to reaching the door.

Before he knew it, he picked up his basketball as it took ten seconds to bend down and pick it up. This time, Oichi's eyes were ABOUT to reach the door.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he managed to shout out loud, as he threw the ball towards her. It flew so slow and smoothly that it looked like a flying balloon for a second. It took seven seconds for the ball to finally reach her head.

BAAAAAAANNNGGG, went the sound, as everything went back into its original motion.

"Owww!" she cried, as her head bobbed down and her eyes were no longer facing towards the door. Keiji quickly turned and-YES! He was the very first one to look at who it was that came into their class. It was only Principal Takeda. "What the heck, Keiji! Why'd you do that for? It freaken hurted!"

Keiji laughed out loud. "Sorr-Ey! I only did that cause I wanted to be the first to see who was coming in!" he told her as he laughed again. "Sorry though, Miss Oichi."

"Hmph!" she mumbled, as she crossed her arm and turned away.

"Keiji!" said Kanetsugu, "Such a bad behavior! You do not throw balls at anyone!"

Keiji laughed more. "Of course not. How could I when my balls are stuck tight in between my legs?" he said and dropped onto the floor, laughing at his friend's comment.

"Keiji, you will serve two hours of community service tomorrow afterschool for this type of behavior," said Principle Takeda. He was serious.

Tomorrow? He thought.

"But tomorrow's Friday," he said, remembering that he was supposed to go to the mall with one of his chick friend, Kaihime. In fact, he promised her. "I'm supposed to go to the mall with my friend."

"Exactly," replied Principle Takeda. "Nevertheless, but you will not be going anywhere tomorrow afterschool, for if you do, you shall be serving ten hours of community service. Which is better, two hours or ten hours?"

Keiji thought to himself that Kai was going to be so mad at him now but having to serve two hours of community service was better than serving ten hours of community service. He sighed. "Two hours."

"Good. I thought so. You will report to my office tomorrow afterschool. Is that understood?" questioned Principle Takeda.

"Yeah, whatever you say, Principle Takeda," he responded, getting up. So much for throwing the ball at Oichi but oh well. It was totally worth it because after all, he was the first to see who came in the class once again.

Principle Takeda and Keiji were close, even though sometimes Principle Takeda may be hard on him. Keiji is one of the very few kids who often got sent to see the principal once every two weeks. Yup, that's how troubled Keiji was.

As Principle Takeda talked to Mrs. Okuni, the door opened again, but good thing Keiji was already looking at the door. In came a man with the giant teddy bear along with the twenty balloons and the cake that Keiji had bought earlier.

To make this situation seem unobvious, Keiji did the thing he would normally do when someone got balloons.

"Oh boy! I wonder who's birthday it is this time!" he shouted. He almost laughed. After the man gave the balloon to Mrs. Okuni, she smiled.

"Sakon, how come you didn't tell us it was your birthday?" she asked, walking to Sakon to give him the balloon.

Sakon had such a confused look. "What are you talking about? It's not even my birthday!"

Keiji almost laughed as Sakon took the balloons.

"Who's it from?" asked Yukimura.

"Iiiiiiit's frooooooom….," he began, while looking at the piece of paper to see who it was from. He quickly flinched. "Oh shit! It's from Ina!"

"What?" replied Yukimura. He was confused. "But she…But she…hates you!"

"Hey guys! Kiyomasa! Keiji! Dude! I got balloons, a teddy bear, and a cake from Ina even though it's not even my birthday!" Sakon shouted, smiling with joy.

Mitsunari turned with an annoyed look. "Why on Earth would she buy you balloons? You're such a b-i-t-c-h."

"Why wouldn't she?" Sakon replied. "I just knew that somehow she would find it in her heart to accept me one way or another." He was so obsessed with the balloons that "Ina" had bought him.

"Wow Sakon, you must really mean something to her," Keiji said to him. On the inside, he laughed and laughed, especially when he got home.

The next day, Friday, Keiji stayed after school to pick up trash for community service. He turned and saw Oichi coming towards his way.

"Hey Oichi," he began, winking at her for fun.

Just then, Nagamasa popped out of nowhere and hugged Oichi. He turned to Keiji and gave him an attitude. He laughed on the inside and thought to himself that he wasn't even interested in Oichi. He was only into hot babes like Kaihime. Then he sighed as two hours quickly passed.


	2. Chapter 2 Call Of Duty Black Ops

It was finally time for him to go home. As he waited for his mother to come and pick him up, Sakon came out of nowhere and smacked him on the back of his head. He rolled his eyes to Sakon.

"Hey! What Up, Dawg?" he said, as they did their hand shake.

"Sup," replied Sakon. "You finally done serving community service?"

"Tch, yeah," he responded, laughing. They talked until his mom came to pick him up. Keiji asked Sakon if he wanted to hang out at his house. Sakon agreed so they went off to Keiji's house. In a while, they played Call of Duty Black Ops. They called their friends to go online so they can play team death match. Here are the following teams:

**Team 1**

**MegaSoldier-Keiji **

**MegaSoldier(2)-Sakon **

**SanadaWarrior-Yukimura **

**KatoSan-Kiyomasa **

**YourDreamBoy-Mitsunari **

**DestinyWillGuideYou-Kanetsugu**

**Team 2**

**MizzKai-Kaihime**

**YourMama-Masanori**

**OneAndOnlyGreatest-Musashi**

**GuitarHero-Motochika**

**WorldsBestHero-Toshiie**

The game was just about to begin when suddenly Ina was brought into the game. She was on team 2. The match was now even. In this game, you can hear everyone talk.

**Team 1**

**MegaSoldier-Keiji **

**MegaSoldier(2)-Sakon **

**SanadaWarrior-Yukimura **

**KatoSan-Kiyomasa **

**YourDreamBoy-Mitsunari **

**DestinyWillGuideYou-Kanetsugu**

**Team 2**

**MizzKai-Kaihime**

**YourMama-Masanori**

**OneAndOnlyGreatest-Musashi**

**GuitarHero-Motochika**

**WorldsBestHero-Toshiie**

**Inahime-Ina**

Sakon jumped up with joy. "Oh Shit! It's Ina," he shouted, laughing. "I'll chase her! Hahahah!"

Keiji hekka laughed on the microphone as the game was loading now.

"Keiji shut the fuck up," said Mitsunari over the microphone. "For God's sake, you fucken laugh so loud!"

"No!" he replied, laughing twice as loud now. He simply enjoyed how Mitsunari got mad.

Sakon licked his lips and formed a half smile. "Hey Ina," he began, talking on the microphone to her. "You like to play games too?"

"Be quiet, Sakon," she replied. "Just leave me alone."

"Ouch," said Motochika, snickering through the microphone. "That must've hurt."

"Hey," replied Sakon again, "There's really nothing wrong with liking to play games. I mean, I think it's pretty hot when you see a cute chick playing video games, especially when her name is Ina. And Motochika, stay out of this."

"Eww, whatever Sakon!" she yelled.

The game finally started.

"Ey, Sanada, Katosan, Fox, Honor, Sakon, we got this," Keiji said to his teammates as he made his character run super-fast.

"Hey Ina, how about you and I go meet up…somewhere a little personal on the battlefield?" Sakon said, chuckling, as he made his way to the enemy field. There were gunshots all over the place.

"Sakon, will you ever leave me alone?" she replied, with an irritated voice.

**Game History**

**MegaSoldier has killed MizzKai.**

**MegaSoldier has killed YourMama.**

**MegaSoldier has killed GuitarHero.**

**OneAndOnlyGreatest has killed MegaSoldier.**

**KatoSan has killed WorldsBestHero.**

"No, because I have hope and honor within me and I believe that you too will someday develop feelings for me," Sakon replied, laughing.

"Aww, dang it, Musashi!" Keiji shouted, laughing, "You broke my three kill streak!"

Musashi laughed.

"Quit dreaming, Sakon!" Ina shouted. "That'll never happen!"

"Of course it will," Sakon replied. "You wanna know why?"

"No, I don't, so you better separate fantasy from reality because I would never like such a disgusting boy like you, Sakon!" she shrieked. Everyone laughed.

"Yes you will," he replied, trying to flirt with her. "Even if you wanted to know or not, I'll tell you anyways."

"No!" she yelled.

"Because….," he began.

"NOOO! I don't want to know!" she yelled, again.

"Because Ina LOVES Sakon! That's why!" he shouted, proudly.

**Game History**

**SanadaWarrior has killed YourMama.**

**Inahime has killed KatoSan.**

**Inahime has killed SanadaWarrior.**

**YourDreamBoy has killed OneAndOnlyGreatest.**

**GuitarHero has killed MegaSoldier.**

**MegaSoldier(2) has killed MizzKai.**

**Inahime has killed DestinyWillGuideYou.**

Everyone hekka laughed and "OOOED" Ina.

"Pshh! Whatever!" she said.

"I see, you're getting all fired up, Ina," complimented Sakon. "I like that."

"Stop talking to me, you a-hole!" she replied.

Sakon laughed, "You're so cute when you cuss, you know that, Ina? In other words, you're so adorable when you get mad." She ignored him.

As Keiji ran through the jungle, he saw WorldsBestHero aiming a gun at someone. He quickly shot him before he got the chance to make a kill.

"Hahahah!" Keiji laughed, jumping all around the battlefield, as someone shot him. "Aww, who the heck killed me?" he shouted. He saw that it was Ina. Suddenly, he had an idea. He quickly took off the microphone and whispered a few words to Sakon. They laughed hideously and put the microphone back on.

"Hey Ina," Sakon began.

"Not. Again," she replied. "What part of 'leave me alone' do you not understand?"

"Let's make a bet," he said. His bet was that if he killed her first, she would have to go on a date with him or if he got killed first, he would have to go on a date with her.

"So either way, we go on a date?" she asked, thoughtfully. Her tone suddenly changed. "No way in the name of Mother Teresa, Sakon! I don't think so!"

"Oh, come on!" he said, trying to persuade her.

"No," she said. "I will only bet if you promise to leave me alone forever if I kill you first," she replied.

"Do it! Do it!" Keiji whispered, laughing. "Even if you do lose, who says you really have to leave her alone?"

Sakon thought for a second. He told Keiji that his idea was a great idea. "Hmmm..Okay, Ina. It's on. I lose, I stop bothering you. I win, then you go on a date with me. Alright?" he said.

"Oh, it is so on!" she shouted. Then Sakon and Ina began looking for each other. Keiji laughed and laughed. Once again, Mitsunari told him to shut up.

_Oh, how my ideas tend to amuse me so much_, Keiji thought to himself.

As Sakon ran across the jungle, there were a few guns shooting after him, but it kept missing. He turned and it was Ina that was trying to shoot him. He smiled, as he started to run away so she could chase him.

"Quit running away!" she screamed. Sakon enjoyed the chase so much.

"Man, Ina! Why can't you ever go after me like this in real life? It's so freaken amazing!" he shouted.

"You perverted dumbass," commented Mitsunari. "It's because you're like this that she shows no interest in you. Just watch. You're going to lose."

Sakon laughed more. After two whole minutes of chasing him, Ina finally gave up.

"Not chasing you anymore!" she shouted, as she started to turn and run the opposite way.

"Now's your chance!" Keiji whispered. "The one and only moment you've been waiting for!"

Sakon quickly ran after Ina and threw a grenade at her. It exploded but she didn't die yet.

"Damn it!" he shouted. He ran and caught up to her. She tried to knife him but he quickly moved away and shot her. She finally died as the game was over. "Oh yeah! I just won a date!" he shouted, happily. "In your face, Mitsunari!"

"Whatever," Mitsunari said. "Ina, you don't even have to go on a date with him. He can't make you."

"But I won fair and square!" Sakon objected. "Now where's a good place for a date? Any ideas?"

**Game Results (# of kills, # of deaths)**

**Team 1**

**MegaSoldier-Keiji (20 kills, 9 deaths)**

**MegaSoldier(2)-Sakon ( 11 kills, 8 deaths)**

**SanadaWarrior-Yukimura (14 kills, 10 deaths)**

**KatoSan-Kiyomasa (17 kills, 11 deaths)**

**YourDreamBoy-Mitsunari ( 8 kills, 13 deaths)**

**DestinyWillGuideYou-Kanetsugu (5 kills, 11 deaths)**

**Team 2**

**MizzKai-Kaihime (0 kills, 22 deaths)**

**YourMama-Masanori (10 kills, 14 deaths)**

**OneAndOnlyGreatest-Musashi (22 kills, 8 deaths)**

**GuitarHero-Motochika (12 kills, 10 deaths)**

**WorldsBestHero-Toshiie (11 kills, 10 deaths)**

**Inahime-Ina (7 kills, 11 deaths)**

"Hahaha, Kaihime, you fucken suck!" Keiji said, laughing. He loved to go against her because she hated that game and she could never make a kill. She told him to shut up.

"To the movies and then dinner," Kiyomasa answered Sakon. They laughed.

"You hear that, Ina?" Sakon said to her. "Let's go to the movies and then eat out after that."

"You can get your mind off that fantasy date because I, Ina, will not be going anywhere with you," Ina said. "I'm leaving the lobby now."

"No! Wait! Don't go yet, Ina!" he shouted, but it was too late. She had just exit the lobby. Mitsunari laughed at him. Then Sakon thought for a bit. "She'll go," he said, "She'll go."


	3. Chapter 3 Keiji's Uncle

On Saturday morning, Keiji's uncle came to visit his family. He drove his car into the parking lot, as Keiji made his way outside to go and greet him. Keiji secretly thought to himself that if he knew about the visit ahead of time, he would've planned a great surprise for his uncle.

"Hello uncle!" Keiji shouted, walking towards his uncle's red car. "How've you been?"

"Hello Keiji," said his uncle. "I've been good. What about you?"

"I've been really good!" Keiji snapped back, shaking his uncle's hand. "Shall I help you bring your stuffs inside?"

"Sure," replied his uncle, as he opened the back trunk. Keiji helped carry his suitcase and his laptop inside the house. In the kitchen, Keiji's mother made several dishes: bread, spaghetti, and salad. It smelled so good in the house.

"Mom's cooking dinner," Keiji said to his uncle. He turned the TV on and there was a football show going on. "So, what do you want to do, uncle?"

"Hmmm…," thought his uncle. "I think I want to take a nice, warm bath."

"Okay," Keiji responded. He quickly thought of an idea. He laughed so hard in his head. As he guided his uncle into the guest room, he quickly ran downstairs. He went into the garage and opened the garage door so his mother wouldn't know what he was up to. Then he opened the freezer and started digging for a bag of ice. Well, actually, two of them. He quietly snuck into the front yard, tiptoeing to make sure that no one saw him or the joy will be over. He was pretty sure that no one saw him.

"Keiji! What are you doing?" said a familiar voice. It was a girl named Nene from school. She lived across the street from Keiji and they had known each other since preschool. She had a little white Pomeranian puppy beside her. She got it from her aunt who was a fashion designer in London.

Keiji flinched as his eyes approached her. He quickly thought of an idea. "Uh, nothing. Just carrying these two bags of ice inside," he said, chuckling, and scratching his head. "It's nothing big. Really."

Nene gave him a suspicious look. "Are you up to no good again, Keiji?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"NO!" he shouted. "That's not it. You see, I have to get ice for my mom because she's making thai tea with boba drinks."

"Are you sure?" she asked again.

"Yeah," he replied. Then the funny part came into his mind. "Hey Nene, I think you should go to the bathroom."

"Why?" she questioned.

"Cause I think you're on your period," he said, trying hard not to smile. "And I'm serious."

"You liar!" she exclaimed, as Keiji nodded his head yes.

"Don't believe me then," he told her. "Don't be blaming me if you embarrass yourself around the neighborhood. It's pure red and I think it's starting to turn brown now."

"Ew, Keiji! Don't you dare lie to me!" she shouted, covering her butt. Then she quickly picked up her puppy and ran home across the street.

Whew, he thought. That was close! Then he quickly went inside the house and ran upstairs. His uncle still wasn't out of the room yet. Yes, he thought again. He walked to the nearest bathroom and went in. He poured the ice all over the tub and laughed so much, in a quiet way though. Then he started the water and made sure that it was super cold. Pretty soon, the tub filled up. He quickly went to the room that his uncle was in.

"Hey uncle," he started, "The waters ready so you can take your bath now. Sorry for the long wait though."

"Oh okay," replied his uncle. "Thank you so much Keiji. After we eat, I'll take you to go buy a new pair of shoe."

Oh boy! I love new shoes! He thought.

"Okay," he replied. Then, an even better idea popped into his mind. Before he knew it, he ran back into the bathroom and hid under the sink. He could fit under the sink because it was so big. He also had a camera in his pocket and he put it on video mode. He snickered a couple times before his uncle came in.

He did not wait long until his uncle came into the bathroom. Keiji smiled and spied on his uncle. His uncle first undressed himself and was butt naked. He went to pee first, without noticing the ice in the tub.

"Oh, say can you see? By the dawn's early light?" sang his uncle, as Keiji smiled so big. He hekka laughed on the inside but forced himself not to make a noise. "What's so proudly we hailed…"

Keiji continued to laugh on the inside. After his uncle peed, he flushed the toilet and started to sing a different song.

"Every night, in my dreams, I see you…I feel you…That is how I know you go on…," he sang, swinging his towel around the curtains. "Near…Far…Wherever you are…I believe that my heart will….go on…"

Then he grabbed his razor, his shampoo, his conditioner, and his soap . "Once…more… you opened the door," he sang, as he put one foot into the tub. It was so cold that Keiji's uncle flinched so hard and slipped into the tub. He started freezing like crazy!

Keiji couldn't take it anymore. He bursted out laughing, as his uncle screamed and screamed. Then Keiji popped out from under the sink.

"Hahahahahhahhahahhaha!" laughed Keiji. He laughed so hard that he fell to the ground. "Who were you singing to? Hahahahahahah!"

"Keiji! Why are you in here?" yelled his uncle, grabbing his towel to cover himself, as Keiji continued to laugh. He kept thinking about his uncle singing and pissing and then singing again and falling into the tub. It was just too funny!

"Uncle! I'm going to-" he said, as he couldn't talk, due to laughter. "I'm gonna pass out! Hahahahahahah!" He had burned many calories and many tears came out of his eyes. He was having such a good time. His uncle quickly shook his head at him and left the bathroom. Before Keiji knew it, everything went pitch black. He had passed out, just like he said.

He did not know how long he had passed out, but when he woke up, the first thing he thought of was getting a new pair of shoe. He saw his uncle washing the dishes. Then Keiji remembered what happened about the bathroom incident. He started to laugh again, as his stomach hurt so much. He couldn't even laugh right now. Then he heard his uncle Toshiie talking to his other uncle. Keiji's dad, his uncle, and Toshiie are all brothers.

Keiji suddenly jumped up as Toshiie shrieked out loud. "Keiji! Why'd you do that for?"

"Oh, Toshiie, how I was only happy to see you!" Keiji yelled back. He walked to them.

"No, not that!" said Toshiie. "Why'd you fill the bathtub with ice? Huh? Don't mess with my big brother," he said, as he playfully shoved Keiji.

"It was so fun though!" Keiji told him. "He even sang too!"

"When are you gonna grow up, huh? When are you gonna start acting like a man?" Toshiie playfully asked him.

Keiji thought for a second. "Well, to be honest, I think I'm perfectly normal and it's just everybody else that's wrong in the head. When are you going to grow up?" he replied, laughing. He and Toshiie pretended to fight for a bit until the shoe shopping popped into Keiji's mind again. "Hey uncle," he began, as his uncle turned to him. "So um..I was wondering..Are we still going shoe shopping?"

His uncle sigh. "As soon as you apologize, Keiji. As soon as you apologize."

"I'm so sorry uncle!" Keiji exclaimed, giving his uncle a hug. "I promise you that I would never do that again. I only did it cause I missed you truly. Now can we go shoe shopping?"

Toshiie and Keiji's uncle looked at each other and laughed.

"You just wanna get new shoes, you bastard," Toshiie said, laughing. "Watch, I bet after you get new shoes, you're going to start pranking him again. Am I right?"

"Wrong. But I'll prank you if you don't shut up," he replied, laughing. In a bit, they headed to the mall.

It was so crowded inside. They couldn't even imagine how lucky they were to get a parking spot up close to the mall. They walked into a store called "Fresh Kicks".

"Hmm..I wonder if Kanetsugu's working today!" Keiji shouted, looking around the store. His friend, Kanetsugu, was the only one in his group of friends that was literally employed. He worked in the store that they went to. Mitsunari's family owned a restaurant downtown and sometimes, Mitsunari would help manage it.

Keiji walked deeper into the store, as a shiny red and black air Jordan caught his eye. Then a familiar voice called his name.

"Hey Keiji," said Kanetsugu, walking towards him. He wore a white t-shirt with a pair of skinny jean with a baby blue checkered belt that matched his Nike. He also wore his name tag. The store's uniform was a plain white t-shirt, a skinny jean, and a shoe brand of either Jordan's, Nikes, Vans, or Adidas.

"Sup," Keiji replied, as they did their hand shake. "How long have you been workin?"

Kanetsugu told him that he had been working since 12:00 pm and will be out at 6:00 pm. Keiji looked at his watch and it was 4:38 pm. Just then, Keiji remembered that Kanetsugu was getting paid today. In fact, he got paid every Saturday, including the Saturday that he worked. Happiness ran through Keiji's body as he smiled at his friend.

"Hey, buddy," he began. "It's already 4:38 pm and I haven't eaten anything today yet. And you're one of my best friends too, you know that?"

Kanetsugu looked at his friend, already knowing what he was planning. "I'm sure I am," he replied sarcastically, as Keiji gave him a big smile. "I'm only one of your best friends because I always buy you food and I lend you money. And because I let you borrow my car and I let you copy my homework, huh?" he said, playfully.

"How'd you know?" Keiji replied, laughing. Almost everytime when Kanetsugu got paid, Keiji would bother him to take him to buy something good to eat. Sometimes he even borrowed his money. As he thought of where they should go eat out, he remembered that he had to owe a guy from their school named Masamune Date eight dollars for losing a bet.

"Oh I know," Kanetsugu replied, "Well I'm going to go now before I get in trouble."

"Wait!" Keiji exclaimed, grabbing his friend's arm. He told him about having to owe money for Masamune. And he also pleaded him for money.

Kanetsugu gave him that annoyed look. "Dude, speaking of money, you owe me like ninety five dollars."

Keiji laughed, "Oh…you know…How I just love you! Hahahah!"

Kanetsugu shook his head, walked off, and said, "I'll see you later." Keiji then examined the shoe earlier.

"Hey uncle," he began, as he looked for his two uncles. "What do you think of this kick?"

They both turned.

"It's nice," they replied. Toshiie said that it looked cool. Keiji heard Kanetsugu talking to his boss. In a bit, Kanetsugu carried a big box towards them.

"Pssst. Kanestsugu," said Keiji, as Kanetsugu walked, turning to him.

"What," he replied. Keiji asked him to get size fifteen for him. Keiji had a long foot because he was very tall. He was 6'5. The Maeda's were known to be very tall and they had a dominant gene that made them all tall. Well, at least nine out of ten were tall.

Kanetsugu obeyed and walked to the back room, where all the extra sizes of shoes were. In a minute, he came back out and gave the shoe to Keiji. Keiji tried it on and it fit him perfectly.

"Hey uncle, this one's a killa!" he shouted happily. "I think I want this one!" And so, his uncle bought it for him. It cost his uncle $200. It was nothing compared to how much his uncle made though. His uncle is a 28 year old pharmacist who lived a couple hours away from them. He was on his three week paid vacation; that's why he came to visit them. He wasn't even married yet but he had a girlfriend.

After shopping around at a few more stores, they went to go eat out at a buffet called Osaka Buffet. After that, they finally went home. Kanetsugu couldn't treat Keiji today because he had to go run some errands for his mom. As for the two uncles, they stayed at Keiji's house. They played a few rounds of Call of Duty Black Ops, the zombie game, on Kino Der Toten. On their last game, they got to level 29. It was now 11:45 pm as they all went to shower.

Keiji was the first one out of the shower. He was digging through some drawers in the living room when he found a praying doll. A big smile formed on his face…..

"Goodnight, uncle," Keiji said to his older uncle, as he walked to the room where Toshiie was going to sleep in. "And an especially goodnight to you, my dear Toshiie!"

"Goodnight," Toshiie replied, as Keiji turned off the light and closed the door. Keiji secretly put his ear against the door. He could hear Toshiie climbing on the bed, getting comfortable. Just then, the praying doll started praying as Toshiie screamed. Keiji opened the door, turned the lights back on, and laughed his butt off. Toshiie looked all around the room, as he lifted the pillow that he layed his head on. He saw the praying doll.

"Stupid Keiji! What the hell was that for?" Toshiie shouted, throwing the doll at Keiji. Keiji just kept laughing and said that he did it because he thought it would be so funny, which it was. His older uncle came out of the room and shook his head at Keiji. Keiji waved hi to him and smiled.


	4. Chapter 4 Mini Argument and Dreams

On Monday, Keiji and his group of friends went to Uesugi's Boba Café for lunch. Not that many people were there that day. Kanetsugu had promised them on Sunday that he would treat them and he did so. Keiji sipped on his mint chocolate slush. Yukimura stared off into the bright, colorful ceiling, taking a bite of his popcorn chicken. Kiyomasa finished the last of his coconut boba drink. Mitsunari ate meatballs on a stick with sweet and sour sauce. Masanori ate some French fries and a hot dog. Kanetsugu drank his Thai tea slush politely, and Sakon slurped on his vanilla slush, making a loud noise to purposely annoy Mitsunari because it was so fun to get him mad.

"Quit that, you nastyass!" shouted Mitsunari, making a disgusted face, "It's disgusting." They all laughed except for Mitsunari and Kanetsugu.

"Sakon!" shouted Kanetsugu, "Have you no shame?"

"Real people have no shame!" exclaimed Keiji, as he ate some of Yukimura's popcorn chicken.

"Yeah, like what Keiji said!" replied Sakon. He couldn't help but watch that annoyed face of Mitsunari's grow furious. Then Sakon brought Ina up.

"We still need our date," said Sakon, laughing. "I'll remind her whenever I see her."

"Bitch, you don't stand a chance," said Mitsunari, rolling his eyes.

"I do, homie," Sakon replied, turning to Mitsunari. "Don't be jealous, because it's still an honor to be the second valedictorian of our class."

Mitsunari grew furious again. "What did you just say to me?"

"In case you didn't understand, what I was trying to say was that-" he started again, but was interrupted by Mitsunari.

"You think I'm jealous because you're the number one valedictorian and I'm number two?"

"Yup. Not only that but I'm always one step ahead of you, so you don't have to hate me for that. And I know more than you do too, so don't be telling me that I don't stand a chance with Ina," taunted Sakon.

Keiji laughed. "Damn, are you going to let Sakon say that to you?"

"Yeah, are you just going to let him!" shouted Masanori.

"Please. To even think that I would envy you will never even happen in any dreams, Sakon, you cowardly dog," replied Mitsunari. "I am not even jealous of you. I mean, look at that hairy face of yours. What's there to be jealous about?"

Everyone laughed so hard, including Sakon, but Kanetsugu did not laugh. In fact, Sakon gave Mitsunari a round of applaud for that.

"Very well said, Foxy," Sakon replied, smiling. "Well at least everyone can tell that I'm a guy."

They all laughed again, except for Mitsunari and Kanetsugu. Then Keiji thought to himself, _oh, how I just enjoy watching them argue!_

Mitsunari stood up, getting ready to do some karate-chopping that he learned from a student named Ranmaru Mori. Kanetsugu got up and stopped him.

"How immature of you, you, you, you, and you to be laughing!" Kanetsugu exclaimed to all of them, except for Mitsunari. "It is not very honorable!"

Keiji laughed even more and thought to himself, _how Kanetsugu is such an honor boy!_

When they all finally finished their drink and food, they only had ten minutes to get back to class. Yukimura, Masanori, and Kiyomasa had Geometry class together. Sakon and Mitsunari had AP Calculus together. In fact, all their classes were AP classes, except for their Martial Arts Class and their Haiku Class, which they all had together 4th and 7th period. Kanetsugu had debate class and Keiji had culinary arts.

As Keiji made his way to class, he saw his friend, Kaihime Narita. He though he'd surprise her on the way to class since they had class together. He ran and caught up to her. He thought to himself that her head got bigger and bigger every time he saw her. He smacked her head.

"Owww," she screamed, as she turned to him, "Why'd you do that for, stupid?"

She smacked Keiji back as he laughed. Oh how he just loved to smack her head. It was so much fun and he never got tired of it. He saw that she wore booty shorts. He always called her a skank every time she wore hoochie clothes.

"Because it's fun, you Skank!" he shouted, laughing, as Kaihime rolled her eyes.

In their culinary class, the students were split up into groups of four. In Keiji's group, there was Kaihime, Kunoichi, and Ranmaru. It was cool because on their tables, there were four stoves and two ovens on the two sides of the table. Today, they were going to bake three cupcakes each. The teacher lectured first, which Keiji did not pay any attention to, and then they finally got started.

"Neat!" shouted Keiji, as he grabbed three eggs. Kaihime snatched one egg away from him.

"We only need two eggs each, stupid!" she yelled. "Weren't you listening?"

"Oh shit! For reals?" he laughed. Then they got all the ingredients together and baked their cupcake. As Keiji waited, he looked around the room. He turned to Ranmaru and winked at him. Then he gave out his perverted smile.

"I will use my hand," said Ranmaru, making the karate chop sign.

"You should," said Kaihime, laughing. "And you look so ugly doing that, Keiji!"

"I know, right?" Keiji responded, cracking up…

On Tuesday, Keiji was so tired, that the day went by extra slow. He was sure quiet that day, and when he finally got home, the first thing he did was jump onto his bed and fell asleep. He was deep asleep in his dream. All of a sudden, he was in his English class. For some reason, he was the T.A.

"Thou shut up, Yukimura," said Kiyomasa, sitting in his desk. Today, they were learning about Shakespeare's words.

"Art thou stupid or what?" replied Yukimura, as he got up and started leaving.

"Whither goest thou, young rogue? Can there yet remain some villainy thou hast not committed?" shouted Masanori.

Yukimura turned to him, "Thou dost wrong me! Faith I know not where I wander. Methinks the most capricious zephyr hath more design than I. But Lo: do not detain me, for I am resolved to quit this place forthwith."

"Ay, but hear you this, I'll soon know thy business. Get thee gone, wastrel!" Masanori replied.

"By my troth, I am off," said Yukimura, as he left the class. He sounded pissed off so Keiji went after him, following him all the way to the bathroom.

"Dude," Keiji began, as he saw tears forming in Yukimura's eyes. He put one hand on his shoulders. "Are you okay?"

"Give me leave!" Yukimura shouted, as tears came down his cheeks. Keiji thought to himself that this was so weird. He came to conclude that he was only dreaming because Yukimura, Kiyomasa, and Masanori hated speaking Elizabethan English.

He finally woke up laughing to himself. He thought, _man! Why couldn't I have laughed in the dream? It was so funny to hear them talk like that! _After he thought that thought, he closed his eyes for a few minutes and off he was in a Jacuzzi filled with ladies in bikinis. Then he farted in the Jacuzzi, as he woke up laughing his ass off again, realizing that he really did fart.


	5. Chapter 5 How Sakon Found Out

The next day, Keiji rushed to school. He power walked and got to school in fifteen minutes. Usually, it would take about thirty minutes to get there. He went to the spot where he and his friends hung out at. When he first saw Kanetsugu, he ran super-fast to him and grabbed him. All his friends were already there. He couldn't wait to tell them the news.

"Keiji!" shouted Kanetsugu, flinching. "What was that for?"

"Oh my gosh! You guys wanna know something?" he said to them.

"What! What! I wanna know!" exclaimed Yukimura. He loved to hear secrets and was always curious about what people have to say.

"Yesterday night…I…" he began, almost laughing, but managed to have a serious face.

"You what?" asked Kiyomasa, as Keiji stood still, quietly. They all looked at each other.

"You jacked off?" laughed Masanori, as the rest joined him in his laugh, except for Keiji and Kanetsugu. Then Keiji looked down.

"What's wrong?" asked Sakon. Keiji looked as though he wanted to cry. His eyes were very teary.

"Come closer," Keiji whispered to them, as they all gathered around him closely. "I don't want anyone else to hear." It was quiet for five seconds. Suddenly, Keiji farted very loud, BURRR, and bursted out laughing so hard. Yukimura flinched and ran all the way to the bathroom nonstop. Kiyomasa moved away from Keiji and started laughing.

"UGHHH!" shouted Mitsunari. "Couldn't you have gone and took care of that business in the bathroom?"

"Dude, you scared the balls out of Sanada!" shouted Sakon, as he laughed and laughed. Then Keiji turned to him and laughed even more. He had fooled him for almost a week now, and he still didn't know that it was only him that bought him those gifts, and because of that, Keiji laughed even more.

"Keiji, you're sick," said Kanetsugu, shaking his head, smiling.

"Hahahah," Keiji laughed. "I only wanted to share the smell of the great outdoors of nature! Hahahah!" This time, they all laughed, including Kanetsugu. Straight ahead, Yukimura poked his head out of the bathroom.

Today in Keiji's English class, they were reading Romeo and Juliet. Mrs. No demanded that Keiji read Romeo's lines and that he could choose anyone to read Juliet's lines. Keiji looked around the room at some of the girls. He looked at Himiko, Nu Wa, Gracia, Aya, Kaihime, and then gave Kaihime that look as if he was going to choose her to read.

"No! No way! Don't even call on me," Kaihime said, looking at him, as he started laughing. "You pick on me too much!"

"Yes, I will call on you!" he shouted, laughing. He only wanted to call on her to read because then she would have to read the part where Juliet says 'Oh, Romeo, Romeo, Wherefore art thou Romeo?' and he could laugh at her.

"No! How you already know that I just hate reading these kinds of stories!" she replied. "So don't call on me!"

"So Keiji, who are you going to choose?" asked Mrs. No, crossing her arms.

"I'm going to choose…," he began, smiling and waving 'hi' to Kaihime. "Kaihime!"

"No!" she yelled, as everyone laughed. Then Mrs. No made both of them read the lines from Act II Scene II beginning with "Ay me".

Kaihime took a deep breath and read. "Ay me!"

Keiji snickered at her and read. "She speaks. O, speak again, bright angel, for thou art

as glorious to this night, being o'er my head, as is a winged messenger of heaven unto the white-upturned wondering eyes of mortals that fall back to gaze on him when he bestrides the lazy-puffing clouds and sails upon the bosom of the air."

Kaihime laughed at Keiji while he was reading. Then she looked at the next couple of lines and said, "Aww! I don't want to read this part!"

Keiji laughed and then made a serious face. "Just do it!"

"No, it's stupid!" she snapped.

"Kaihime, you will read or you will not get participation points," said Mrs. No.

Keiji thought to himself that good thing she didn't read it yet. He secretly took out his white iPhone 4 and pressed a few things on it. He laughed evily in his mind.

"Man!" Kaihime whined, as she began reading the next part. "O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?" she said, as everyone laughed, including Mrs. No. Keiji laughed the loudest. "See? I didn't want to read because I knew you guys were going to laugh at me!" she said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh Kaihime, how you know that we just love you!" Keiji said, laughing.

"Whatever! You just want to make fun of me like you always do!" she replied, dogging him, and reading the rest of the lines.

Pretty soon, it was lunch time. Keiji and Sakon felt like eating a burrito supreme today so they both started walking to the taco truck which was across the street. As they got to the truck, they both saw Ina with her friend, Ginchiyo Tachibana.

"Oh shit," began Sakon, smiling at Ina. Keiji began to smile too, thinking of what his friend would say to her. "Hey Ina! Yoo-hoo! Over here!"

Ina turned to see that it was only Sakon. "Oh my god. Are you ever going to leave me alone?"

"Nope," Sakon replied. "It's okay, because I know you like me."

"Whatever! You wish!" she shouted, as Keiji started laughing. He could feel it coming out of Sakon now.

"Yeah right. No need to be shy," he responded.

"I am not shy!" she shouted. "I do not like you at all, Sakon! So stop following me!"

"Yes you do!" Sakon objected. "You just bought me balloons, a cake, and a big teddy bear last Friday, and now you're acting like you don't know anything. How innocent you and your little lies are, Ina."

Keiji smiled very huge and quickly tip-toed into a random Hello Kitty store and started laughing like crazy in there as soon as the door closed. The lady that worked there gave him a confused look was freaked out, which made Keiji laugh even more. Finally, he stopped laughing as he saw a pink Hello Kitty diary that had cheetah print on it. He knew Kaihime would like it so he bought it for her, only because he made her read one of the lines from Romeo and Juliet that she hated.

After that, Keiji tried not to laugh and came out of the store. He heard Sakon and Ina's commotions.

"Why would I buy you balloons, Sakon? I don't even care about you and I don't even know anything about you, except for the fact that you're such a jerk! So leave me the eff alone or I will get a restraining order!" Ina shouted, as she and Ginchiyo started walking back to campus.

"If you didn't buy it, then who did? Huh?" Sakon yelled to her.

"I don't know! Gosh! All I know was that it wasn't me!" she said, crossing the street now.

Sakon remained quiet for a second. Then he sharply turned to Keiji and said, "It was you, wasn't it!" As soon as he said that, Keiji laughed and laughed. Then he waved 'hi' to Sakon. "You and your pranks! Watch, I'll get you back, Keiji!" Sakon said, shaking his head. He couldn't believe that he fell for Keiji's prank.


	6. Chapter 6 The New Student

Next Monday, in their Haiku class, they had to write Haiku poems and share one to the class. Keiji loved that subject; he loved to write many hilarious poems. A Haiku poem contains three lines; the first line must have five syllables. The second line must have seven syllables and the third line must have five syllables again. Keiji was always the first to share his poems with the class. While they were working on their poem, the door swung opened. Keiji quickly turned and was the first to see Principal Takeda walk into the room.

_Uh-oh, _he thought. _I hope he's not here to see me!_

Along with Principal Takeda, there came a student who was very strange looking. He was sort of like an emo-punkish looking kid because it looked like he had a dark side.

"Hello class, we have a new student joining us today and he will be in this class," began Principal Takeda. "His name is Hanzo Hattori. He barely moved here from Japan so please be kind to him."

"Okay," answered the class. Then the principal took off, which left Hanzo standing in front of the class.

"Well, hello and welcome to the class, Hanzo!" greeted Mrs. Okuni. Then she took out the seating chart and looked through it. "Just give me a second and I will find you a seat. Oh, you can sit next to Masamune. Masamune, will you please raise your hand?" Masamune chewed gum and sat down on his desk lazily. He raised his hand. "Right over there, Hanzo," pointed Mrs. Okuni.

"He sure is quiet," whispered Yukimura. "He hasn't even said a word yet."

"Yeah..," agreed Kiyomasa. "How strange."

Keiji looked at the new kid. _Damn, he must be a one of those punk rock guys, _he thought to himself. He turned to Toshiie and Motochika and said, "Well, looks like you two aren't the only punk rocks around here anymore." They shrugged their shoulders.

Instead of just writing regular Haiku poems, Mrs. Okuni wanted the class to write a Haiku poem about themselves as a way to introduce themselves to Hanzo. Everyone had fifteen minutes to write their poem. After they did so, Mrs. Okuni decided to do popcorn on sharing their poem. She went first.

"Hello, how are you? My name is Mrs. Okuni. I am the teacher," she said, smiling, and then throwing a ball to Keiji.

Keiji smiled very big and cleared his throat. "Sup, I am Keiji. I love to prank everyone. I will prank you too." After he went, he threw the ball to Yukimura.

Yukimura smiled handsomely. "I'm Yukimura. I am the most handsome one. I like attention." He threw the ball to Mitsunari.

"I'm Mitsunari. I take thing seriously. Do not mess with me," Mitsunari said, throwing the ball to Kiyomasa.

"I'm Kiyomasa. Welcome to our Haiku class. You will have some fun," Kiyomasa said. Then he threw the ball to Sakon.

"I'm Sakon Shima; the valedictorian. I am number one," said Sakon, throwing the ball to Kanetsugu.

"Hello there, fella. My name is Kanetsugu. I shall bring you light," Kanetsugu said, as everyone started laughing. He didn't understand why it was so funny. Hanzo gave him a confused look. Then Kanetsugu threw the ball to Masanori.

"I'm Masanori. We can be really good friends. Hope your day goes well," said Masanori, throwing the ball to Kunoichi.

She caught it, made a show-off face, and said, "I'm Kunoichi. I bet I'm faster than you. I'd like to race you." Hanzo formed a half-smile and chuckled.

Yukimura gasped and whispered, "He finally makes a sound," but it was loud enough for the whole class to hear. Keiji laughed at Yukimura, because Yukimura sucked at lying and whenever he whispered something, everyone could hear him. Then Kunoichi threw the ball to Oichi.

"I am Oichi, girlfriend of Nagamasa. Welcome to this class," she said, smiling. She threw the ball to Magoichi.

"Hey, what's up, Hanzo? My name is Magoichi. We can be buddies," he said, as he threw the ball to Toshiie.

Toshiie laughed before he read. "I am Toshiie. I had a dream, I was King. I woke up, still King." Everyone laughed at his poem, especially Keiji, even though it was not that funny. He continued laughing, annoying the crap out of Mitsunari, since he sat right in front of him. Then, from behind, Mitsunari poked Keiji on the shoulder with his sharpened art pencil, as Keiji gave out a loud shriek, while laughing.

"Be quiet, damn!" Mitsunari shouted, as Keiji kept laughing. It hurt him for a few seconds and then the pain went away. Finally, Keiji stopped laughing. Toshiie threw the ball to Motochika.

"I'm Motochika. I like to play the guitar. So, are you a punk?" he said, smiling, and throwing the ball to Goemon. Hanzo remained quiet.

"They call me a thief," began Goemon, as the whole class began laughing. He 'shhhhed' them. "But my name is Goemon. I will steal from you!" The class laughed again.

"Goemon, that is not very nice of you," commented Mrs. Okuni. "And since the bell is about to ring, give the ball to Hanzo." Goemon threw the ball to him.

He caught it and looked down. "My name is Hanzo….I can make you disappear….Into the shadows…"

The class looked at each other. They laughed and laughed, especially Keiji again. The bell rang and because Keiji thought Hanzo was a cool guy, he was about to ask Hanzo if he wanted to hang out with them for a couple of days until he made some new friends, but when he turned to Hanzo, he was already gone. He thought, _how strange!_

Afterschool, Keiji's group of friends started to walk to a park nearby to play soccer, except Kanetsugu. He had to work that day. Keiji and his friends are supposed to meet up with Musashi and his friends.

"Man, it sucks that Kanetsugu can't join us," said Yukimura, watching Kanetsugu drive off to work. He had a silver Lamborghini. His parents bought it for him a couple weeks before school started.

"I know, right?" said Kiyomasa, fixing his shirt. "He should just quit his job. He already has everything. He even gets allowances from his parents too."

"He should," said Masanori. "He's like one of the richest kids in school."

"I know!" stormed Keiji, barely realizing that Kanetsugu did have everything. Then he remembered that Kaihime was a rich girl and had everything she wanted too. "What I don't understand is that if he already has everything, why does he keep working for more? And also, Kaihime is hella rich too! Have you guys seen her room?"

"Um, no," they replied. Keiji explained to them that Kaihime's room had four doors which connected to four different rooms. One of the connected rooms was a whole room filled with clothes. One of the other rooms was filled with shoes, belts, and accessories. Another one was a bathroom, and the last one was a room with a giant flat screen t.v. with a stuffed fridge. It even had a couch, a computer, and a laptop too.

"How that conceited bitch is such a rich girl. Just because she's from Beverly Hills, she thinks she's all that," Keiji said, laughing his ass off, as his friends did the same. While walking, they decided to stop by Food4Less. As Keiji walked, he saw Lunchables. He remembered his mom used to buy him those when he was small. "Oh my gosh! My mom used to buy me these!" he shouted, picking one up.

Mitsunari turned and said, "So?"

Keiji laughed. "So I think I will buy one. I remember I use to always try to win but I never do," he said.

Masanori laughed too. "I know! That thing is such a lie!"

After they finished buying their desired snacks, they continued walking and reached the park in no time. They sat on a picnic table waiting for Musashi and his friends. Keiji closed his eyes and prayed, putting his hands together in front of himself. He mouthed words, as his friends laughed at him. Mitsunari called him stupid.

Keiji ripped open the Lunchables box and-BOOM! His eyes couldn't believe what he just saw! He had won! Happiness ran through his body! He jumped up and screamed. "I won! I won!"

Yukimura jumped up too. "Where! Where! I want to see!"

Keiji quickly showed the box to him and looked at it a second time. Then he realized that he actually didn't win.

"No you didn't!" shouted Yukimura, laughing. As soon as Yukimura said that, Keiji bursted out laughing too.

"Oh mother! For a second there, I thought I actually won! Hahahah!" he said, falling to the floor. He could've sworn it said that he won, but it actually didn't. They enjoyed their laugh until Musashi and his friends arrived.

Keiji, Sakon, Mitsunari, Kiyomasa, Yukimura, and Masanori were finally getting warmed up for their game. They were jogging from cone to cone. Musashi, Toshiie, Motochika, and Magoichi were stretching. They did sit-ups, push-ups, and jogged in place. Then they all came together.

"Masanori," began Mitsunari, "Get your ass to Musashi's team." Everyone looked at him, thinking how rude he was. "What are you all lookin' at?"

"Damn, that's hella mean," said Kiyomasa. "Why do you always want to go against Masanori?"

"Man! Why do I always have to be on the other team?" Masanori said to Mitsunari.

"Cuz you're annoying," Mitsunari replied.

"What did I, ever do, to you?" Masanori said, moving his head and smiling at the same time. He knew he could be annoying, but he acted like he didn't do anything because it was fun acting like that.

"You freaken spied on me!" Mitsunari replied, dogging him.

"When?" he responded. Mitsunari looked at him fiercely as he began to explain the time when Masanori spied on him. Keiji smiled, remembering when Masanori spied on Mitsunari.

*FLASHBACK*

It was late at night, around 12:45 am, after Mitsunari and his parents had just finished watching Ju On 2 (The Japanese Version of The Grudge) for the first time. It scared Mitsunari a lot, especially when his parents left upstairs to go sleep. Mitsunari's room was downstairs. He left his lights turned on, and turned to his closet, realizing that it looked similar to the closet from the movie.

_It doesn't exist_, he told himself. _She's only fake. _

He laid on his bed, closed his eyes, and tried to sleep. All of a sudden, air swooshed through his window, as he flinched and hid under his covers. He shut his eyes tight for thirty seconds.

_ What the hell am I doing_, he thought to himself. _It's just the air._

He slowly poked his head out of the blanket. There was nothing so he got up, walked to the window, and closed it. He started walking back to his bed, but he felt like someone was watching him. He quickly turned his head back to the window. It was pitch black outside. For some reason, he was very scared, although there was nothing outside the window. Then he decided to close the blinds.

_There_, he thought. _I will definitely be safe._

He walked back to his bed and laid down again. He closed his eyes and somehow, he pictured the grudge lady coming out of his closet. He gasped and opened his eyes. He quickly turned to his closet. Slowly, he got up and started walking towards the closet without realizing it.

_Don't be in there! Don't be in there!_ He told himself.

When he got half way, he was just too scared to take another step. Before he knew it, he quickly grabbed a teddy bear on the floor and hugged it real tight. He was trembling as he kept thinking about the grudge lady.

"I want my…Mommy," he whispered, as tears formed in his eyes. He wanted to make a run upstairs to his parent's room, but then he pictured the little boy Toshio waiting for him by the stairs. He got even more paranoid.

Stuck standing in the middle of his room, he shut his eyes tightly and continued hugging the teddy bear. All of a sudden, he pictured his teddy bear turning into the grudge.

"Ahh," he screamed, throwing the teddy bear, as it flew into the closet. He stood still, not knowing what to do now. Then he remembered that his closet had been shut the entire time. He concluded that the grudge lady opened his closet and was trying to get out.

_Oh F*ck! She's here! In my room! _He shouted in his mind.

He started to run but then he heard something kick his closet. He stopped running.

_You know what? _He thought.

"I am not a baby!" he shouted. "I am not a chicken either! I am Mitsunari, the brave and fearless man!" As soon as he said that, he picked up his fan from his Martial Arts class and held it up high like a warrior. "Come out, wherever you are!"

Then he heard a laughter; one that he had heard many times before. Suddenly, Masanori popped out from the closet and cracked up onto the floor….

*PRESENT*

"And you freaken told everyone about it when I told you not to!" Mitsunari shouted. "Did you know how much I wanted to kick your ass for scaring the hell out of me?"

Masanori laughed and laughed. "Well, I couldn't help it. It was too funny!" he replied, as Mitsunari started walking to him to karate chop him. Masanori began to run so Mitsunari chased him.

The whole time when Mitsunari told the story from his point of view, everyone else sat down on a picnic table, eating popcorn out of nowhere. They didn't even know how they got the popcorn in the first place, and because of that, Keiji laughed and laughed. Then he remembered that Yukimura had bought it from Food4Less.

"Wow," laughed Sakon, watching Mitsunari chase Masanori. "Look at them go!" The rest also laughed too.

After Mitsunari chased Masanori, they played soccer. Keiji was the one that ended up being on Musashi's team. When Keiji had the ball, he farted every time someone tried to take the ball from him. He thought it was very funny and in the end, his team won 5 to 3.


	7. Chapter 7 Keiji's Facebook

On Friday afterschool, Keiji had nothing to do, so he stayed home and used his laptop. He realized that he hadn't been on Facebook for a while now. He logged onto his Facebook and had 87 notifications, 75 new messages, and 200 new friend requests. He was VERY popular on Facebook, although he didn't go on Facebook a lot.

He first checked his friend requests. There was as Asian man with a picture of himself smiling pervertedly. Keiji laughed and accepted him. There was an African American user with a picture of himself smoking. Keiji also accepted him. There was another one with a girl who was about ten or eleven years old only. Keiji thought that she was way too young to be using Facebook, but he accepted her anyways. He went through all his friend requests and accepted all of them, except for one that caught his eyes and cracked him up. It was a user named Chad Mason Yu and it had a picture of Keiji on the display.

_Wow, really? Chad Mason Yu? _He told himself. He laughed at the user. _At least give me a better name!_

Keiji did not accept "Chad Mason Yu". Instead, he clicked on his messages because he had been through this situation many times. Usually when someone made a fake page of him, they would message him, telling him how fake he was. As he expected, that "Chad Mason Yu" did send him a message with a subject saying "Bitch, Don't Be Making a Fake Page of Me!" He laughed even more and clicked on the message. It read:

"You are such a low-life troll. Why are you all making a fake page of me? I know I'm good looking and everything, but it doesn't give you a reason to be making a fake page of me. So you better delete your account now or I will report you to the police!"

"Hahahah!" he laughed. He thought that the person behind this was so pathetic. He replied back to "Chad Mason Yu".

"Dearest Chad Mason Yu,

I really appreciate you for making me a fan page, but in case you didn't know, you made a mistake. My name is Keiji Maeda, not Chad Mason Yu. I'm sorry, but I am not a troll, I'm a tiger! And my beloved number one fan, thank you for letting me know that I'm good looking and everything! I really appreciate it! Oh yeah, I'm Japanese, not Chinese, you silly kid! We both already know who the fake one is so I won't even point that out. So umm, yeah…Have a nice day!"

He sent the message and went back to all his other messages. He only clicked on the messages that were from the people he knew. His uncle, the one that he pranked in the bathroom, sent him a message two days ago. He quickly read it.

"Hey Keiji. For Thanksgiving break, I will be booking a plane ticket to Texas. I am going to stay there and go to a cowboy casino. I have a VIP pass, so I can take any two people who are seventeen years and older along with me, and I was wondering if you would like to go. Let me know if you want to join me or not a.s.a.p. Thanks."

Keiji jumped with joy and quickly replied.

"Hey uncle! Of course I want to go! Who wouldn't? And where are we going to stay? What else are we going to do? And do I have to pay for my plane ticket too? Also, who else did you invite?"

He sent the message. He was very happy and couldn't wait to go to Texas. He pictured all the fun things they would be doing there. Since he had too much messages, he decided to check out his notifications. He had a lot of likes and comments on many different pictures and statuses that he posted up a while back. He was also tagged in other people's posts. A lot of users posted on his wall and other users sent him game requests. He was also invited to many events.

_Oh gosh, this is way too much for me to go through,_ he thought to himself. Instead of going through all of it, he clicked on his own profile. The average likes he got on his pictures and statuses were about 2,000 likes, since he had a whole bunch of friends. He decided to update his status.

"Blahblahblah, mimiblah, blahblahblahblahmimimi"

He laughed as he updated it. In ten seconds, he got 67 likes and 13 comments. He didn't even bother reading the comments but when he saw that one of the comments was from Kiyomasa, he read it. Kiyomasa wrote:

"Lol, my cousins are over and they're watching Finding Nemo right now! And it's at that part too!"

Keiji liked his comment but didn't reply back to it, because right now, too many people already commented after Kiyomasa, and it was making his head hurt. It has been a minute now and his notifications kept blowing up! He now had 289 likes on that status. It made him feel great about himself, because he was the most popular guy he knew on Facebook.

As that was happening, a lot of people kept trying to chat and Skype with him, but since they were all strangers, he kept clicking the little exit button one after the other after the other. This kept going on for about five minutes straight and it was annoying him a lot. He got so tired of it.

_Gosh, this is the reason why I only go on once in a while, _he thought.

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore so he logged out. His tummy growled, since he hadn't eaten anything today. He came out of his room and saw his mom cooking. He missed his mother because she was always at work and he hardly saw her. He walked to her.

"Hey mom," he said to her, giving her a big two hand hug. "I missed you a lot!"

His mother hugged him back and said, "Aww, you know I missed you too!"

Then Keiji decided to help his mom cook. He chopped vegetables neatly and made some rice. Together, they made stir fry. There was chicken, broccoli, carrot, onion, garlic, crab meat, shrimp, bell pepper, jalapeno pepper, and regular red pepper mixed together. They also poured oyster sauce and stir fry sauce on it. It smelled so good. His mom also barbequed six fat chunks of meat in the oven, and they were waiting for it to cook.

Keiji walked back into his room and checked his iPhone if he got any text or missed calls. Yukimura texted him to see if he could come spend the night at Keiji's because he was dying of boredom.

A couple thoughts ran through his mind as he texted back, "Of course u can come. Just hurry bcuz dinner's almost ready". Keiji smiled evily, and in ten seconds, Yukimura texted him back. He wrote, "K. On my way".

Keiji walked to his closet and found his old metro phone and threw it on his bed. Then he walked into the kitchen and asked to see if he could borrow his mom's credit card. She let him, so he took the credit card and walked back into his room. He walked to his laptop and went on the metro pcs site. He used his mom's credit card to activate the metro phone. He put the metro phone on silent mode and decided to prank call Yukimura to see if the phone worked. It rang three times and Yukimura picked up.

"Hello?" he answered. Keiji formed a huge smile and remained silent for five seconds. "Hello?" Yukimura said, again. "Hello?" Then Keiji hung up on him. He laughed really ugly for a couple of seconds.

"Keiji, are you okay?" said his mother, as she knocked on his door.

He laughed normally again and said, "Yeah, I'm okay. I was just testing out my laugh."

"Well..Okay..If anything goes wrong, let me know okay?" she responded.

"Okay, I will," he said to her. He hid the metro phone in his pocket and came out of the room to let his mom know that Yukimura was coming over.

Right when their six big chunks of meat had finished cooking, Yukimura arrived. Keiji couldn't wait to have some real fun!

"Come on, let's go eat," Keiji said to him. Yukimura nodded his head, as he left his things in Keiji's room. They walked to the kitchen. Yukimura saw that Keiji they ate differently from how his family ate. The difference was that Keiji's family had knives on their plates!

As Yukimura took a seat, he looked at Keiji. Keiji looked at Yukimura too and smiled. They sat next to each other. Keiji's mother gave them each a huge chunk of meat. Yukimura had a confused look on his face. Keiji laughed at him because he knew that Yukimura was thinking "How am I supposed to eat this?"

"Here, let me show you how it's done," Keiji said to Yukimura. He took his fork and stabbed it on the chunk of meat. Then he took the knife and cut a piece of the meat from the side as thin as he could, just like ham. Yukimura looked even more confused. Keiji laughed again.

Yukimura whispered, "Is it required for us to cut it very skinny?", but everyone heard what he said. Keiji laughed more and nodded his head.

"It's a rule," Keiji replied, laughing. Yukimura swallowed hard and picked up his knife. He tried to cut it very skinny, but he cut it too thick, and looked at Keiji.

"Oops," he said, with his innocent face. Keiji laughed again and again.

"I was only kidding, Sanada!" he shouted. Yukimura smiled and cut his chunk of meat into thick pieces and ate it. _Silly Sanada, _Keiji thought to himself.

After dinner, he and Yukimura talked for a while in his room. Then he decided to show Yukimura about the fake Facebook account that tried to add him. He got on his laptop and logged onto his Facebook. Once again, his notifications blew up! He had 89 new friend requests, 78 new messages, and 54 notifications, although it had only been a couple hours after he last checked his Facebook.

"Man, this is so annoying," Keiji said to Yukimura. Yukimura wished that he could be as popular as Keiji on Facebook. For Yukimura, his average amount of likes was 1,500. He was very popular too, but he wanted to have at least 2,000 likes for once.

"You're so popular, Keiji," Yukimura told him. "I wish I could be as popular as you."

"You are!" Keiji told him, clicking on his messages. That 'Chad Mason Yu' already replied back to him. He clicked on the message and said, "Check this out."

Chad Mason Yu wrote:

"Bitch, you ain't shit a tiger! You're just a troll. Yes, you are right. We both already know who the fake one is: YOU! So like I said, you better delete that fake account of me or I will call the cops!"

Keiji laughed and laughed. "Man, this person is too funny!"

"Eww, why did he create a fake account of you?" Yukimura asked. He felt sick, because he had never experienced someone creating a fake account of someone and write shit to them.

"Hahahah, I don't know," Keiji replied. "Maybe it's because…They like me and want to try to be like me."

"What a stalker, man," said Yukimura. He read the message too, and got mad. "Tell him that Kiyomasa's dad is a police and can track him down if he doesn't fuck off!"

Kiyomasa's dad was a police. He wasn't just a police, but he was the head police of the city that they lived in, which was San Zulin, Luxuria. They lived in United States; even though Luxuria was its own state, United States still had 50 states, because North Dakota and South Dakota formed together and became Dakota.

Keiji laughed. "Nah, it's okay, Sanada. If he wants to play, I'll give him a game to play."

Keiji decided to make a video. He and Yukimura sat next to each other and used his webcam to make the video. They practiced first and laughed. Then they began recording.

Keiji said, "Hello, Chad Mason Yu! My name is Keiji Maeda! How do you do?"

Yukimura said, "And I'm Yukimura. You love games, right?"

"He sure does, Sanada," said Keiji smiling. "So anyways, let's play I Spy."

"I wanna go first!" shouted Yukimura. "I spy with my handsome eyes…someone who is really funny."

"Yeah, someone who creates fake accounts and tries to be them," Keiji said, winking at the webcam. "So if you think you know who he is, please make a video and tell us!"

"Yeah!" said Yukimura, smiling. "You'll win a big surprise!" They looked at each other and laughed. Then they got serious and Yukimura said, "No, bitch, we're just screwing with you! So you better fuck off my homie or you'll be sorry!"

"Yeah, fuck off," said Keiji. "Is life really that boring? Cuz if it is, you can just follow me on Twitter instead of trying to start shit with me."

"So quit that dumb act, you so-called Chad Mason Yu," said Yukimura.

"And have a nice day!" shouted Keiji, smiling and waving bye to the web-cam.

"More like, have a nightmare," finished Yukimura.

They stopped recording and they sent the video to Chad Mason Yu. Keiji ignored all the other messages and clicked home. On the right side of the screen, where it says People you may know, they saw an account with Yukimura's picture on it. The name was Dmitri Devonte. Yukimura screamed and "ewwed" it many times, while Keiji laughed his butt off.


	8. Chapter 8 Keiji and Yukimura's Sleepover

"It seems like you have a stalker yourself, Sanada," Keiji told him. "And Dmitri Devonte is such an African American name! It hekka doesn't match you because you're Asian! Hahahah!"

"I know!" replied Yukimura. He was sad because someone had made a fake page of him too. Keiji clicked on Dmitri Devonte's profile and decided to send him a message. "What are you going to write?" Yukimura asked him.

"This," Keiji responded, typing really fast. He wrote:

"Ey yo, what do you think you're doing?", and sent it. Then he thought of an idea.

"Hey, you said you wanted at least 2000 likes, right?" he said to Yukimura. Yukimura nodded his head. "Well then, in that case, I'll share you on my status!"

Yukimura smiled. "You will? Do you really think I could get that much likes?"

"Of course!" he responded. He updated his status again. He wrote:

"Go add my nigga, Yukimura Sanada. He's hot, sexy, handsome, cute, and SINGLE! Blow up his notifications and I'll Skype with the lucky 2,000th person who likes his next status in five minutes! So get ready, get set, and START ADDING HIM IF YOU HAVEN'T ADDED HIM YET AND GO LIKE HIS STAT!"

He also wrote the link to Yukimura's profile and said, "Watch your notifications blow up in the next minute," and he updated it. He quickly logged off so Yukimura could log into his.

When Yukimura logged on, he had 498 new friend request, 267 new messages, and 78 notifications. He began accepting the entire friend requests. It took him four minutes to accept it all. Then he updated his status. He wrote:

"Like my status, yeah?"

Right after he wrote that, 55 people liked it at once and the number was increasing. Yukimura was very amazed!

"Wow!" he shouted, as Keiji laughed.

"See? I told you your notifications were going to blow up," Keiji told him. "You might like watching the number increase but after a while, it starts to kinda get annoying."

In two minutes, Yukimura had 756 likes. They saw that Sakon, Masanori, and Kanetsugu liked his status too. Mitsunari commented, "NO!", and Yukimura was sad at that comment so he liked it just so he can unlike it.

Yukimura said, "I don't like Mitsunari. He's mean."

Keiji laughed and laughed. He told Yukimura that Mitsunari is just like one of Marilyn Monroe's quotes, because if you couldn't handle him at his worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve his best. Yukimura was amazed at what Keiji had said. Even though sometimes Keiji pranked them, he always knew that he could count on Keiji to make him happy.

Three minutes later, the number of likes increased to 1,500. In the next minute, it reached 2,000 likes, but the number still increased. Kiyomasa commented, "Okay, Sweetie. I'll like your status because I like you lol. If you were a girl, I'd totally date you! Lmfao!"

Yukimura smiled and liked the comment. He quickly checked to see who the lucky 2,000th person was. It was an African American girl named Marshaquadee Meangwa (Mar-Sho-Qua-Di-Mean-Gwa). He clicked on her profile and looked at her pictures. He found an album that wrote "School" and clicked on it. She went to the same school that they did too. Keiji saw a picture of Marshaquadee with Kaihime. Marshaquadee was very humongous! She wasn't fat or anything, but she was super thick, buff, and tall. In the picture, Kaihime wore a stretchy hot pink strapless party dress that went down to her mid-thighs. She wore a silver belt over the dress and had on a silver high heel shoe. She was only up to Marshaquadee's underarm, even though she was 5'4. Well, with her high heel, she was probably like 5'6 or 5'7 in the picture, and maybe without her heels, she would've been up to Marshaquadee's chest.

"Eww!" Keiji shouted, laughing. "What the fuck is that ugly bitch doing with her? And how do they know each other? Hahahah!"

Keiji liked to call Kaihime ugly, because she was too pretty for a girl, and because it's funny whenever he calls her that, even though he doesn't mean it. He loves her reaction, especially when she says, "Stop calling me that! I'm not ugly, I'm BEAUTIFUL!" That was one of his favorite lines from her.

"Well, Keiji," said Yukimura, "It looks like you'll have to Skype with this Marshaquadee girl."

"Okay," Keiji replied. Yukimura logged off of his account and let Keiji log back on to his. He searched Marshaquadee Meangwa and realized that they were already Facebook friends. She was online so he Skyped with her.

"Sup," he said to her. Damn, did she look scary. She had a lip pierce and a nose pierce.

"Hey," she said to him sharply. "Do you wanna fucken be homies or what?"

Keiji and Yukimura quickly looked at each other with an "O" lip and wide eyes. Man, was she one rude woman.

"Uh, I guess?" Keiji said to her.

"Well then, you better meet me at school in the quad at lunch on Monday, you pest," she replied. She had a mean attitude.

"Umm, why?" he responded.

"Because I fucken said so!" she shouted. "I have to fucken go now!" Then she logged off and quit Skype.

"Damn, she's hella mean," Yukimura said to Keiji. He definitely agreed with him. "I think she and Mitsunari will make a good couple since they both have issues," Yukimura said, again.

Keiji laughed so much. _Oh how Sanada is so funny!, _he thought to himself. What Yukimura had just said gave Keiji a very great idea. He told Yukimura what he was going to do and asked him to participate in it too. Yukimura agreed, since he wanted to know how it was like to prank people.

Pretty soon, Keiji remembered about what he was going to do with the metro phone. He was going to play phone pranks on Yukimura, but decided to post-pone it, because if he pranked Yukimura, he would probably tell everyone about their prank, and Keiji didn't want him too, because this one was going to be a good one.

Later on, they both showered and went to sleep. The next day, Saturday, Keiji's mother asked if they both wanted to go grocery shopping with her. They agreed and packed. Then they all got in Keiji's mom's car and left. They went to a store called "Universal Groceries". That store had many different kinds of food from all over the world. Keiji and his mom each got their own cart, because whenever they went grocery shopping, they always used up two carts. Then they split up, but Yukimura followed Keiji.

As they walked isle to isle, Keiji grabbed boxes of pizza, burrito, chicken nugget, orange chicken, fries, and many other things. Then they walked to the drink aisle. Keiji grabbed a pack of hello kitty water bottles, because you have a high chance of winning $1,000 if one of the water bottle has a cap saying, "You Won". They also got Capri Suns, sodas, and bags of chips. After that, they went to the bakery section. They grabbed donuts, cupcakes, brownies, cookies, and croissants. After that, they saw a guy that carefully grabbed a sandwich and tucked it into his pants. Then he started to turn to them, but Keiji quickly pushed Yukimura's head down and they both ducked behind a table that had a whole bunch of cakes on it. Yukimura gasped, opened his mouth widely, and looked at Keiji.

"He's stealing!" he whispered, as he took out his cell phone. "We have to call the police!"

Keiji snickered softly. "No, Sanada!" he said, putting Yukimura's phone back into his pocket. "It's alright."

"No, it's not!" he replied. "Stealing is bad!"

"Hey, I've stole before too, you know?" Keiji told him. Yukimura's eyes widened as the thief walked out of the store.

"You have?" he asked.

"Yup. I stole Kaihime's candy in her purse a couple weeks ago without her realizing it," he replied. Yukimura just gasped. "You know, you have to learn that you can't always be good in your whole life. For once, you have to do something bad."

"How come?" Yukimura asked again.

"Because that's just how life is," said Keiji. "Even my mom used to be a little bitch in high school, but she changed. She even told me too. And look at me; I prank everyone all the time and I'm still a good person."

"But my mom says that I have to be a good boy or else I will be in 'Big Trouble, Buster'," Yukimura told him. Keiji laughed and laughed. "That's why I'm a good boy," he finished.

Keiji remembered one time when he and his crew drank Budweiser, except for Kanetsugu. Yukimura even drank with them and told Keiji that he liked butterflies and that they were so cute.

"Oh Sanada," Keiji began. "Don't act like you haven't been bad before."

"I haven't," he replied.

Keiji thought for a bit. "Well, maybe you weren't being bad, but you were being naughty! Remember that time when you got drunk with us?"

"Umm," he said, making his innocent face. "Well, you forced me to drink with you guys."

"Exactly. But still, you drank," Keiji said, smiling. "That's considered naughty-bad. But it's okay, Sanada. You're still a good guy like me."

Yukimura looked down. "Fine then. I guess it is okay to be bad once in a while," he said, looking back up.

Then they grabbed all the things they wanted and met up with Keiji's mom. The cart that Keiji's mom had was full of fruits and vegetables. It was also stuffed with meat, hot dogs, buns, salami, ham, and hamburger meat. Finally, Keiji's mom paid for it.

On Monday at lunch, Keiji decided to go meet up with Marshaquadee Meangwa at the quad to see how tall she was. Yukimura went with him, because they were still kind of planning their prank. They waited a couple minutes and suddenly, a very tall African American girl approached them. It was definitely Marshaquadee Meangwa for sure. Yukimura was scared of her, because of her looks, and she looked even scarier in real life.

"Hey you," she said, pointing to Keiji. "We're homies, right?"

"Um, yeah, I guess," he said, laughing in his mind, but forcing himself not to laugh. Marshaquadee was up to Keiji's forehead. She was the tallest girl he had ever seen in his whole life.

"Okay," she replied. Then she looked at her nails and said, "Then do me a favor."

"What do you want me to do?" he asked her.

She wanted him to go cuss out a girl named Suzy, because Suzy was picking on her little sister named Oakley, and she didn't want to waste her time on Suzy. Keiji thought about it and decided that it would be kind of fun to do that.

"Alright," he said to her. "But what am I supposed to say to her?"

"Anything that comes into your mind," she replied. She told Keiji where Suzy hung out at, and she gave him a picture of her. She was a light skinned Mexican and was pretty, but not as pretty as Kaihime. "Anyways, I got to go. I'll give you something nice later."

As she left, Yukimura looked at him.

"Are you really going to do that?" he asked Keiji. Keiji nodded his head as they walked to the area where Suzy hung out at. They looked at the picture and looked up to a group of light skinned Mexican girls. There were five of them. They saw Keiji and Yukimura looking at them. Keiji spotted Suzy, as she smiled and walked to them.

"You two can stop drooling now. You're going to get my shoes wet," she said, putting her hands on her hips. Yukimura opened his mouth and looked at Keiji.

Keiji laughed and laughed. "Oh really?" he said to her, smiling, and putting his hands on his hips too. She mugged him.

"Yeah!" she said, with an attitude. Keiji thought that she must have thought that she was very pretty. Then he decided to make a fool of her.

"Please, girlfriend," he said, shaking his head. "Why on earth would I be drooling? You're not even my type and to be honest, I bet I'd be prettier than you if I had make-up on."

"Whatever, you uglyass bitch!" she replied. Keiji smelled her breath and it smelled like onion. He laughed so hard. "And are you fucking gay or what? That's why you're telling me this!"

"It doesn't matter if I'm gay or not," he replied to her, smiling, and taking out a peppermint tic-tac. "And you can sure use a tic-tac because your breath has the scent of musty onion." He handed her a tic-tac, as Yukimura laughed and laughed.

Suzy's jaw dropped as she smacked the tic-tac out of Keiji's hand. She told him to shut the fuck up and she said that his mom was an uglyass troll. She also said that his dad should just die and for Keiji to go to hell. She turned to Yukimura and bitch-slapped him on his cheek really hard and said 'fuck you' to him.

Yukimura hated getting hit on his face, because he liked his face. It got him mad but he didn't hit her back because he doesn't hit girls.

Then Suzy pushed Keiji as hard as she could, and said 'fuck you too', but Keiji didn't even move an inch. He was very mad at what she had said about his parents and what she just did to Yukimura. Finally, he gave out a very powerful push to her. She slowly flew in the air. She was posed with her legs and arms straight out in front of her. She flew in the air for ten seconds and landed on top of a five story English building.

Keiji asked Yukimura if he was okay. He nodded and laughed at Suzy. Suzy looked down from the building and screamed for help many times, because she was stuck on the roof. Keiji and Yukimura kept laughing and laughing at her. That's what she got for being a bitch to them. Then they went off campus and enjoyed the rest of their lunch time.


	9. Chapter 9 Mitsunari's Date

After school, Keiji and Yukimura were discussing about their prank for about ten minutes. They sat down on a picnic table, waiting for the rest to come.

"I'll bring her and then you'll bring Mitsunari. Okay?" Keiji told Yukimura. He nodded his head and smiled.

"Okay," he whispered, giggling softly. Then Kiyomasa, Sakon, and Kanetsugu walked to them.

"Shh! Be quiet before they know that we're up to no good," Keiji said softly. Yukimura quickly stopped giggling. They both listened to their other friend's commotions.

"The boats already been paid for," they heard Sakon say.

"And it's this Saturday, right?" Kiyomasa asked him.

"Yup," he replied, as they approached Yukimura and Keiji.

_Oh boy! I wonder if they're going boat riding, _Keiji thought to himself.

"What are you guys talking about?" Yukimura asked them.

"We're going boat riding on Saturday," Sakon replied. "You guys wanna tag along?"

"Oooh! Yeah! Yeah! I want to go!" Yukimura shouted, jumping with a big smile.

"Shore," Keiji said, with a high pitched voice. He meant to say 'sure' but he said it in a fancy way. "Why not?"

"Stop jumping already! You look so gay," Mitsunari said to Yukimura. He and Masanori barely came to them. Mitsunari looked pissed off and Masanori had a big smile on his face. Yukimura stopped jumping and stuck his tongue at Mitsunari. Then he crossed his arms and turned away.

"Where have you two been?" Kanetsugu asked them. "We waited and waited for you guys, but you guys never came, so we left."

Mitsunari turned to Masanori with a mad face. "This bitch got us in trouble!" he shouted, as Masanori laughed.

"What did he do?" Kiyomasa asked, smiling.

"He freaken kept bothering me when we were supposed to be quiet!" he shouted. Then he began telling them how they got in trouble.

*Flashback*

In their last class in 8th period, everyone had to be quiet and come up with three tactics. It was their politic class and their teacher was going to collet it at the end of the period. Mitsunari sat three desk in front of Masanori, but over to the left one desk.

"Pssst. Mitsunari," Masanori whispered. Mitsunari ignored him and continued writing. Suddenly, Masanori spitted out a spit ball at him.

He turned madly, and whispered, "What do you want?"

"Hi," Masanori whispered, smiling and waving hi to him.

"Mitsunari! Masanori! Didn't I tell everyone that there shall be no talking?" shouted the teacher, Mr. Tokugawa.

"Sorry," Masanori said, as he began doing his work.

"He kept-" Mitsunari started, but was interrupted.

"I don't care what he did or what you guys did!" said Mr. Tokugawa. "Just be quiet!" Mitsunari turned angrily to Masanori, but Masanori didn't even bother looking at him. "And turn around!" Mr. Tokugawa snapped, as Mitsunari turned back and worked on his tactics again.

Five minutes later, Masanori called his name again. "Psssssst. Mitsunari," he whispered, snickering softly.

_Stupid bitch, _Mitsunari thought. _I am not going to risk getting in trouble again!_

"Pssst! Can you hear me?" he whispered again. "Nari?"

Mitsunari continued working and ignored Masanori. Then Masanori started breaking his erasers into tiny pieces and began throwing it at Mitsunari one by one. Mitsunari moved a couple times, but Masanori didn't stop throwing it at him. Finally, he got very mad.

"Quit fucking doing that!" he shouted, as Masanori quickly picked up his pencil and began writing to make it seem like he didn't do anything.

"Be quiet!" Mr. Tokugawa shouted, looking at him.

"He was throwing-" he said, but was interrupted again.

"I don't care! Just do your work! Gosh!" Mr. Tokugawa shouted again. He told Mitsunari that if he disrupted the class one more time, he will be in trouble.

Mitsunari was super mad at Masanori now._ That fucker is going to get it afterschool,_ he thought. Ten minutes later, he felt something land on his head. He took it off and it was a piece of crumpled paper. He heard Masanori snickering softly, but did not even bother turning around to look at him. He opened the crumpled paper and it said "Help Me." _Fuck you, _he thought madly. _You just got me in trouble two times and you still dare ask me for help? Hell to the fucken no!_

Then he looked down on his paper and didn't care about his surroundings. He flicked Masanori off without taking his eyes off his paper. Suddenly, Mr. Tokugawa cleared his throat loud enough so everyone could hear. He was right in front of Mitsunari's desk and it looked like Mitsunari was flicking him off.

Mitsunari quickly stopped doing that, as Masanori laughed so much. As a punishment afterschool, Mitsunari had to write "I will not disrupt the class again" thirty times on a piece of line paper, and Masanori had to put his head down for ten minutes because he laughed at Mitsunari's poor behavior.

As Mitsunari was writing "I will not disrupt the class again", Masanori was peeking at him with one eye, and was snickering so much. He thought it was very funny but Mitsunari was literally mad at him.

*Present*

"I would've kicked your ass, but there were security guards around," Mitsunari said to Masanori, as they all entered the mall. They all laughed at Mitsunari's story. Mitsunari did not even remember them walking to the mall in the first place, so he said, "And what the heck are we doing here anyways?"

"I'm buying you guys some ice cream," Kanetsugu said to him. "Didn't you hear us talking about it?"

Mitsunari sighed. "Why ice cream?" he replied. "I'm so freaken mad right now, I don't even want to eat sweets!"

"Because I asked him to buy us some," Yukimura told him, smiling. "I can't wait for my mouth to dive into the delicious mint chocolate chip ice cream!" Keiji laughed at Yukimura. He was too cute sometimes. "And I want gummy bears, gummy worms, m&m's, skittles, and frosting on my ice cream!" Yukimura finished, smiling.

They all headed to Shibata's Devil Ice Cream Shop. Yukimura was so excited that he began jumping in place, as people looked at him.

"Quit jumping," Mitsunari told him. "You're embarrassing us!"

"No!" Yukimura replied, taunting him.

Keiji laughed and said, "You are not embarrassed of Sanada. You are only embarrassed of yourself." They all laughed at Keiji's comment, but Mitsunari rolled his eyes. When they went inside Shibata's Devil Ice Cream Shop, Yukimura was the very first one to order. Right before he finished ordering, he turned to Kanetsugu.

"Can I make it double scooped?" he asked, making a cute face. Kanetsugu nodded his head yes, as Yukimura jumped up with joy. Mitsunari rolled his eyes again.

In a bit, they all got their ice cream, except for Mitsunari.

"Are you sure you don't want one?" Kanetsugu asked him. "It's really good."

"I'm sure," he replied, watching Yukimura eat his ice cream. He slurped and licked his ice cream, which made Mitsunari feel disgusted. He mugged Yukimura and said, "Disgusting…"

Keiji thought of an idea. "Get him a happy meal," he said, laughing, as the rest laughed too.

"Hahaha! Good one, Keiji," Sakon said to him, as they did their hand shake.

"No!" Mitsunari shouted.

"Are you really, really sure?" Kanetsugu asked again.

"Yes," he replied. "I just don't feel like eating anything right now."

"Okay then," said Kanetsugu.

Finally, four days had passed. It was Friday, the day that Keiji and Yukimura had been waiting for. Keiji walked to the quad at lunch and found Marshaquadee. She was sitting down on a table.

"Hey," he said, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure," she said. She was much nicer than when he had first met her. He told her about how he pushed Suzy and how she landed and got stuck on the top of the English building. She laughed a lot. As a gift, she gave him a cigarette.

Never in his whole life had he ever smoked before. He knew it would be a bad idea to take it but he took it anyways. He wanted to try it one time only, just to see how it tasted like. Then he told Marshaquadee that Mitsunari had a big crush on her and that he wanted her to go and hang out with them today. She agreed because she was curious to know who Mitsunari was.

"So yeah," Keiji told her. "Just meet us at Toyotomi's Spicy Buffet at six o' clock."

"Alright," she said. Then they departed. Keiji walked and saw Yukimura walking after Mitsunari. He quickly hid behind a bush and listened to their commotions.

"Aww, come on!" Yukimura shouted. "If you don't go, I will be very sad!"

Mitsunari stopped walking and looked at Yukimura. "Why?" he shouted.

"Because," Yukimura said, making his innocent face. "It will be very fun if you go."

"What's the freaken difference between you going on your own and me going with you?" Mitsunari asked. He was very annoyed.

"The difference is that if you don't go, I will cry," Yukimura responded. He made a very sad face.

Mitsunari quickly laughed and stopped. "So? Go ahead and cry! I don't care!" he shouted. He began to walk away again.

Suddenly Yukimura began to cry. It wasn't just a soft cry; it was a loud cry. Everyone looked at them. From behind the bush, Keiji knew that Yukimura was only faking so Mitsunari will go. He secretly laughed.

Mitsunari turned back to Yukimura. Yukimura had the saddest face ever. "Stop crying!" he shouted, as Yukimura cried even louder. He did not know what to do now. Damn was Yukimura annoying the hell out of him. Finally, Mitsunari took a deep breath and said, "If you don't shut up, then I'm not going to go with you!"

After he said that, Yukimura stopped crying. He wiped his tears and said, "So, are you going to go with me then?"

"You already know the answer!" he shouted, and quickly left before he ended up yelling at him some more. Yukimura smiled happily, as Keiji came out behind the bush. Yukimura saw him and did two thumbs up to him. They walked to each other and did high-fives.

"You were great!" Keiji shouted, as Yukimura had a big smile.

At five-thirty, Keiji borrowed his mom's car and headed to Toyotomi's Spicy Buffet alone and got there in twenty minutes. He parked the car between two huge vans. From the mirror, he saw Yukimura's dad's car park in front of the buffet. Yukimura and Mitsunari came out and went inside the buffet, as Yukimura's dad took off. After Yukimura and Mitsunari went inside the buffet, Marshaquadee arrived. Keiji got out of his car and walked to her.

Meanwhile, Yukimura and Mitsunari sat down. Yukimura told Mitsunari that Keiji was going to come too and that he should be there any minute now. For some reason when Yukimura said that, Mitsunari had a bad feeling about it. In two minutes, Keiji came in with a tallass girl!

"Who the heck is she?" Mitsunari asked Yukimura. "Is she his girlfriend or what?" Yukimura shrugged his shoulders and looked down. "Tch. They sure do make a great couple, don't you think?" he said again.

Once again, Yukimura shrugged his shoulders. He felt very guilty inside. Then Keiji and Marshaquadee walked to them. Keiji sat in front of Yukimura and Marshaquadee sat in front of Mitsunari. Then they all made their way to get their food. When Mitsunari wasn't looking, Keiji quickly grabbed Yukimura.

"Let's go!" he whispered, as Yukimura nodded his head. Before they left, Yukimura quickly grabbed a spicy chicken thigh. Keiji laughed softly so Mitsunari wouldn't hear. Man, Yukimura was too funny! When they got to the exit door, Keiji quickly gave the cashier $60 and told them that it was for Mitsunari's table. He even told them to keep the change.

Outside, Keiji and Yukimura quickly got inside Keiji's mom's car. They turned on the radio and the song Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO began playing, as Keiji quickly drove off. They both laughed a lot, thinking how funny it was. They drove to the downtown plaza and parked. Then Keiji took out the cigarette that Marshaquadee gave him earlier. Yukimura's eyes quickly enlarged.

"What are you doing?" he asked, eating his chicken thigh.

"Oh Sanada. I'm just going to try this," Keiji told him. He also said that in life, you should experience as much as you could before you die. Yukimura thought that it was reasonable idea so he didn't object to Keiji smoking.

Keiji found a lighter in the car and lit the cigarette. Then he put it in his mouth and sipped it. It was hella nasty. He coughed a couple times and laughed.

"Are you okay?" Yukimura asked him. He told Yukimura that he was fine and sipped on it again. Pretty soon, he started acting weird.

All of a sudden, Yukimura got a text from Mitsunari. Yukimura read it and it said "Where the fuck did you two bitches go?"

Yukimura got scared. "Keiji, what should I write?" he asked, showing the text to Keiji. Keiji smiled and told him to ignore it. "Are you sure?" he asked again.

"Yeahhhh," Keiji said loudly. "It'll be fine, Sanada. I'm sure he's having a great time! And it's not good to bother someone while they're out on a date!"

Yukimura thought for a second. He listened to Keiji. Then Keiji told him that during their sleepover, he was going to play pranks on him with his metro phone, but decided not to, because Yukimura was his favorite friend. It touched Yukimura very much and he smiled.

"You're my favorite friend too," Yukimura replied. In a bit, Keiji decided to call Kanetsugu. It rang four times and he picked up.

"Hello," Kanetsugu said.

"Hey Kanetsugu," Keiji said smiling. "Do you think you can do something for Mitsunari?"

"Do what?" he asked.

"You see, Mitsunari is out on a date and needs a ride home. Do you think you can pick him up?" Keiji lied.

"Oh, sure. Why not? I just got out from work and it wouldn't hurt to drop him home," Kanetsugu said, amazed. "And who's his girlfriend? How come he never told me that he had one?"

"They just barely started dating," said Keiji, trying not to laugh. "It's their first date."

"Okay then. Where is he at?" Kanetsugu asked. Keiji told him that Mitsunari was at Toyotomi's Spicy Buffet and to pick him up at 8:00pm. Right now was 7:35pm. Keiji thanked him and then they hung up.

In five minutes, Keiji's phone rang. He looked at his phone and threw the cigarette outside the window. Mitsunari was calling him. Yukimura's eyes went huge again, as he had a big smile on his face.

"Watch this, Sanada," Keiji said, as he picked up and made a professional voice. "Hello. You've reached the voicemail of Keiji Maeda. I'm not available right now so please leave a message after the tone. Beep."

"Stupid bitch!" Mitsunari yelled. "I know that this isn't the voicemail! I'm not stupid! And why the fuck did you two shitheads fucken ditch me? Huh?"

They both snickered a lot. Then Keiji said, "Dude, chill. It was only just a joke."

"Well it's not fucken funny!" Mitsunari shouted. "Do you two know how fucken mad I am? And now I don't have a freaken ride home because both my parents are working and because you two fucken fags decided to ditch me!"

"Don't worry!" Keiji said to him. "Kanetsugu's on his way to pick you up right now."

"Why the hell did you freaken lie to her that I had a crush on her, huh? She was not cute at all!" he shouted again. Keiji laughed and laughed.

"It was funny!" he said to Mitsunari. "And I'm sorry okay?"

"Would you freaken like it if I did it to you?" he yelled.

Keiji laughed again. "No, but I would just laugh it out. It was only meant to be funny so just laugh. Okay?"

"No!" Mitsunari shouted. "When I freaken see you guys, I'm going to kick both your asses! And Yukimura, I know you can hear me too so you better be prepared because when I see you, your face is going to be different!" Then he hung up.

Keiji kept laughing and laughing but Yukimura didn't. He was scared now. He pictured himself getting beat by Mitsunari. He didn't want that to happen.


	10. Chapter 10 Yukimura's Excuse

Keiji gave Yukimura a good excuse so Mitsunari wouldn't kick his butt. Yukimura agreed that it was a great idea too. After that, Keiji dropped Yukimura off at home. When Keiji got home, he showered. Then he laid on his bed comfortably when Kanetsugu called him. He formed a big smile before he picked up.

_How I am so prepared to be lectured by honor boy,_ he thought, smiling.

"Hello," he answered.

"Keiji," Kanetsugu began. "Why did you do that to Mitsunari? You know that was not very nice."

Keiji laughed and said, "It was funny! Hahahah!"

"You know that he's very upset," Kanetsugu told him. "I just got off the phone with him. And why all of a sudden did you set him up? What did he do to you?"

Keiji thought for a bit and decided to tell Kanetsugu the truth. "Well, you see. Me and Sanada decided to do this, because when I first met the girl Marshaquadee, she had issues, just like Mitsunari did. So Yukimura came up with the idea that they would make a good couple, so I decided to set them up."

"Not a very honorable move, Keiji," Kanetsugu replied, as Keiji laughed. "You two owe him an apology."

"We did," replied Keiji. "Well, at least I did."

"No, Keiji," Kanetsugu told him. "You need to apologize to him face to face."

"Okay, I will," Keiji told him. "And did Mitsunari say anything?"

"He told me everything," Kanetsugu said to him. He began explaining everything that Mitsunari had told him.

*Flashback*

Mitsunari got some fried rice, chow mien, eggrolls, sushi, orange chicken, stir fry, and some barbequed meat. Then he made his way to their table. He began eating, as Marshaquadee came to the table and sat down. She smiled shyly, trying to make a cute face, but she didn't match at all. Mitsunari totally faked a smile back at her and quickly looked down. He ate one of his sushi. He thought to himself that where on Earth did Keiji and Yukimura go. He turned his head and tried to look for them, but he couldn't find them.

He thought about how Yukimura wanted him to go to the buffet so badly. Then he remembered Yukimura saying that Keiji was coming too. When Marshaquadee came in with Keiji, Yukimura looked scared and didn't even answer his questions. And now, both Keiji and Yukimura were gone!

_Oh hell no! They did not!_ He thought to himself, realizing that he had been set up with that Marshaquadee girl! _Those two fucken assholes!_

"So umm…What's up?" Marshaquadee asked him, smiling. He slowly turned to her. It was a very awkward moment, because Keiji did not even introduce them to each other.

"Nothing," he replied. He thought that Marshaquadee was an ugly humongous girl and that she was one of those girls that no matter how hard she tried to be cute, she would never be cute. She would only look scary if she tried to be cute.

"I'm Marshaquadee," she said, reaching to shake his hand.

"I'm Mitsunari," he said, shaking her hand.

"I know," she said, smiling again. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," Mitsunari said to her. Then he picked up his fork and ate an orange chicken. Marshaquadee did not even eat; she was smiling and looking at him the whole time and it started to scare him. He quickly took out his phone and texted Yukimura. He wrote, "Where the fuck did you two bitches go?"

He continued eating while Marshaquadee continued staring at him. He felt very uneasy now. Then, a waitress walked to them.

"Would you and your girlfriend like to try some of our new tea for only two dollars?" asked the waitress.

"She's not my girlfriend!" he shouted, as Marshaquadee stopped smiling. "And no thank you." He thought to himself that it was about time she had stopped smiling. The waitress apologized and walked off. Marshaquadee coughed three times and smiled at him again. He continued eating and all of a sudden, Marshaquadee got up and sat next to him. He felt very creeped out by her now. She pushed his hair back as he quickly scooted away from her.

She giggled very creepily and said, "I'm so sorry." Then she walked back to her seat across from him.

_What a freaken scaryass girl! _He thought to himself. He looked down to the floor and saw her foot. She wore a pink sandal and man, was her foot humongous! It was even bigger than his own foot!

He quickly took out his phone again but stupid Yukimura did not even text him back. Just then, Marshaquadee quickly grabbed his phone. He did not know what to do now. She took a very creepy picture of herself with his phone. She made devil eyes with a giant smile for him to see. It seriously scared the crap out of him!

"Can I please have my phone back?" he managed to ask her.

She smiled. "Only if you do something," she said. Mitsunari thought to himself that it better not be anything bad or disgusting.

"What," he asked her.

"Kiss me," she said, smiling again. Her smile was even scarier than the grudge lady! Mitsunari finally thought to himself that Keiji must've said something to her, that's why she's acting like that.

"Let me guess," he began. "Keiji said something to you about me, didn't he?"

She blinked a couple times and stopped smiling. "Yeah, why?"

Mitsunari shook his head no. "He told you that I liked you or something, huh?" She nodded her head, so he decided to tell her all about Keiji, since she had the rights to know about what kind of a fool and pranker he was.

"How did you know?" she asked, smiling again.

"You know that Keiji lies a lot. He always plays pranks on peoples," he told her. She was confused. "It might sound weird and stuff, but I think he freaken set us up."

"Why?" she asked.

"Cuz he's always like that," he replied. "He thinks it's freaken funny, but it's not."

"So, you don't like me then?" she asked him. Now Mitsunari felt kinda bad for her.

"Only as a friend," he said, as she looked down. She apologized for her behavior and gave him back his phone. Finally, she began eating, but remained quiet the entire time now. After they ate, the waitress told them that their food had already been paid for. Then Marshaquadee left, which left him all alone now. He didn't have a ride home, so he was really upset and decided to call and confront Keiji.

Ten minutes after the confrontation, Kanetsugu arrived with his silver Lamborghini. He honked at Mitsunari, as he came inside the car.

"How was your date? And who's your girlfriend?" Kanetsugu asked, smiling. Mitsunari turned angrily to Kanetsugu and took a deep breath.

"She's not my girlfriend!" he thundered, as Kanetsugu flinched and apologized.

*Present*

"Hahaha!" laughed Keiji, falling down onto his bed.

"It was not funny, Keiji!" Kanetsugu yelled. "You should be ashamed of yourself!"

"Oh man! I should've been there!" he shouted, still cracking up. He heard Kanetsugu saying, "Tsk, Tsk, Tsk," and laughed even more.

"Such scoundrel laughter, Keiji!" said Kanetsugu again. "If you don't behave yourself, the Great Bishamonten shall strike you down on behalf of the heavens!"

Keiji laughed even more now. "How you are such an honor boy! Hahahah!" he said.

"Goodnight Keiji," said Kanetsugu, hanging up. Then Keiji laughed himself to sleep and thought, _Man! What a day! _

Tomorrow Keiji woke up early. He packed and walked into the kitchen. He took out lots of junk food so he could take it to eat while boat riding at the beach. Then Kiyomasa called Keiji to bring his surfboard and his fishing pole so they could go fishing and surfing together. He agreed so he packed both the fishing pole and the surfboard. He also brought extra clothes, a towel, and a bucket to put the fish in. Pretty soon, Kiyomasa came to pick him up, using his dad's car. Then they picked up Yukimura and Masanori. Kiyomasa told Keiji that Kanetsugu picked Mitsunari up and that Sakon went with his parents.

Keiji turned to Yukimura and smiled, but Yukimura did not smile back. Instead, he looked down. They drove to a nearby gas station and waited for Kanetsugu and Sakon's parents to arrive so they could just follow each other to the beach. When they arrived, Sakon's parents led the way first. Then Kanetsugu followed them, while Kiyomasa drove after them.

"Dude, did you go on Facebook yesterday?" Kiyomasa asked Keiji, as Keiji smiled.

"No," he replied, chuckling. "Why?"

"Because Mitsunari posted up a status and I think he was referring to you or something," said Kiyomasa, making a U-Turn.

"Did you do something to him or what?" Masanori asked, smiling too.

"Oh man!" Keiji shouted, laughing. "It's because I set him up on a date with this girl named Marshaquadee! Hahahah!"

"You didn't!" said Kiyomasa, smiling. Then he began laughing.

"Marshaquadee who?" Masanori asked, having a huge smile. "Marshaquadee Meangwa?" Keiji nodded his head yes, as Masanori began laughing too.

"Her foot was bigger than Mitsunari's in both ways!" said Keiji laughing. He meant that Marshaquadee's foot was wider and longer than Mitsunari's, and when he said that, they all laughed, including Yukimura.

"That's so scary," said Yukimura, as they all laughed even more.

"Never date a girl who's foot is bigger and longer than yours," Keiji told them, laughing.

Pretty soon they got to the beach. Keiji was definitely ready to get his butt kicked by Mitsunari. He pictured it and thought that it was very funny, but Yukimura was scared though. As they got out all of their stuffs, Keiji told Yukimura to quickly do what he had told him to do yesterday so Mitsunari wouldn't kick his butt. Yukimura agreed and did so.

Keiji hummed and carried his things to the table under the shade where Sakon's parents were at. He turned all the way back to Yukimura. He was sitting down behind Kiyomasa's car, covering his face. He saw Kanetsugu walking to Yukimura.

Suddenly, someone gave him a hard knucklehead. He turned and saw Mitsunari. The pain ran through his head, but he laughed it out.

"Bitch," Mitsunari said, dogging him.

"I'm so sorry, Nari," Keiji replied, reaching to hug him. Mitsunari quickly pushed him away.

"Don't you ever set me up on a date without my permission ever again!" Mitsunari shouted, as Keiji laughed and laughed. "And you're lucky that Kanetsugu got me to change my mind to not kick your butt!"

"Then thank god for Kanetsugu," he shouted, laughing.

"And where the hell is Yukimura?" Mitsunari said, looking for him, as he spotted Yukimura behind Kiyomasa's dad's car. He walked angrily to Yukimura. Keiji quickly followed him, and by then, the other boys were already around Yukimura. To help Yukimura out, Keiji pretended to walk to Yukimura.

"Hey, what's the matter?" Keiji asked Yukimura. He had a sad face and quickly covered it. Keiji looked at Kanetsugu in a very confused way. "What happened to him?"

"He just got a text from his brother saying that his grandpa passed out and is in the hospital right now," Kiyomasa told Keiji. Keiji almost laughed but managed not to. He pretended to drop his jaw and turned to Yukimura. Yukimura was sobbing.

"Really?" Mitsunari said sarcastically. "Or are you just crying because you're scared that I'm going to teach you a lesson?"

"Mitsunari," said Kanetsugu, with an angry face. "Remember what I told you yesterday?"

"No," Mitsunari said, sarcastically again.

"You are only innocent until you take action," Kanetsugu told him, lifting his right finger up. Keiji almost laughed when he said that.

"Hah, whatever," replied Mitsunari. "And Yukimura, even if you're lying or not, I'm still going to give you this."

"Give me what," Yukimura asked, turning to him innocently. His eyes were red from crying and he looked so adorable. Mitsunari looked at Yukimura, getting ready to give him a big knucklehead, but he just didn't have the heart to do so. Yukimura blinked cutely for a couple times as Mitsunari rolled his eyes and walked off. As everybody left, Yukimura smiled cutely at Keiji, as Keiji gave him a two thumbs up.


	11. Chapter 11 Auzorru Beach

Sakon's parents began barbequing while the boys all gathered around the picnic table. It was a hot, breezy day; just perfect to go swimming, surfing, fishing, and boat riding. The beach was a beautiful light blue color. It got its color from a myth that took place long, long ago. Supposedly a blue dragon named Auzorru sacrificed his life so human beings could live and the baby blue color of the beach resembled the blue dragon watching over anyone who walked onto the beach. This beach was known as Auzorru Beach.

"I'm so hot, I think I'm going to strip," Kiyomasa said, smiling, as he took off his white shirt. He had a nice six pack body with sexy abs. "Man, look at all these baby!" he shouted, showing off his muscles and his body. Everyone laughed.

"Because I'm handsome, I will take off my shirt too," Yukimura said, as he took off his shirt. He smiled handsomely. He had a nice six pack too. Then Masanori and Sakon took off their shirts as well.

"Since everyone is stripping their shirts off, I should follow the bandwagon as well!" Keiji shouted, as he took off his shirt. He twirled it on his right finger three times and threw it wherever. It flew and hit Mitsunari's face.

"Bitch! What the hell is your problem?" he said, looking at Keiji madly.

Keiji laughed and said, "Oh shit! My bad!" Mitsunari threw Keiji's shirt back at him and rolled his eyes. He took his shirt off too.

"Oooh," said Masanori, laughing. "I see, you have packs yourself." Everyone laughed too, except for Kanetsugu. Instead, Kanetsugu smiled.

"It's an honor," Kanetsugu told them, as they laughed even more. Kanetsugu seriously didn't understand why it was so funny. In fact, every time when he said anything relating to honor, they would laugh.

"You are such an honor boy!" Keiji told him. "I mean, you never stop talking about honor and virtue and all that good stuff, you know?"

"Well, I have my freedom of speech," Kanetsugu told him. "I have the rights to talk about anything for as long as I want. Because…," He trailed off.

"Because what," Sakon asked, snickering.

"Because…This is the part of me that you're never gonna ever take away from me!" Kanetsugu shouted, as he began laughing. Everyone laughed after him, except for Mitsunari.

"You guys are so pathetic," Mitsunari told them. He rolled his eyes again and shook his head at them.

"Man, you gotta cool it sometimes, bro," Sakon told him. "Because every time when we're trying to build memories together, you always have to ruin it!"

"What exactly are you trying to say?" Mitsunari asked him.

"I'm saying that whenever we have fun, you never want to join us in our laugh," said Sakon. "And you should really join us, because it's fun."

"Yeah," said Yukimura. "It can sure help your anger cool-"

"Shut up or I'll kick your ass!" Mitsunari stormed, as Yukimura quickly got up and ran behind Keiji. Kiyomasa, Sakon, and Masanori laughed at Yukimura, while Keiji smiled, trying not to laugh. "That's what I thought!" finished Mitsunari.

"May the light show you your way out of your misery," said Kanetsugu, praying as he closed his eyes. Now everyone laughed at him, except for Mitsunari again.

"Are you fucking talking to me?" Mitsunari said to Kanetsugu. Kanetsugu quickly stopped praying and smiled.

"Hey, we should go fishing for a while," said Kiyomasa, as everyone agreed. They all grabbed their fishing poles, their hooks, and their coolers and buckets to put their fishes in. Yukimura brought a cup.

"Why the hell are you bringing a cup for, stupid?" questioned Mitsunari.

"You'll see," Yukimura replied. They walked to the fishing area where there weren't a lot of people. Then Keiji turned to Mitsunari and looked at his fishing pole. It was a huge fishing pole and it looked strong enough to handle a twenty pound fish! Keiji began laughing out of nowhere as the rest looked at him smiling.

"What's so funny?" Sakon asked him.

"Damn! Look at Mitsunari's fishing pole!" Keiji shouted, as they all looked at Mitsunari's fishing pole. They began cracking up.

"Shut the fuck up," Mitsunari told them, as they laughed even more. "And it's not mines. It's my dad's."

"It's so huuuuuge!" Yukimura shouted, laughing so much, as he took a step onto the water and began using his cup to catch little mini fishes.

"Man, shut up Yukimura!" Mitsunari shouted again. "Look at you! You only have a cup to catch baby fishes!" Everyone laughed when he said that. Suddenly, Mitsunari's fishing pole began moving a lot. He already got a fish! He quickly reeled his fishing pole as Yukimura walked to him and grabbed his fishing pole. "Let go!" Mitsunari shouted, as he and Yukimura began struggling to win the fishing pole from each other.

"No!" Yukimura shouted, pulling the fishing pole hard.

"Quit it! You're going to make the fish go away!" Mitsunari shouted, pulling the fishing pole too, as the rest looked at them laughing.

"You let go!" Yukimura shouted.

"Bitch! It's not yours!" Mitsunari shouted again.

"It's not your either!" Yukimura shouted.

"It's my dad's!" Mitsunari said.

"So?" Yukimura told him. "I just want a turn!"

"No! Go use your own!" Mitsunari yelled.

"No! I want to use yours!" Yukimura said, as Mitsunari pushed him.

"Let go!" Mitsunari said again, as Yukimura tackled him. The fishing pole fell to the ground. They both quickly got up and ran to it, only except Mitsunari got to it first. The fishing pole had stopped moving. "See what you fucken did? Now the fish got away!" he yelled to Yukimura. Yukimura shrugged his shoulders as he walked over to Keiji. "Little bitch," Mitsunari said, rolling his eyes and throwing his fishing pole far out into the water to catch a different fish.

"Mitsunari is mean," Yukimura said to Keiji. "I only wanted a turn and he didn't let."

Keiji laughed. "Oh, you know, how Mitsunari doesn't like to share," he responded, throwing his fishing pole into the water. Yukimura picked up his fishing pole from the ground and fixed it. Then he threw his onto the water too. In a couple minutes, Kiyomasa's fishing pole was moving.

"Oh shit! I think I got one," Kiyomasa shouted, reeling his fishing pole. He caught a fish that was about eight pounds! It was a big fish and into the cooler it went. In a bit, Sakon and Masanori caught a fish too.

"Man, when am I going to catch a fish," Keiji said, laughing. Then he thought to himself, _I wonder if Kanetsugu caught any fish yet!_ He turned and walked to Kanetsugu. His eyes went wide as he looked into Kanetsugu's cooler! Kanetsugu had already caught five fishes! "Damn Kanetsugu! You already caught five fishes and I haven't even caught one yet!" Keiji shouted.

"You just got to believe in yourself and have hope," Kanetsugu told him. Keiji laughed and laughed.

"Alright," Keiji replied. He walked back to his fishing pole and started thinking, _I will catch a fish, for I am Keiji Maeda, the great warrior! I shall catch any fish that dare comes around my fishing pole! And nothing can stop me from doing that! _All of a sudden, his fishing pole started moving like crazy! Happiness ran through his body as he quickly reeled in his fishing pole. "Guys! Guys! I think I just caught one!" he shouted happily. As he reeled in his fishing pole, out popped a big fish!

"Wow!" shouted Yukimura, smiling. "That's a big fish!"

"I know right?" Keiji said to him. "You just gotta have honor within yourself, Sanada."

"Hahahah," laughed Yukimura. Keiji was happy that he had finally caught a fish. In an hour and thirty minutes, he caught ten fishes total. Kiyomasa caught eight fishes, Masanori caught seven fishes, Kanetsugu caught eighteen fishes, Mitsunari caught twelve fishes, Sakon caught nine fishes, and Yukimura caught two fishes along with six little mini fishes. In the end, they all released the fishes and walked back to the picnic table.

They layed down on a carpet that they had set up earlier and ate some snacks and hot dogs. Kiyomasa and Sakon put their shades on and smiled at every girl who walked by that they thought was hot. Kanetsugu drank some Capri Sun while lying down. Yukimura ate some chocolate chip cookies with m&m's. Mitsunari ate some Hot Cheetos, and Keiji sat down drinking soda, chilling by himself. Then a very pretty girl in a pink bikini walked past them.

"Daaamn, she's hella fine," Kiyomasa said, checking her out. Sakon whistled at her and she turned to them. Kiyomasa and Sakon smiled at her as she smiled back. "Hey, what's your name?" Kiyomasa asked her.

"Azusa," she replied, smiling back at Kiyomasa. She blushed and quickly walked off.

"Dude, I think she likes you," Masanori told Kiyomasa.

"You think so?" Kiyomasa replied, smiling.

"No," laughed Masanori. "I know it."

"You two are fucking perverts," Mitsunari said to Kiyomasa and Sakon. They both laughed and didn't argue with that.

"Do you want us to teach you how to become a perv too?" Sakon said, as everybody burst out laughing except for Mitsunari.

"Fuck you," Mitsunari told him.

"Oh, I haven't even taught you how to become a perv yet, and now you want me to teach you how to fuck?" Sakon said again, as they laughed more. Mitsunari walked madly to Sakon.

"Stop it, you two!" Kanetsugu shouted, going in the middle of them two. "We're supposed to be having fun! Not arguing!" Mitsunari walked back to his seat and sat down, mugging Sakon. Keiji began to get bored so he thought to himself that they should go swimming.

"Hey, let's go swimming," Keiji told them. They agreed and walked together to the beach. They decided to jump down from the bridge because they loved diving.

"Imagine Mitsunari diving down and all of a sudden, the water disappears," joked Masanori, as they laughed.

"You want me to kick your ass?" Mitsunari replied, as Masanori shook his head no.

"Well, who's going first?" Sakon asked them. Kiyomasa raised his hand.

"I will," he told them. "Watch and learn, boys." He climbed on the bridge and jumped into the water. He disappeared for eight seconds and popped his head out halfway in between the bridge and the shore. He smiled at them and continued swimming to shore.

"Who's next?" Masanori asked. Sakon volunteered and dived in next. He swam all the way to shore. Then Masanori went in too. He swam to Kiyomasa and Sakon.

"Come on!" Masanori shouted to the rest of the boys.

"Move aside!" Keiji yelled, climbing on the bridge. He had a big smile. "Ka-BOOM!" he shouted, diving into the water. The water splashed heavily and it wet Yukimura, Mitsunari, and Kanetsugu. It felt very refreshing and good, as Keiji swam smoothly in the water.

"Wait for me!" Yukimura shouted, diving in the water. He swam very fast and caught up to Keiji. Then Mitsunari and Kanetsugu looked at each other. They both did not want to dive in.

"Come on, Nari!" shouted Masanori, as Mitsunari nodded his head no.

"Hop in!" Keiji shouted to Kanetsugu. He also nodded his head no.

_Fine,_ thought Keiji. _If they don't want to go in, I'll make them go in!_ He thought of a little idea and told Yukimura, Sakon, Masanori, and Kiyomasa. They laughed. Keiji and Yukimura walked to the left side of the bridge, while Kiyomasa, Sakon, and Masanori walked to the right side of the bridge. Then they walked and walked until they reached Kanetsugu and Mitsunari.

"Alright," Keiji began, putting his hands on his hip. "You two better dive into the water."

"No," said Kanetsugu. "It's against the law to be diving into the water from a bridge."

"Tch, so?" replied Keiji, laughing.

"No, Keiji," Kanetsugu said, as he slowly walked away. He tried to be sneaky, but Keiji knew that he was trying to get away.

"Look, Honor boy. We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way. Your choice," finished Keiji. He formed a very big smile on his face to let him know that if he didn't dive into the water, he would do something bad to him.

Kanetsugu took a deep breath. "May the Lord please forgive me," he said, closing his eyes, and placing his right hand over his heart, as everyone laughed. Then he climbed onto the bridge. "Are you coming with me?" he asked Mitsunari.

"I'll go after you," Mitsunari replied. Then Kanetsugu took one more deep breath and dived in. After the loud splash sound, Mitsunari quickly ran off.

"Hey!" shouted Yukimura, pointing to Mitsunari. "He's getting away!" The other boys looked and laughed.

"Time to go after him!" Keiji shouted, as he began running. The rest ran after him. They ran super-fast and almost caught up to Mitsunari. Mitsunari turned back and saw how close they were. He ran even faster than before.

"Stop running!" shouted a little girl, looking at Keiji. She held onto the bridge tightly and looked scared, because the bridge was shaking. "You're going to cause an earthquake!" Keiji laughed and laughed. He stopped running as the rest stopped too, but Mitsunari ran off the bridge. He ran all the way back to the picnic table.

Keiji and the rest decided that they would get back at Mitsunari in a bit. They walked to the shore to get Kanetsugu. Kanetsugu asked them why they were running and Keiji told them that Mitsunari chickened out and ran away before they forced him to dive off the bridge.

"You guys should leave him alone," Kanetsugu told them. "Don't force him to do something that he doesn't want to do."

"We will force him!" Keiji shouted, laughing. "He must join the fun with us!"

"Yeah!" shouted Yukimura. They walked all the way back to the picnic table and saw Mitsunari eating a hot dog. They laughed at him as he told them to shut up. Then Sakon came up with an idea.

"We should go surf!" Sakon said, smiling. Kiyomasa said that it was a perfect time to go surfing so he agreed to it. Keiji also agreed too. Of all of them, only Keiji, Kiyomasa, Sakon, and Yukimura liked to surf. The four grabbed their surf boards and headed to the beach again. The rest quickly followed.

"I'll video tape you guys," Masanori said, walking after them. Keiji and Yukimura both had red surf boards, while Kiyomasa had a grey surf board, and Sakon had a white surf board. When they reached the water, Keiji looked for a big wave to surf on. He spotted one and ran into the water. He quickly put his surf board down, as he began surfing on the wave.

"Whoo! Look at me!" he shouted, surfing happily. He was taking on a big wave and was able to handle it. Yukimura smiled handsomely as he ran into the water and jumped on his surf board too. He and Keiji began surfing together.

"Man! This is so fun!" Yukimura shouted, smiling. "Come on, Kiyomasa and Sakon! Let's rock the waves!" Kiyomasa and Sakon looked at each other and ran to the water and quickly jumped on their surf boards. They surfed in different waves.

A lot of girls were checking them out. As Keiji surfed, he saw many hot girls in bikinis and shorts that were looking at him. Some of them were cute, while the rest were beautiful and sexy.

_What hot mama's, _he thought to himself. He surfed wave to wave. In a bit, they all got into the same wave. Keiji led the way, while Yukimura, Kiyomasa, and Sakon followed him. The girls screamed and cheered for them. The wave smoothly led them back to shore. Their surf was a total success.

"Man, that was hot!" Keiji shouted, smiling. He threw his surf board onto the sand and looked at everyone except for Mitsunari. He gave them all a sneaky smile, as they received his message. The rest threw their surf boards to the sand, while Masanori gave Kanetsugu the camera. Kanetsugu shook his head at them. Mitsunari looked up and saw them looking at him. He knew that he was about to be tossed into the water, so he quickly ran, but Kiyomasa and Sakon grabbed him first.

"Let me go!" he shouted, struggling to get free. Then Keiji, Yukimura, and Masanori grabbed him too.

"No!" shouted Yukimura, giggling. "We all went, so it's your turn!" They all laughed, as they carried Mitsunari to the water.

"Let me go!" he shouted again, as they all laughed. So many people were looking at them.

"We could've done this the easy way," Keiji told him, trying to make Mitsunari regret not diving into the water when they told him to. "But you chose us to throw you into the water instead of doing it yourself."

"So?" he shouted, still struggling to break free. It was no use, because his friends held him tightly. Then they began a countdown from ten to one. When they reached one, they would throw Mitsunari into the water.

They began counting already. "Six, five, four, three, two, one!" they shouted, as they threw Mitsunari into the water. He screamed as he splashed into the water. He was all soaked now. He was embarrassed because they actually threw him into the water in front of everyone!

"Stupid bitches!" he shouted, swimming back to shore, as Keiji and his friends laughed and laughed. Kanetsugu only smiled.


	12. Chapter 12 A Day At School

After tossing Mitsunari into the beach, they quickly ran all the way back to the picnic table and decided to eat hot dogs, just like what Mitsunari did earlier. They laughed and laughed, as Mitsunari approached them.

"Hello," said Masanori, handing him a hot dog. "Have a hot dog, and don't run away from us again." They all laughed, as Mitsunari refused the hot dog. He sat down and touched his phone. He began texting someone.

"Who are you texting?" Keiji asked him, smiling. "Are you texting Ginchiyo?"

"No!" he quickly shouted, putting his phone away. Mitsunari and Ginchiyo had known each other since middle school. They always hit each other and called each other names whenever they saw each other. They acted like they didn't care about each other, but they really did. Well, at least that's how it seemed like to everyone else. "Why on earth would I text that manly girl?"

"Cuz you like her," Yukimura answered. "That's why you were so angry yesterday, right? You were angry because your date wasn't Ginchiyo!"

"Oooh," said Keiji, laughing. The rest cracked up, as Mitsunari told Yukimura to shut up.

"You think you're very cute and shit, when really, you're so annoying! And you're a crybaby too!" Mitsunari told Yukimura. Yukimura shrugged his shoulder.

"I know I'm not cute," he said. "I'm handsome," he told them, and smiled. Mitsunari dogged him and looked away.

In a while, they played poker, and Kanetsugu kept winning. Every round they played, he always won, no matter how many times they switch positions. Then they played 21, but still, Kanetsugu won. They played the game where you looked for pairs and Kanetsugu found the most pairs and won again. All the other boys were tired of losing and wanted to do something else.

"Let's just walk around the bridge," suggested Kanetsugu. They agreed so they went. They all made it clear that they would not throw anyone into the water anymore. They were done swimming for the day and now all they needed to do was kill time, while Sakon's parents finished barbequing so they could ride the boat and enjoy their dinner.

They began walking on the bridge again. They checked out some good looking girls. Masanori came up with an idea that they should go hit on some girls, since it was kind of boring. Once again, they agreed, except for Mitsunari. He said that he would be right over there by the picnic table if they needed him, because he was going to text mean things to Ginchiyo.

Kiyomasa and Sakon walked to a group of girls. The girl, Azusa, was one of the girls. They began chit-chatting. Masanori and Kanetsugu walked on the bridge and talked to some girls wearing skirts. Keiji and Yukimura walked around the sand, looking for pretty girls to talk to. Instead of going to talk to them, two girls walked to them and smiled. One of the girls had brown hair and brown eyes. The other had black Chinese bang hair. They were both very pretty.

"Hi," said the brown haired girl, smiling at them.

"Hey," they replied.

"My names Hushii," she said to them. "And this is my cousin, Ayu," she said, referring to the black haired girl.

"Nice to meet you, Hushii and Ayu," Keiji said, smiling. "I'm Keiji Maeda."

"And I'm Yukimura Sanada," Yukimura told them. They all shook hands.

"We saw you guys surfing earlier," began Hushii. "We were going to come and talk to you guys, but you guys left," she replied, blushing.

"You guys were awesome," Ayu said, smiling.

"Thanks," Keiji and Yukimura replied. They talked and talked about themselves. Hushii's last name was Akayashine. She was a junior at Japan High School. She was an only child and she liked to come to the beach often. Ayu's last name was Hashiba. She was the niece of their assistant principal, Hideyoshi Hashiba, from Ancient High School. She was a junior, just like Hushii. In a bit, Hushii and Ayu had to go, so they all gave their Facebook to each other, but Keiji told them that he didn't go on a lot because he got way too many notifications every time he logged on.

After that, Keiji and Yukimura met up with the other boys and went back to where Sakon's parents were barbequing. They finished barbequing and started bringing their things to the boat. When they put all their stuffs into the boat, Sakon's dad started driving it. It felt so good because the wind slowly blew on them, and it wasn't so hot. As they rode the boat, they enjoyed their dinner. They had rice, ribs, sausage, stake, and chicken thighs. Pretty soon, the sun was setting, so they got off the boat and carried their things into their cars and drove home. Keiji had such a fun day at Auzorru Beach today.

On Monday, Keiji woke up and got ready to go to school. As he walked to school, he saw the new kid, Hanzo Hattori, climbing a tree. Suddenly, he swung a ninja hook and it wrapped around a tree that was fifty feet away. Then he swung and did many flips and landed on the tree that he had wrapped his ninja hook on. He looked at Keiji.

"Hey! Hanzo, right?" Keiji asked him. He was amazed at what Hanzo just did.

Hanzo stood up on the tree and crossed his arms. "What do you think?" he replied. Keiji talked to him and asked how he did that. Hanzo said that when he was still in Japan, he was part of a secret agent called, Custody of the Underground Ninjitsu Alliance. In that alliance, you had to pledge that you would only use your skills for self-defense, not for evil. Only those who had ninja skills were able to be in that alliance. "I was the best of the best, besides my master," Hanzo told Keiji. "I always used my skills for good, but now, as you can see, I am no longer a member of Custody of the Underground Ninjitsu Alliance. I shall now use my skills as I desire.." he finished. Keiji turned away and laughed.

"Are you going to harm the innocent?" Keiji asked, laughing, turning back to Hanzo, only except he wasn't there anymore. He had disappeared! Keiji thought that he was a strange kid with magical powers. He wanted to know how Hanzo did that, but for the meantime, he continued walking to school. Right when he reached school, the bell rang so he didn't have time to see his friends. He walked to his first period class, which was History of Economics. Today they had to take notes on how money flowed.

"Aww, man!" Keiji shouted, taking his binder out from his backpack. He opened it and realized that he was out of paper. He hated taking notes because it was so boring and long. Sometimes he would even leave out some important information. "How I hate taking notes!" he exclaimed, looking around to see if anyone had extra paper. The first person he knew that had extra paper was Nene. She sat to the left and up one seat in front of Keiji. "Ey yo, Nene! Can you lend me two pieces of paper?" he asked her. She took out a pack of paper from her backpack and gave it to him. She looked at him kinda madly. "What?" Keiji asked her.

"You better not lie to me about what you said last time!" she told him. "Because if you do, I will never help you again." Keiji thought for a bit to see what she was talking about. He realized she was talking about that one time when he lied to her that she had leaked. He began laughing and apologized.

"I only did it because you're a smart person and you could probably find out whenever I'm up to no good," he told her. She shook her head at him as they began taking notes. It was so boring for Keiji that he fell asleep. It only seemed like ten minutes when the bell rang. He quickly woke up and shoved everything in his backpack and left the class.

In his second period class, which was Geometry, they were learning about the Pythagorean Theory. All Keiji understood about that theory was that A square plus B square was equaled to C square. He had taken that class two times already and failed it; one time in his sophomore year and one time in his junior year. This was his third time taking that class and right now he had a D+ in that class. He must pass that class with a C or higher, or else he would not be graduating.

When the bell rang, he walked to his Politic class. Today the teacher gave them assigned partners and they had to come up with a good tactic for battle. Keiji was partners with Musashi Miyamoto and Motochika Chosokabe. They put their desks together and began thinking. Suddenly, one popped into Keiji's mind.

"How about Tactic: Hit and Run?" Keiji told them. Musashi looked confused.

"Why would you want to hit and run?" Musashi asked him. "That just proves what a fool you are for running away."

"Yeah," said Motochika.

"I meant as in killing time, you know?" Keiji began explaining. "You hit your enemy and pretend to run around and kill time, because…Let's just say that a King needed to escape and the enemy was near. All you have to do is distract them so the King would get away," he finished. Musashi and Motochika looked at each other and shook their heads no. They all laughed.

"Let's think of a better one," Musashi said. Then another one popped into Keiji's mind, as he began laughing.

"Then how about Tactic: Fart Gas?" Keiji said, laughing. The other two laughed and shook their heads no. "Wait! Let me explain first!" Keiji said to them.

"Are you supposed to like, fart or something whenever the enemy comes near or what?" Motochika asked him, smiling.

"No, even better," Keiji told him. "You keep a jar with you, and whenever you need to fart, just open the jar and fart in it, and whenever the enemy comes, just shove the jar up their face so they can smell your gas!" he said, cracking up.

"Ugh," Musashi said, laughing. "That's hella disgusting!"

"Sick," Motochika said, laughing too. Another tactic popped into Keiji's mind.

"Then how about this," Keiji said, changing his tone into a professional voice. "Tactic: Chase and Piss." Musashi and Motochika began laughing again.

"How is that supposed to work?" Musashi asked.

"When the enemy nears, you quickly show them your penis," Keiji said to them. They all cracked up again.

"Dude, what if the enemy like, freaken cuts your balls off?" Motochika asked, laughing.

"No," Keiji told him. "When the enemy gets close enough, you simply piss on them and they will eventually move away, and when they do, go closer and piss again."

"What if you run out of piss?" Musashi asked, laughing. Keiji thought for a bit.

"Hmmmn," Keiji began. "You got a good point there. If you run out of piss, then you either fight them, or you're dead meat."

"How about this one," Musashi said. "Tactic: Individual Training. You personally train all your troops."

"That's going to take too long," Motochika said to him. "Especially if you're going to have thousands of troops."

"Mhm," Keiji replied. They all thought about some more tactics.

"What do you guys think of this one," Motochika asked them. "Tactic: Bomb Unit. You hire a group of bomb dealers to shoot bombs at the enemy."

"That's a pretty good one," Musashi replied. "We can add that to the maybe list." Keiji thought and thought and finally, another one popped into his mind.

"What about this one. Tactic: Chase Creepily," Keiji told them. They all laughed again. "When the enemy comes near, you pick your ass and show it to them. They will have a disgusted face, and when they show their disgusted face, you run and chase creepily after them, showing them your finger," he said, laughing so much. They kept laughing and laughing, and before they knew it, the bell rang for break. The teacher told them that if they didn't finish, they would have to finish it at home. Musashi decided to take the paper home and work on it later.

As Keiji walked to his friends, he saw Mitsunari quickly chasing Yukimura. Yukimura saw him and quickly ran to him.

"Keiji, help!" Yukimura shouted, running behind him. "Nari's going to kick my butt!" Keiji laughed and stopped Mitsunari from running after Yukimura.

"What's going on?" Keiji asked them two. Yukimura told Keiji that he saw a picture of Ginchiyo in Mitsunari's phone and quickly grabbed it. He ran and showed the picture to everyone; that's why Mitsunari was running after him.

"He's keeps denying that he doesn't like her!" Yukimura shouted. "But he does!"

"I don't fucken like her, so give me back my phone, you little bitch!" Mitsunari yelled, trying to get past Keiji.

"Yes you do!" Yukimura shouted, quickly making a run to Kiyomasa. He quickly gave the phone to Kiyomasa and ran to the bathroom. Mitsunari walked to Kiyomasa and snatched his phone away.

"That stupid little asshole thinks that I can't enter the boy's bathroom. What a dumbass," Mitsunari told them. The bell rang as Yukimura came out of the bathroom. He walked to them and they began walking to their Martial Arts class. Yukimura got a knucklehead from Mitsunari.

They went into their locker room and switched into their armors. Then they got their weapon and walked outside. They spread out and began warming up. Musashi had martial arts that period too. Keiji watched him handle his sword. He was really fast and good at it. Then Musashi turned and saw Ranmaru.

"Isn't that sword a little large for you?" he asked, taunting Ranmaru. "Don't they make it in kiddie sizes?" Everyone laughed at that comment.

"Do not attempt to belittle me until after we have fought," replied Ranmaru.

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" shouted Masamune Date. Everyone one else was shouting that too, and before Keiji knew it, he was shouting it also. Musashi and Ranmaru got ready to fight. Everyone formed a huge circle around them.


	13. Chapter 13 A Day At School Part 2

Ranmaru made the first strike. He ran and swung his sword at Musashi, but Musashi ducked and kicked Ranmaru on the butt. Ranmaru almost fell, but managed to keep himself up. Everyone laughed at him, and surprisingly, Mitsunari laughed with them too.

Mitsunari turned to Yukimura and said, "You see that? That's going to be me and you one day." Yukimura gasped and stopped laughing, but when Musashi swung his sword at Ranmaru and Ranmaru quickly ducked and gave Musashi a knucklehead, Yukimura laughed again.

Musashi and Ranmaru began fighting seriously now. They dodged, swung, and blocked each other's attacks. Everyone was still shouting, "Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" but Keiji said it the loudest. He enjoyed watching them fight, until a voice caused everyone to freeze.

"What is the meaning of this?" yelled the Martial Arts teacher, Tadakatsu Honda. Everyone remained silent. Tadakatsu turned angrily to Keiji and said, "You better tell me exactly what's going on here."

_Uh-oh_, Keiji thought to himself. He tried hard not to laugh. "Umm…They were fighting," Keiji said, smiling.

"Do you think that watching people fight is very funny?" stormed Tadakatsu. Keiji nodded his head yes at first, but quickly stopped and shook his head no. "Alright. That's it, Keiji," Tadakatsu said, taking out the time out slips.

"Why me?" Keiji shouted, laughing. "I wasn't even the one who was fighting!"

"But you were the one who encouraged them to fight!" Tadakatsu replied angrily. "Don't you know that fighting with these weapons can seriously hurt someone?"

"But isn't this class what fighting is all about?" Keiji asked, laughing. He thought it was funny how Tadakatsu said that, because if they weren't allowed to fight, then how come everyone got to have weapons?

"Yes," replied Tadakatsu. "But you shall never fight without my permission!"

Keiji snickered. "Well then, in that case, can they fight?"

Tadakatsu smiled. "A very thoughtful idea," he said, smiling. Then his expression suddenly changed. "No!" he yelled, as Keiji flinched.

"So umm," Keiji began, "why am I the only one who gets in trouble? Masamune was the first one who told them to fight," he finished.

"What do you mean Masamune?" Tadakatsu replied. "He is such an innocent kid and will never do such a thing! And he's not even here today!"

Keiji looked at the open field and saw Masamune running away. He was already far away. No wonder Tadakatsu said that he wasn't here today. He took off because he did not want to get in trouble. Keiji laughed at Tadakatsu's quote about Masamune being innocent. Tadakatsu filled out the time out slip and gave it to Keiji. He had to go to the time out room for ten minutes. Keiji thought it was very funny, so he skipped happily to the time out room, wearing his armor.

When he got inside the room, he saw Motochika, Goemon, and Yoshimoto putting their heads down. He accidently laughed out of nowhere and the teacher in that room told him to be quiet. He walked to a desk and sat down. He poked one eye at Motochika, and Motochika did the same. They both laughed at each other, and the teacher yelled at them both. As Keiji kept his head down, he smiled very big.

In ten minutes, they all got released. Keiji walked to Motochika and asked him what he did that caused him to be in time out. He said that his teacher farted and he couldn't stop laughing, so the teacher sent him to the time out room for fifteen minutes. Keiji laughed and told him that he was chanting, "Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" and got sent to time out for ten minutes. Motochika laughed at him too. Then they walked to their class.

When Keiji got to the Martial Arts field, everyone was jogging around. Tadakatsu told him to take three laps around the field, and he did so. Everyone else finished running and waited for him.

After he finished his three laps, they all had to get on their numbers. Their number was greatly spreaded out so they wouldn't hurt anyone around them.

"We will do our daily practice drills!" shouted Tadakatsu. "Get in your stance!" The students got posed to fight. "Charge attack!" he shouted, as the students swung their weapons out in front of them. They had to shout, "Ahh!" each time they made a move. "Defense!" Tadakatsu shouted, as the students posed to defend themselves.

"Ahh," the students shouted.

"Dodge!" Tadakatsu said, as the students jumped and backed up.

"Ahh," they shouted again. Keiji always laughed whenever they had to do the dodge routine, because he knew that all the guy's thingy jiggled whenever they jumped. He kept laughing, but Tadakatsu didn't care.

"Roll!" demanded Tadakatsu, as the students shouted and somersaulted. As Keiji rolled, he farted from start to finish. Tadakatsu quickly turned to the laughing blonde guy and shook his head. All the students laughed and laughed. Kiyomasa, Sakon, and Masanori layed down and cracked up.

"Man that felt good!" Keiji yelled, laughing.

"Knock it off now!" stormed Tadakatsu. Everyone tried hard not to laugh. They continued their training drills and pretty soon, the bell rang.

Keiji walked with Kiyomasa and Yukimura to their English class. They sat down on their seats and talked about how fun it was to mess with Mitsunari. In the middle of talking, Kaihime came to class. Keiji and his friends quickly stopped talking.

"Eww Kaihime!" Keiji shouted, as she flinched. Keiji began cracking up, because it was so fun to mess with her.

"What the hell, Keiji?" she exclaimed, laughing. She walked to him, as he quickly got up and walked away. He knew that she was going to slap his arm.

"Where's my hug?" Kiyomasa asked her, smiling.

"Yeah," said Yukimura. Kaihime quickly hugged them and walked to Keiji. She smacked his arm. Keiji laughed and gave her a hug. She hugged him back too. In a minute, the bell rang so they went to their seats.

Today they had to be quiet and work on their vocabulary terms. Keiji did not feel like doing it so he took out a piece of gum and chewed it. In the end, he ended up copying from Kiyomasa. When the bell rang, it was time for lunch.

Keiji and his friends decided that they wanted to eat in the cafeteria today. The school's cafeteria was like a buffet. They can eat as much as they want until the bell rings, but the thing was that if you were in the middle or upper class, you had to pay $10 to eat. Anyone who was from the lower class got to eat for free. It was too bad for them that they were from the upper class, but oh well.

Today the cafeteria had Asian food. Keiji got chow mien, fried rice, eggrolls, orange chicken, and stir fry. They all raced to see who could eat the most plates. Kanetsugu ate two plates, Mitsunari and Yukimura ate three plates, Masanori, Kiyomasa, and Sakon ate four plates, and Keiji ate six plates. He was so full from eating.

"I'm sooooo full!" he shouted, looking at Kanetsugu's glass of water. He was so thirsty, but he ran out of water, and was about to take Kanetsugu's water. Kanetsugu already knew that his friend was going to take his water any minute now, so he gave it to him first. "Thanks!" Keiji shouted, taking the water and drinking it as fast as he could. Boy did he feel so much better.

After they ate, they went to the quad, except for Kanetsugu. Kanetsugu went to the bathroom and would come to them in a bit. Keiji took out his IPhone and started to play some music.

"Hey, put on Young, Wild, and Free by Wiz Khalifa," said Yukimura. Keiji agreed, so he played the song. He and Yukimura were racing against Kiyomasa and Sakon to see who could sing the loudest. They sang the chorus really loud.

"So what we get drunk! So what we smoke weed! We're just havin fun! We don't care who sees!" they all shouted. "So what we go out! That's how it's supposed to be! Living young, and wild, and free!" After singing the chorus, they all laughed and waited for the chorus to come again. "So what we get drunk! So what we smoke weed! We're just havin fun! We don't care who sees! So what we go out! That's how it's supposed to be! Living young, and wild, and free!" Before they knew it, a security guard came to them.

"What do you kids think you're singing?" said the security guard.

Keiji quickly responded. "I think we're singing Young, Wild, and Free by Wiz Khalifa," he said, holding up his right finger. Then he began laughing, as his friends smiled.

"You guys are not allowed to be singing that song at school," replied the security guard. "And you guys have better yet follow me right now."

"Um, why?" Keiji responded.

"Since you guys really don't care about your lives," said the security guard, "you guys will be a part of the random drug test."

Keiji looked at his friends, giving them the 'what the hell?' look. Then he laughed. "We were just singing the song! It's not like we actually do it," he said to the security guard, although he had tried it that one time when Marshaquadee gave him the cigarette.

"Be quiet and follow me," the security guard said, walking off. They all shrugged their shoulders and followed him all the way to the office. Even Mitsunari and Masanori had to go too. There were about twenty five students in the there, who were a part of the random drug test.

"Gee, I wonder how many of these students came up positive," Keiji said to his friends, as the security guard 'shhhed' him. Keiji listened to some of the office people talk, and he overheard one of them saying that Goemon came up positive. He saw one of the teacher take Goemon into a room. He already knew that Goemon did drugs ever since their freshmen year, so of course Goemon would come out positive on the random drug test. The security guard told them to sit down on a bench until it was their turn to pee in the cup, but he took Keiji into the principal's office.

"Aww man!" Keiji began. "Why me only? I wasn't the only one who was singing!"

"You sang it the loudest," replied the security guard. Keiji shook his head at the security guard. Almost every time when he and his friends did something, he was the only one who got in trouble for it.


	14. Chapter 14 A Day At School Part 3

Keiji had to wait in the principal's office for five minutes until Principal Takeda came in. He wanted to say something nice so that Principal Takeda wouldn't be as strict. "Hello Principal Takeda," he said to him, as Principal Takeda nodded his head. "How are you doing today?"

"I'm doing good," replied Principal Takeda. "And you?"

"I've been doing good too," he responded, shaking Principal Takeda's hand. They talked for a little bit until Principal Takeda became serious.

"So why were you singing an inappropriate song, Keiji?" Principal Takeda asked. Keiji told him that he and his friends were only singing it for fun, because they were bored. Principal Takeda told Keiji not to sing it as long as he was on campus, because some teachers and security guards may take those kinds of things seriously, and Keiji agreed not to sing it on campus anymore. Since the bell was going to ring, Principal Takeda let Keiji and his friends out of the office.

Right when they came out of the office, they saw Kanetsugu. Kanetsugu asked them what they were doing in the office and they told him that they were singing 'Young, Wild, and Free' really loud, and were taken to be a part of the drug test, but were saved by Principal Takeda. As usual, Kanetsugu shook his head at them as they laughed.

In Keiji's Culinary Arts Class, they had to make a pizza. Ranmaru prepared the dough, Kaihime applied the sauce on the dough, Kunoichi applied the cheese, and Keiji put the toppings on, which were pepperoni, sausage, onion, olives, and bell peppers. Then they put it in the stove and talked, while the pizza cooked.

"So did you get in trouble when you kinda like..fought Musashi?" Keiji asked Ranmaru, laughing.

Ranmaru nodded his head no. "No, but next time he tries to mess with me, I will give it my all," he responded, as Keiji laughed even more. "I'm serious."

Keiji thought to himself that Ranmaru was such a strict girl. He meant 'such a strict boy', and for that, he laughed more than ever.

"Shut up, Keiji!" Kaihime shouted, smacking his arm. "It's not even funny!"

Keiji quickly stopped laughing and pretended to be mad. "Sssss!" he said, rubbing his arm. Then he made an enraged face. "Why'd you fucking do that for you little skankass bitch fucken wanna be sexy! Little motherfucking hoe big headed dumb ugly white washed bonyass bitch! Asshole much?" he yelled, smacking her head.

She laughed so much and smacked him back. "You're the bitch!" she shouted, laughing. "Don't try to cuss me out, shoot! I'll kick your ass!"

"Bite me!" Keiji stormed opening and closing his mouth real sharp, as if he took a big bite of something. "Like the others will stand a chance!"

After he said that, he bursted out laughing so much, and so did Kaihime, Kunoichi, and Ranmaru.

"Stupid," Kaihime shouted, shaking her head at him, and at the same time, laughing. They enjoyed their laugh until their pizza was ready. Keiji took out a knife from the drawer and walked to them. He thought of a stupid, funny idea.

"Hi, I'm Chucky! Wanna play!" he shouted to Kaihime, holding the knife up in his right hand. Kaihime screamed and kicked him on the thigh. He laughed for three seconds and quickly changed his expression. "Sssss!" he said, rubbing his thighs. "Don't make me cuss you out again, you ugly duckling!"

She laughed at him and again, they all laughed. Keiji cut their pizza into eight slices and they each took two. It was so good and soft, but too bad Keiji was still full from the Asian food earlier. He only took three bites of his pizza and saved the rest for later. He put his two slices of pizza on a plate, and when the bell rang, he walked Kaihime to her class. After that, he walked to his Haiku class.

He walked to his seat and sat down, putting his pizza on the desk. Yukimura walked over to him.

"Oooh!" he shouted, smiling. "Can I have a bite?"

"No way, Jose!" Keiji snapped, quickly grabbing the plate. "Mine!"

Yukimura turned away, looking down, as Kiyomasa laughed and 'ha-ha(ed)' him. "Don't do that!" Yukimura shouted to Kiyomasa. "I don't like you saying that to me! And Keiji, my name's not Jose, it's Yukimura!"

Keiji thought of a good idea and gave Kiyomasa that look. "No it's not," Keiji began. "Your mom told me that your name was Jose, so I don't know why you're saying that to us, Jose."

"Yeah," replied Kiyomasa. "And we don't even know who Yukimura is."

"Nuh-uh!" Yukimura shouted, looking at them.

"Uh-huh," Keiji replied, having a serious face. Kiyomasa nodded his head in the background.

"That's true," said Kiyomasa.

Then Sakon and Masanori walked to them.

"What's going on?" Sakon asked them.

Keiji looked at them and blinked one eye. "Jose keeps telling us that his name is Yukimura, but we don't even know who Yukimura is," he told them. They got the message.

"Are you freaken serious?" Sakon said, trying not to laugh. "Dude, Jose, what's your problem saying that to them?"

"My name's not Jose!" Yukimura shouted, stomping one foot to the ground.

"Yes it is," Masanori said, trying not to laugh too.

"It's not!" Yukimura shouted, again.

Mitsunari walked into the class and heard everyone calling Yukimura 'Jose'. He smiled and walked to Yukimura. "Hey Jose," he began. "Want a cookie?"

"Oh no! Not you too!" Yukimura shouted, shaking his head. "My name isn't Jose! It's Yukimura! And sure, I would love to have a cookie!"

"Well, you know what?" Mitsunari said to him.

"What?" Yukimura replied.

"Too freaken bad, Jose!" Mitsunari shouted, laughing his butt off. "I don't have a cookie! And even if I did, I would never share it with you, even if it means there were only us living in the world!" Everyone laughed too, especially Keiji. He never knew that Mitsunari had a sense of humor like them.

Yukimura walked over to his own seat. "I'm mad at you guys but sad at Mitsunari!" he shouted, taking out his cell phone. Keiji quickly jumped seat to seat and was behind Yukimura, but Yukimura didn't see him. Keiji saw Yukimura speed dialing his mom, as he put his phone in his ear. Kiyomasa and the rest looked at Keiji like 'what the heck is Yukimura doing?' and Keiji shrugged at them. In five seconds, Yukimura's mom picked up.

"Mom?" Yukimura said to her. "Is it true that my name is Jose, not Yukimura?"

Right when he said that, Keiji and the rest bursted out laughing so much.

"Oh my god, Sanada _would _do that!" Kiyomasa shouted, cracking up, as Yukimura turned angrily to them. He was too handsome and cute to be scary.

"You guys are liars!" Yukimura shouted, hanging up his phone. "My mom said that my name is Yukimura, not ugly Jose!" Everyone kept laughing at him, as he mugged them.

"But you _are _ugly, Yukimura," Sakon said to Yukimura, as Yukimura screamed really loud for three seconds.

"Heavens, what is going on here?" said Kanetsugu, walking to them. Yukimura turned with an angry face to him. "Oh, my," Kanetsugu trailed off, putting his right hand over his heart. Keiji laughed so much as class began. They all sat on their assigned seats.

"So," began Mrs. Okuni, "Today you guys will write Haiku poems about one of your friends."

"Yessss!" Keiji hissed, laughing. He took out a piece of paper from the pack of paper that Nene gave him earlier, and began writing. He kept laughing in his head. Mrs. Okuni gave them ten minutes to think of one. When the ten minutes were up, she walked over to her desk and grabbed the Popsicle sticks that had everyone's names on it.

_Aw, shucks_, Keiji thought to himself. _That means I won't get to go first! But oh well._

"The lucky first person is," she began, randomly picking out a Popsicle stick. "Yukimura! Yukimura, you are first, so please stand in front of the class and show us what you got!" She clapped her hands, and everyone did the same.

Yukimura sighed, and walked in front of the class. He looked at Keiji madly. "You see that guy there?" Yukimura began, pointing to Keiji, as Keiji smiled real big. "He used to be my best friend. Now he's my rival." Everyone laughed so much, especially Keiji.

"Alright," said Mrs. Okuni, as she drew another stick. "The next person is Hanzo!"

"Go Hanzo!" Keiji shouted, clapping his hands, as Hanzo walked in front of the class.

"Friends..they don't exist," Hanzo began, looking at his paper in his hand. "They'll all lie and betray you...Sooner or later…"

Everyone looked at each other and laughed, as they clapped their hands.

"Nice!" Keiji shouted.

"The next person to go is," said Mrs. Okuni. "Keiji!"

Keiji jumped up with joy. "Yes!" he shouted, walking proudly in front of the class. Then he cleared his throat and smiled. "He's Jose, jk," Keiji began, pointing to Yukimura, as Yukimura dogged him. "He's way too funny and cute. I'll never trade him."

"Awww," everyone said, smiling.

"Really?" Yukimura shouted, looking at Keiji.

"No, not really," Mitsunari replied sarcastically, as Yukimura turned away angrily again.

"Hahahah, shut up Mitsunari," Keiji said, laughing, walking over to Yukimura. "Of course I'll never trade you. You're my best friend, and I'll never trade you for anything. What do you say? Brotherly hug?" he said, reaching to hug Yukimura. Yukimura looked up and smiled, as they brotherly hugged. "And you can have my pizza," Keiji told him, as he smiled.

"Aww! They're friends again!" shouted Kunoichi.

After that, everyone else did theirs, and pretty soon, the bell rang for their last class of the day. Keiji made his way to his Chemistry class and sat down. That Chemistry class was really for sophomores only, but if you haven't taken it yet, then you had to take it. He realized that he hardly knew anyone in that class. As he scanned his fellow sophomore classmates, he thought he saw a familiar girl.

_Is that…Suzy?_ He thought to himself. He looked closely and it was Suzy! She was in his class the whole time, and he never knew until now!

As usual, they took boring old notes in that class. They learned about Scientific Notation and how to do it. That was pretty much what they did in that class, and when the bell rang, Keiji walked to find his friends afterschool. They said, "Later," to each other, and went to their rides. Today Keiji's dad picked him up.

When Keiji got home, he felt like being a good sport so he did his homework. After that, he helped his mom cook. When he finished eating, he played Call of Duty Black Ops for a while. He had Modern Warfare 3 but he didn't like it as much as Black Ops though, so he hardly played that game. In a bit, he showered and was about to check his Facebook, but decided that he would check it tomorrow or some other day, because he knew that it would blow up his head. Instead of doing that, he decided to go to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15 The Kickback

On Wednesday, Keiji and his buddies went to McDonalds for lunch. Keiji ordered a big mac, a large soda, and medium fries. Yukimura ordered a big mac, an ice cream, and a medium soda. Kiyomasa ordered two McChickens and a soda. Sakon ordered two double cheese burgers, large fries, and a large soda. Mitsunari ordered a cheeseburger, medium fries, and a large soda. Kanetsugu ordered one McChicken, medium fries, and a medium soda. Masanori ordered one double cheese burger, one McChicken, medium fries, and a large soda. After they finished eating, they walked back to campus.

When the bell rang, Keiji walked to his class with Kaihime. Along the way, he heard Musashi call his name.

"Ey yo, Keiji!" Musashi shouted from behind them.

"Sup, Miyamoto," Keiji replied, as they did their handshake.

"I'm having a kickback Friday night," Musashi began. "Wanna chill with us?"

_Oh boy!_ Keiji thought. He realized that it had been about two months since he had drunk alcohol or beer. He smiled. "Sure, why not?" he answered. "Who and who's going to be there?"

"The whole senior class," Musashi said, laughing. When he said that, Keiji knew that the kickback would be rocking.

"Fuck yeah!" Keiji shouted, smiling. "Now that's the shit! Seeing everyone get drunk!"

"Sooo," began Kaihime. "Are you going to like…invite me?"

"Of course," said Musashi. "I was just about to ask you."

"Aww! Thanks Musashi!" Kaihime yelled, giving Musashi a hug.

Keiji thought to himself that Kaihime was such a naughty-bad girl. The last time they had a kickback, she threw up on him from drinking three cans of Budweiser. From thinking about that thought, he smacked her big, teased hair.

"Oww! What the fuck, asshole?" she screamed, fixing her hair, and smacking his arm. "You need to freaken stop hitting my head! Don't you know it takes about eight minutes to put this kind of volume onto my hair?"

"That was for throwing up on me last time," Keiji told her.

"So?" she replied. "I was drunk that time. And don't hit my head anymore, because I love my teased hair."

"Eww, why?" Keiji replied, laughing. "All it does it make your head big."

"Shut up," she said, laughing. "I know I'm beautiful!"

"No you're not," Keiji said. "You're one ugly bitch! Hahahah!"

"Fuck you," she said, dogging him and smiling at the same time.

"I gotta go," Musashi said, hugging Kaihime and doing the hand shake with Keiji again. Then Kaihime stuck her tongue at Keiji and began walking to class. She said that she was going to go first, because she was 'not going to risk getting a tardy, for if she gets one more tardy, her mom would not buy her a Kathy Van Zealand purse'. Keiji laughed so much and pulled her arm.

"Stop!" she yelled, trying to break free. "You're going to make me late!"

"So?" Keiji replied, laughing. "We are going to stay right here until the tardy bell rings, because you don't deserve any more purses. You have too many of it!"

"Noooo!" she screamed, half laughing. The warning bell rang, which meant that they only had one more minute to get to class, or they would be tardy. She screamed again, and broke free from Keiji. She began to run when suddenly, Keiji pulled her hair and ran after her. "Stop, Keiji!" she yelled, still running to class.

"No!" Keiji said, laughing. They ran to class together like that, and right when they got inside the class, the tardy bell rang.

"That was close!" Kaihime shouted, panting and laughing.

"Shut up, bitch!" Keiji said, laughing, as she pushed him and walked to her seat.

On Friday afterschool, Keiji and his friends, including Kaihime, were in his parent's Cadillac Escalade. Keiji was driving and Yukimura was sitting on the passenger seat. Sakon, Mitsunari, and Kanetsugu sat on the second row, while Kaihime sat in the middle of Kiyomasa and Masanori on the third row. They were on their way to Nickel Arcade and were going to chill there until it was time for Musashi's kickback. In a bit, they found a parking spot and parked.

"You guys know that I made some jello shot vodka," Kaihime told them, hopping out of the car.

"You did?" Yukimura asked her, as she nodded her head.

"It's at home though," she said, running to him and jumping onto his back. "Carry me, Yuki!"

"Okay," Yukimura said, grabbing her thighs.

Kaihime giggled and said, "We could go and get my jello shot vodka after this."

"Did you fucken poison it?" Keiji said, having a serious face.

Kaihime laughed. "No!" she shouted, as they all laughed.

"Good thing Honor Boy isn't working today," Sakon said, laughing.

"Yeah," said Kanetsugu. "But that doesn't mean that I'm going to get drunk."

"Then why are you going to go for?" Masanori asked him.

"Look," Kanetsugu began. "I'm only going to make sure that you guys keep out of trouble, okay?"

Keiji looked at his other friends and smiled. An evil deed formed in his head. "Of course," he said, smiling. "We wouldn't have wanted it any other way…"

As the sun set, Keiji and his friends came out of Nickel Arcade with tons of prizes, such as music boxes, candy, pens, pencils, necklaces, bracelets, and etc.

"Let's go to my house," Kaihime said, as they all got in Keiji's parent's car. Keiji drove all the way to her house. She quickly ran inside and came back in three minutes. The jello shots were pink and blue. They were cut into hearts and were on a pink and blue Hello Kitty tray.

"Hell yeah!" said Kiyomasa. "So, what did you say you used to make it?"

"Vodka," she replied, smiling. "There's about two hundred pieces only."

"That's fine," Kiyomasa replied.

"I wonder if Ina's going," Sakon said, out of nowhere. "If she does, I should totally drug her! Hahahah!"

"Sakon, you're evil," Kaihime said, laughing, as Keiji drove all the way to Musashi's house. The party was already cracking. They saw Goemon sitting in the garage, smoking. He had a can of Bud Light with him.

"They started without us!" Yukimura shouted.

"It's alright, Sanada," Keiji told him, as he parked the car. "Come on, ya'll! Let's go and have some serious fun!"

"Yeah!" they shouted, except for Kanetsugu. They all got out of the car and walked to the garage. The door in between the garage and the inside of the house kept opening and closing, as people went inside and outside. The song 'You Make Me Feel' by Cobra Starship played really loud. Suddenly, Musashi came into the garage and said "Sup" to them. He walked to them and shook their hands. His breath smelled like Bud Light, and he smiled a lot at them. He told them to go inside the house, so they did.

Keiji looked around the house and saw his cousin, Toshiie, drinking an ice-cold blue drink. "Ey, what you drinking there?" Keiji asked him.

Toshiie turned to Keiji. "I'm drinking Blue Lagoon," he said, half smiling. "Wanna try some?"

"Sure," Keiji said, taking a drink of it. He thought that it was good, although most people would say that it's nasty.

Musashi gave them each a can of Bud Light and told them that if they wanted any Tequila, Patron, Blue Lagoon, Vodka, or Whisky, they were all on the table. Keiji quickly grabbed Musashi, and took him into the other living room.

"Sup?" Musashi said, smiling. He looked deeply into Keiji's eyes, as Keiji began laughing.

"Dude, you're already high," Keiji said, laughing.

"I am?" Musashi said, looking at his own body. Then he chuckled, and smiled. He looked at Keiji's eyes again, and began chuckling again. He quickly stopped chuckling, but smiled very big.

Keiji laughed at Musashi so much. He thought that Musashi was trying his best to be normal, but was already high. "Dude, I need something," Keiji said to him.

Musashi smiled more. "Whatcha need?" he asked, slowly looking around the living room. Keiji whispered a few words to Musashi, as Musashi handed him a Rohypnol. They both laughed so much. "Tell me when you do it," Musashi said to Keiji, as they walked their own ways.

Keiji walked to the kitchen table. He grabbed a cup and got himself some Tequila. He walked to the living room where his friends sat at and enjoyed the Tequila. He sat still, drinking as much as he could, because he was totally ready to enter the world of happiness. After he finished the Tequila, he walked back to the kitchen for round two.

"What are you drinking?" Kiyomasa asked him, holding a cup of Blue Lagoon.

"Tequila," Keiji replied, pouring some more Tequila into his cup.

"Awesome," Kiyomasa replied, as he walked off.

Keiji drank it nonstop this time. He knew it was a stupid thing to do, but he just wanted to have some fun, because he was young, wild, and free. Before he knew it, he started laughing out of nowhere.

"Have you seen Ina?" Sakon asked Keiji. Keiji turned to Sakon. Sakon's face was red and Keiji laughed at him. "I've been roaming this house, looking and waiting for her," Sakon finished.

"No," Keiji answered, laughing. For some reason, Keiji felt so giggly on the inside, and he kept laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" Sakon asked him, holding his glass of Patron. He was confused, and he stared blankly at Keiji.

"Cuz," Keiji snapped. "I'm young, wild, and free! Hahahah!"

"Ohhh," Sakon said, smiling. "I understand now. Anyways, I uh…gotta go look for Ina. See ya later, Meiji."

"Meiji?" Keiji said, laughing. "That's not my name!"

"Oops," Sakon said, laughing too. "I mean…uh…Keiji…Yeah, Keiji."

"Hahahah! You're so red, you know that?" Keiji said to him. "You're so wasted!"

Sakon shrugged his shoulders and walked off. Then Keiji grabbed a different cup and got himself some Patron. He drank it like it was nothing, and boy did he feel strong. Then he looked for his Bud Light and realized that he left it in the living room. He walked back into the living room and saw his Bud Light waiting for him on the stairs.

"I'm comiiiinnnngggg!" he shouted, running in slow motion to the Bud Light. He smiled, and boy, did he feel like he was in Heaven. Before he knew it, he swore to God that he was flying. "Weeeeeeeeee!" he shouted, smiling so big. When he looked at the Bud Light, he saw no one else but himself and the Bud Light. It took forever to reach the Bud Light, so he thought to himself that he would swim. He swore that he was in a pool, and was swimming to the Bud Light. It felt like no matter how fast he swam, he wasn't going anywhere.

"Get up!" he heard someone say. He swam even faster, but was still in the same place. "Get up!" it shouted again. He did not know how long it had said that to him, but before he knew it, something touched him. For some reason, he thought it was a monster.

"Ahhhh!" he shouted. "A monster's got me! Help!"

A lot of hands touched him, and got a hold of him, as he continued screaming.

"Keiji," it said. "Calm down! It's just us!"

Keiji stopped screaming and looked to see who it really was. Everything was so blurry for him, so he couldn't really tell who it was that was talking to him.

"Who are you?" Keiji shouted to the person.

"It's Kanetsugu," said the person.

Keiji tried to remember who Kanetsugu was. Then he remembered that he was going to play a special prank on him. Before he knew it, he kinda saw things more clearly. He looked around the room, and his friends stared at him. He thought there was something wrong with him, so he looked at himself. He was on the floor, lying down, and didn't understand how that happened.

"Are you okay?" Kanetsugu asked him.

"Yeah," Keiji replied, sitting up. "What happened?"

"Blah blah blah blah, jumped to the floor, blah blah blah, was swimming and then blah and blah and blah," he heard Kanetsugu say. He knew that he was hearing him wrong, because he was drunk.

_Oh my gosh! I'm finally drunk!_ He told himself. He looked at Kanetsugu and shrugged his shoulders. Then he got up and smiled. He remembered about his Bud Light and walked to it. He felt himself walking kinda crooked, but he didn't care. He grabbed his Bud Light and smiled, as Kanetsugu quickly grabbed it away.

"You had too many drinks, Keiji!" stormed Kanetsugu.

Keiji looked at him blankly. "Don't worry, dad," he said to Kanetsugu. "I'll be fine!"

"No you won't! Who knows what you might do next?" Kanetsugu said. "And I'm not your dad!"

"Okay then, dad," Keiji said smiling. He thought to himself that he could always get another Bud Light, since they were just in the kitchen waiting for him.


	16. Chapter 16 The Kickback Part 2

Kanetsugu made Keiji sit down in the living room on the couch. Keiji was singing very loud, and boy was his voice irritating. He sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and man, he needed to shut up.

"Shut! Up!" shouted Mitsunari. Mitsunari's face was red as heck, and he was probably drunk too. He had a can of Bud Light with him and a cup of Patron with a red straw.

"UP ABOVE THE WORLD SO HIGH! LIKE A DIAMOND IN THE SKY!" Keiji continued singing. "TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR! HOW I WONDER WHAT YOU ARE!" Then he began laughing for five minutes straight.

After he finished laughing, he took a deep breath and looked around the room. The world was spinning and everything was all blurred out. He felt like having some more drinks, but he knew that Kanetsugu wouldn't let him go and get some. Then he saw Yukimura walking by him and quickly thought of an idea.

"EY! YO SANADA!" Keiji shouted, making his face drunk. "COME HERE!"

Yukimura walked slowly and turned to Keiji. He took a sip of his Bud Light and walked to Keiji. Keiji smiled very big. He whispered a few words to Yukimura and Yukimura began walking to the kitchen. Before Keiji knew it, he and some of his friends began singing the song Domino by Jessie J.

"I'M FEELING SEXY AND FREE! LIKE GLITTER'S RAINING ON ME!" Keiji began, smiling. "YOU'RE LIKE A SHOT OF PURE GOLD! I THINK I'M BOUT TO EXPLODE!"

"I CAN TASTE THE TENSION LIKE A CLOUD SMOKE IN THE AIR!" sang Sakon. "NOW I'M BREATHING LIKE I'M RUNNING CAUSE YOU'RE TAKING ME THERE. DON'T YOU KNOW…YOU SPIN ME OUT OF CONTROL?"

"OOH OOH OOH OOH!" sang Masanori.

"WE CAN DO THIS ALL NIGHT," sang Kiyomasa. "TURN THIS LOVE SKIN TIGHT! BABY COME ON!"

"OOH OOH OOH OOH!" Masanori sang again.

"BOOMIN LIKE A BASS DRUM! SPARKIN UP A RHYTHM," Kiyomasa sang. "BABY COME ON!"

"OOH OOH OOH OOH," sang Masanori.

"ROCK MY WORLD UNTIL THE SUNLIGHT! MAKE THIS DREAM THE BEST I'VE EVER KNOWN. DIRTY DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT! TAKE ME DOWN LIKE I'M A DOMINO! EVERY SECOND IS A HIGHLIGHT! WHEN WE TOUCH DON'T EVER LET ME GO! DIRTY DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT! TAKE ME DOWN LIKE I'M A DOMINO," they all sang. They cracked up so much and before Keiji knew it, Yukimura brought him four pieces of jello shot and a cup of Vodka.

"Thanks, hunny!" Keiji shouted, taking the jello shots and Vodka.

"No, Keiji!" said Kanetsugu, trying to take the jello shots away. Keiji quickly shoved the four jello shots into his mouth and chewed it. He laughed so much and opened his mouth for Kanetsugu to see him chewing it. He thought it was super funny so he laughed and laughed. He felt his head grow dizzier and dizzier when he swallowed the jello shots, but he didn't care.

"Such an unhonorable move, Keiji!" Kanetsugu shouted, shaking his head.

_Unhonorable? _Keiji thought, laughing. _I'll show him what unhonorable is!_

Keiji drank half of the Vodka and walked into the garage. He saw Musashi talking with Nagamasa. Next to Nagamasa was Oichi, holding onto his arm, making sure that he didn't do anything wrong. Keiji's head spun and spun, so he stared hard at them like an eagle, trying to concentrate on their faces. He walked very crooked to Musashi.

"YOOOO!" Keiji began. He did not know that his voice was booming. "MUSASHI! I UH…GOTTA TELL YOU SOMETHING!"

Musashi turned, trying to make a normal face, but you could tell that he was drunk. "WASSUP?" he asked.

"COME WITH ME," Keiji responded, smiling. "IT'S TIME FOR YOU KNOW WHAT." Musashi thought for a bit and then smiled. He followed Keiji into the kitchen.

To make the situation unobvious, Musashi got a glass of water while Keiji dropped the Rohypnol into the cup. They waited until the Rohypnol dissolved. Then Keiji went into the bathroom, so Kanetsugu wouldn't suspect anything.

Three minutes later, Keiji came out of the bathroom and began watching T.V. Musashi walked to Kanetsugu and handed him the glass of water. Keiji pretended not to pay any attention to them.

"Sorry Musashi, I don't drink," Kanetsugu told Musashi.

"It's only water," Musashi said, smiling. Then Kanetsugu agreed to drink the "water".

Musashi sat down on the couch next to Keiji. They were talking about random stuffs, and were acting stupid because of their drunkenness. Pretty soon, the Rohypnol hit Kanetsugu, although he only drank like a fourth of the water. He was quiet and he looked drowsy.

Motochika walked to them and gave them all a Bud Light, including Kanetsugu. He told Kanetsugu that if he didn't drink it, then it meant that he was disrespecting him, so Kanetsugu had no other choice but to drink the Bud Light.

Keiji smiled so big and popped open the Bud Light that Motochika gave him. He thought to himself that it was going to be the last drink for him, because he already began to feel sick from drinking. Pretty soon, Kanetsugu became drunk too. He walked all around the house and gathered everyone into the living room. He began to lecture them in a drunken way.

"This is like…Just so unhonorable!" Kanetsugu began, trying to concentrate. "We do not ever drink so much like this! Because it's just so…honorable! No, I meant unhonorable! Because we drank too much! Like Keiji, for example!"

They all looked at each other and laughed. They were clueless and shrugged their shoulders.

"Being honorable means to do good things only!" Kanetsugu said again. "But since when did we become unhonorable? Right? So allow me to give you guys some good advice."

"He's totally drunk," Sakon said, laughing, as everyone laughed after him.

"I am not drunk, Sakon!" Kanetsugu began. "I'm still normal! And as I was saying, we shouldn't drink so much like this because it's bad for our bodies and because it's-"

"Unhonorable," said Mitsunari. "I think we all get it now."

"Shhh!" stormed Kanetsugu. He continued lecturing them until he knocked out, which was about twenty minutes later.

"Oh no! He's dead!" shouted Yukimura. He began panicking while everyone laughed at him.

"He just passed out, you stupid little baby!" shouted Mitsunari. "Get your facts straight!"

Keiji and Musashi grabbed Kanetsugu and put him on the couch in the other living room. Since everyone was already in the living room, they decided to play spin the bottle. They sat in a big circle in this order: Keiji, Musashi, Mitsunari, Kiyomasa, Masanori, Yukimura, Sakon, Nagamasa, Oichi, Himiko, Kunoichi, Toshiie, Motochika, Magoichi, Ginchiyo, Nene, Goemon, Yoshimoto, and Kaihime.

"HEY, WHERE'S THAT ONE NEW KIDDO? UHH, HANZO, YEAH, HANZO," Keiji stormed, looking around.

Musashi shrugged and said, "BEATS ME. I INVITED HIM, BUT I DON'T THINK HE CAME."

"GOD KNOWS IF HE SECRETLY CAME," Motochika said, laughing.

"WHO KNOWS? HE'S PROBABLY SPYING ON US OR SOMETHING!" Goemon shouted, as everyone laughed.

"I KNOW, RIGHT?" Keiji shouted, laughing. Then they began playing spin the bottle. The rules were no backing out from the game, either you kiss the person you got or drink a tiny cup of Vodka, and you only had three chances to drink the Vodka, and after you use up your three chances, you have to start kissing the person you get or else things would be ugly. From the kitchen window outside, Hanzo stared hard at them, while they laughed and spun the bottle. Too bad no one saw him.

"Mere fools!" he whispered.

Playing spin the bottle was the last thing that Keiji remembered about the kickback. He couldn't really remember any details about the game though, but all he knew was that he had an awesome time. What sucked for him was that he woke up with a bad hangover. He looked around the room and saw his close buddies sleeping all over Musashi's living room. He shrugged to himself and fell asleep again.


	17. Chapter 17 A Lesson Learned

It was Monday, October 3, 2011; three days after the kickback. Keiji ate some hot papaya salad at 6:45 am, while getting ready for school. It was really hot and good, but he regretted eating it, because it made his tummy really spicy on the inside, and he could feel gas flowing through his stomach. It made his tummy hurt a lot.

He thought to himself that he would use the bathroom to release the pain before going to school. He walked into the bathroom and took off his jean, short, boxer, and underwear. He made a sour face because he couldn't hold onto his shit anymore. He quickly sat down on the toilet and-BURRR! A piece of shit exploded from his butthole.

"Ahhhhh," he said, closing his eyes and smiling. Then he pushed hard for another explosion. He shut his eyes real tight and grunted, "MMMMMMM," as another piece of shit came out. It felt so good for him. He pushed again and again, and before he knew it, it was 7:10 am. His stomach still had lots of gas, but for now, he felt better than a while ago. He rolled down twelve inches of toilet paper onto his hand and wiped his butthole several times with it. His stomach was making sounds as if he still needed to shit, but he needed to get to school now or else he would be late. He looked into the toilet and saw a bunch of green diarrhea floating.

_Ew, gross,_ he thought to himself, as he flushed the toilet. He went inside his room and grabbed his backpack and car keys. He went outside and locked the front door. Then he went into his dad's car and drove off. As he was driving, his stomach started hurting like a bitch again.

"Awwww, fuckkkk," he grunted, making his sour face. His stomach was making lots of noises. He quickly thought to himself that the faster he gets to school, the longer he'll be able to take a dump in the restroom. He decided to take a shortcut to his school.

He made a right turn and quickly pressed onto the break, for if he didn't, then he probably would've crashed into the car in front of him.

"Shiiiiittt!" he shouted, as his head quickly moved forward and then backward, as the car stopped. He looked around and said, "What the fuck is going on?" He realized that the street he turned on was busy. His stomach was sending messages to him saying that he really needed to take a fatass dump. He felt his shit starting to come out, and quickly squeezed his butt cheeks together real tight. "Oh man!" he said, using his right hand to hug his tummy. It hurt him so much!

The road ahead moved slowly as Keiji's stomach continued crying. Suddenly, he farted like, "THARNNN," and after that fart, he felt something kinda wet and warm from his underwear. He thought that he might have accidently diarrhea a little bit.

"Oops," he said, laughing. Good thing he carried an extra underwear in his backpack. He began laughing and laughing, and before he knew it, "BREHHH," went the sound of his ass. He felt another warm liquid from his butthole. He kept laughing and laughing again, but held his butt cheeks together super tight. He held his breath and for God's sake, his tummy cried out loud. For a split second there, he could've sworn he heard his tummy chanting, "Free the shit! Free the shit! Free the shit!" and it scared him. It was now 7:23 am, and he was close to exiting the busy street.

_So much for this shortcut! _He thought to himself. _Now I'm really going to be late!_

His first period class didn't start until 7:30 am, but he was going to be late either way, because usually after that street that he had just turned to, it would take another five minutes to get on campus and park. It would take another three minutes to walk to his class too.

Finally, it was his turn to exit the street, and when he did so, he drove 50 miles per hour, but didn't get caught by the police. He reached the school and parked within three minutes, because of how fast he drove. He quickly got out of the car and began running. He had only two minutes to get to class before being late.

His stomach growled and growled, as he began running faster to class. Just then, another warm liquid slipped out of his ass, as he quickly stopped running and began squeezing his ass together. He walked slowly, while shit was trying to invade his underwear. The warning bell rang, as he began jogging to class.

"Purr, Purr, Purr," went the sound of his ass, but good thing no one heard, because they were all too busy running to class. Right when he opened the door to his class, the bell rang. He breathed hardly, as he walked slowly to his seat and threw his backpack down. When he sat down, he sneezed out of nowhere.

"Ahhh…Chooo!" he stormed, as his butt cheeks lost its guard and another piece of diarrhea swooshed out and invaded his underwear. Man, was he a sad human being right now. As he bent down to reach his backpack, he farted silently for five seconds. He felt the gas slowly leaving his ass, and it felt so good. In five seconds, the person sitting next to him, which was Magoichi, turned to him with a disgusted face.

"P. U." he said, covering his nose, as he laughed. "What was that?"

Keiji laughed and laughed. Now everyone around him turned to him and did the same thing that Magoichi did, and as always, Keiji continued laughing.

In the middle of taking notes, his stomach kept crying like a lost baby. He continued shutting his ass together real tight. Before he knew it, it was time for the next class. He walked to his Geometry class and sat down. He copied everything that the teacher wrote down for about fifteen minutes, and boy did the horrible gas in his stomach hurt him. He couldn't wait any longer because the shit was coming out any second now. He made his sour face and quickly raised his hand.

"Yes, Keiji?" said the teacher.

"I really need to take a dump!" Keiji exclaimed, hugging his stomach.

"Wait until after this problem," replied the teacher.

"But I can't! I've been holding onto it ever since morning time!" Keiji responded. "And some pieces of shit already came out a while ago! I really, really need to use the restroom!"

"Hold on. This problems only going to take five minutes," said the teacher.

Keiji sighed. "Just hurry up before another shit invades my underwear!"

The teacher continued teaching, but Keiji couldn't even write right now. He felt very weak because of the pain held in his stomach. He felt shit starting to come out again. He squeezed his butt real tight, but somehow, shit managed to get through.

"Oh my god!" Keiji exclaimed. "It's coming out! It's coming out!"

The teacher and his classmates looked at him and began laughing. The teacher shook his head and gave Keiji the pass to the bathroom. He quickly grabbed it and stormed off to the nearest bathroom with his backpack on, and ran all the way to the bathroom on Academy 14. He ran super-fast, and along the way, shit was squirting out little by little. When he reached the bathroom, there was a line of boys waiting to use the bathroom.

"Ohh Fuck!" Keiji shouted, leaving the bathroom. He ran all the way to the bathroom on Academy 18, but he didn't even get to take a step inside, because the line was extended outside. "Jesus!" he shouted, turning back. Another shit squirt from his ass, as he began running to a different bathroom. His stomach kept crying and making sounds.

He ran to the bathroom next to the library, and good thing there wasn't a line. He went to the first stall and pushed it, but it didn't open. He heard someone fart like, "Puhhh," and made a sour face at that person. He went to the next stall and it was also closed. He tried opening the third and fourth stall, but it was also closed. Finally, he went to the last stall and it opened!

"Heavens!" he shouted. "I thought I'd never get to use you!" He looked down at the toilet and realized that it was clogged. There was toilet paper that had dried out for as long as who knows and there wasn't even any water in that toilet. "Dammmnnn!" he shouted, as he got out of that stall. He looked at the other four stalls and said, "Are any of you guys almost finished taking care of your business?"

"Naaah," he heard one of them say.

"Not even," said the other.

"Nope," said another one.

"Sorry, but I'm not even halfway finished yet," said the last guy.

"Fuckkk," Keiji stormed. He was getting very pissed off now. He got out of the bathroom and ran to the bathroom next to the gym. Finally there was no one in there! He quickly got into the first stall but it was out of toilet paper. He checked the other four stalls and it was also out of toilet paper! "Man! Why are you punishing me, God? What did I ever do?"

He ran out and was farting all the way to the bathroom on Academy 10. He opened the first stall and it had toilet paper! Finally, peace at last! He locked the stall and took off his bottoms. When he sat down, hella shit came out. It was very warm and bubbly. He farted many times and it made the sounds, "Thuuuuuu, Brehhh, Ssssss, Puhhh, Burr, and Blehhh". It felt so great!

It took him twenty minutes to take care of that business. When he was finished, he switched his underwear. It had green diarrhea stain on the back, and a little bit also got on his boxer too. He wrapped his underwear in toilet paper and threw it away. Finally he took out his cell phone and texted Kanetsugu. He wrote: "I just took a fatass dump. Lmfao" and sent it. He laughed to himself as he walked back to class.

Everything finally went well for him until his English class. His stomach began crying again and he felt the gas swimming in his tummy.

_Not again,_ he thought.

He held onto it until it was lunch time. The pain quickly went away, so he and his friends met up in the quad. He was sure quiet that day.

"Are you okay, Keiji?" asked Yukimura. Keiji nodded his head. "Are you sure?"

"You've been awfully quiet today," said Kiyomasa.

"Naw. It's just that for this whole day, I've been needing to shit real badly," Keiji told them.

"Then why don't you just go to the bathroom and do so?" said Sakon, laughing.

"I've already done so. Like two times already and it's coming back again," Keiji replied. "It's not a fun feeling."

"Damn. It must be one of those stomach diarrhea pains. Am I right?" Sakon asked, as Keiji nodded his head. "What did you eat anyways?"

"I ate some spicyass papaya before coming to school," Keiji replied, smiling.

"Eating spicy papaya before coming to school?" said Kanetsugu, shaking his head. "Tsk. Tsk. Tsk."

"Why on Earth would you eat some spicyass papaya before coming to school?" said Sakon, laughing his butt off.

"I couldn't help it! It was too good!" Keiji exclaimed, laughing too. Then his stomach began hurting so much all over again. "Dang. I better go to the bathroom before I end up shitting in my underwear again!"

"You shit in your underwear?" exclaimed all his friends. He smiled and nodded his head, as he ran all the way to the bathroom on Academy 2, since it was the closest bathroom. After his diarrhea came out, his stomach felt much better again.

When he got home, he did his homework and showered. Then he played Smackdown vs Raw. He played as John Cena and went against The Undertaker. He won the match and before he went to sleep, he took a big dump. It relieved his stomach so much and boy, did he go to bed peacefully. In the middle of the night, he farted like seven times total, and ended up going to the bathroom three times. He had learned a big lesson that day: NEVER EAT SPICY FOOD BEFORE GOING TO SCHOOL.


	18. Chapter 18 FOBS

The next day, Keiji drove his dad's car to school again. He arrived at 7:15 am and got out of the car. He heard some commotions that got him really curious.

"Have you heard of the FOBS?" said a girl to a different girl.

"Yeah!" exclaimed the other girl. "I heard that they were fresh off from China!"

"Dude, have you seen the FOBS yet?" said a boy to a girl.

"No, have you?" asked the girl.

"Ey bro! New meats arriving today!" shouted a guy.

"Who?" replied a Mexican guy.

"FOBS comin today, son!" yelled a white guy.

Keiji walked all the way to his friends, thinking who the heck the "FOBS" were. He knew that FOB stood for "fresh off the boat", but he didn't hear of any FOBS coming to their school.

"Why's everyone all blabbering about these FOBS?" Keiji asked them.

"Haven't you heard?" said Sakon. "There are new FOBS coming to this school!"

"Who?" Keiji asked.

"These rich kids from China!" said Masanori. "I heard they mastered English real good!"

"I heard there's a triplet sibling," Kiyomasa added.

"I heard one of them went to war and lost an eye!" exclaimed Yukimura.

"Really?" said Sakon. "I heard that one too!"

"Well I heard they're really good with Martial Arts," said Kanetsugu.

"I know, right?" said Kiyomasa.

"I heard that they're fast learners," Mitsunari said.

Keiji was plain confused and all that talk about the FOBS was starting to annoy to him. "So why am I like the last person who knows about this?" he asked them.

"It was on Facebook yesterday," Sakon told him.

"Ohhhhh," Keiji said, nodding his head. "Maybe it's cuz I wasn't on yesterday; that's why I didn't know anything."

"Yup," said Kiyomasa.

"Besides, how great can they really be?" Keiji asked them. "All you guys heard were just rumors. Who knows if they're actually as great as they seem?"

They shrugged their shoulders and when the bell rang, they all went to their class. At break time, they met up with each other and walked to their Martial Arts class.

"I've spotted the FOBS!" exclaimed Masanori, pointing ahead. They all looked where Masanori was pointing at and saw a big group of Asian peoples, but they didn't get a good look at them though. Then they saw this guy that looked like a teacher. He shouted, "Let's do this!" and the FOBS shouted, "Yeahhh!"

"Like seriously, I don't get what's so special about them," Keiji said, blankly.

"Go switch into your armors quickly!" shouted Tadakatsu. Everyone quickly went into the locker room and switched. They all came out together and Keiji decided to ask Tadakatsu who they were, because he figured that since he's a teacher, he would probably know more about them.

"Sooo, Tadakatsu," Keiji began. "Who are those people anyway?"

"They are students from China," began Tadakatsu. "They are talented in Martial Arts and they are going to stay here until Winter break."

"What are they doing here anyways?" Keiji asked again.

"To come and battle you guys," Tadakatsu told him. "And to see how American Schools are like."

"Oh..I see now," Keiji said, as he walked to his friends. When Tadakatsu blew his whistle, everyone went to their numbers.

"Listen up, class, because I'm only going to say this once," said Tadakatsu. "You guys see that class over there?" He pointed to the FOBS.

"You mean the FOBS?" asked Masamune.

"Yes," answered Tadakatsu. "Anyways, we will be playing a war invasion game against them. You guys have today to come up with the war plans. Keiji, I want you to be the team commander, so you better make a good one. Is that understood?"

Keiji was excited. "Of course. You can always count on me."

"Good," replied Tadakatsu. "Now everyone, into the South X room."

Everyone walked into the South X room and sat down. Keiji got the map of the battlefield and saw that there were eight bases total; four for them and four for the FOBS.

"You have ten minutes to come up with three generals, two lieutenants, and assign bases for the rest," said Tadakatsu.

"Alright," Keiji said, thinking. He drew the map on a dry-erase board. He labeled the main camp "X". The other three bases were labeled, "Y," "Z," and "W." "My first general will be…Sakon," Keiji began. "My next general will be…Yukimura…And my last general will be Kiyomasa…"

"Awesome," they said, smiling.

"And now for the lieutenants," Keiji began again. "Mitsunari and Kanetsugu."

"It will be my pleasure," said Kanetsugu.

"Hmph. Whatever," said Mitsunari.

"Okay. Anyways, Sakon, you will be in base Y. Yukimura, you will be in base Z. And Kiyomasa, you will be in base W."

"Alright," they said.

"Magoichi, Masamune, and Nagamasa. You guys will be with Yukimura on base Z," Keiji told them. "Goemon, Hanzo, and Ginchiyo. You guys will be with Kiyomasa on base W. Oichi, Yoshimoto, and Nene. You guys will be with Sakon on base Y. Musashi and Motochika, you guys will be the reinforcements under Mitsunari. And finally, Toshiie and Masanori. You guys get to be the reinforcements under Kanetsugu. Are we cleared?" finished Keiji. Everyone nodded their heads.

After that, Tadakatsu began explaining the rules, which they already knew. One of the rules was that you could only come back into the game three times. For every time that you fall down or drop your weapon, that meant that you got defeated, and once you got defeated, you have to run three big laps around the track field to come back into the game. Once you come back on your third round and you die, that means that you just got captured. Specific tactics work for a specific amount of time, and you could only use up to three tactics. You cannot invade the main camp until you have captured the enemy's three bases. Reinforcements have to run around the track field five times before coming into the battle. Everyone in the game will have two powdered bombs that they can throw. If someone throws their bombs and the powders touches someone, that's one round of defeat for whoever got touched by it.

"So what tactics are you planning to use?" said Tadakatsu. "And don't fool around, because we only have ten minutes left to think of what we want. Tomorrow, we will be getting the tactics ready, so be serious."

"Okay," said Keiji. "I want to use Tactic: Capture, Tactic: Force March, and Tactic: Slow March. Everyone okay with that?"

"Yeah," said everyone.

"Good job," said Tadakatsu, as he dismissed everyone to go and switch back into their clothes.


	19. Chapter 19 The Plan

The next day in Keiji's Martial Arts class, they headed to the field where they were going to battle the FOBS. There was a big wall that divided the battlefield so they wouldn't be able to see what the other side was doing. They made some traps around each base, and they also made their own powder bombs.

"We're totally going to kick some butts tomorrow," Musashi said, flexing his arms.

"Yeah," said Sakon. "As long as there's me, Kanetsugu, Keiji, Yukimura, Mitsunari, Masanori, and Kiyomasa, nothing could stop us."

Keiji laughed. "You got that right, son!"

"Everyone listen up, because I'm only going to say this once," said Tadakatsu. "The other team has a secret hidden imperial seal and it's your job to go and find it tomorrow. You guys are the invaders and have about thirty minutes to find the imperial seal or else you'll end up in defeat. On Friday, it will be your guy's turn to hide the imperial seal while they invade you guys. Do you guys understand?"

"Yeah," said everyone.

"And nobody does anything unless Keiji tells you guys to. Alright?" said Tadakatsu.

"Of course," replied the students.

"Good," Tadakatsu responded. "Now huddle together while Keiji gives you guys pre-commands." All the students gathered around Keiji, as he began thinking of who should attack first.

"Okay, listen up," Keiji began. "Yukimura, when I hold my weapon up, you will release two of your officers to go and attack the enemy's base that's opposite from you guys. Okay?"

"Okay," Yukimura said, nodding his head. "Magoichi and Masamune, you guys will go first."

"Whatever you say," said Masamune.

"Cool," said Magoichi.

"And if everything goes well, raise your weapon up, Sanada," commanded Keiji, as Yukimura nodded his head. "But if things go wrong, swing your weapon in place."

"What happens when I do that?" asked Yukimura.

"Then Kiyomasa, you will send in Hanzo to go and assist them," Keiji said.

"You can count on me," said Kiyomasa.

"Can't any one of you guys do things on your own?" sighed Hanzo.

"Don't worry," snapped Keiji. "You'll only go and help them IF they need assistance."

"Whatever," said Hanzo.

"But if things do go well, then Kiyomasa will send in Ginchiyo and Goemon to attack their enemy opposite base. Got that?" Keiji said.

"Yeah," said Kiyomasa.

"If the enemy sends in any officers at any time, Sakon will send in Yoshimoto and Nene to go and get rid of them. Okay?" Keiji said again. They nodded their heads. "But if Yoshimoto and Nene can't take them down, then Yukimura will go and assist them."

"Alright!" shouted Yukimura. He was excited for the battle.

"Anyways, if Ginchiyo and Goemon need help, then Oichi will go and assist them. Once we gain control of the enemy's two bases, Yoshimoto and Nene will go to the enemy's third base and take them down. If they need any help, Kiyomasa will assist them, and while that is happening, our reinforcements should arrive and they will defend the bases that we've taken over, except for Musashi and Toshiie, because they will be getting ready to attack the enemy's main camp."

"Awesome," said Musashi.

"And after we gain control of the enemy's three bases, we will go all out and attack the enemy's main camp while Kanetsugu, Hanzo, Nene, Masanori, and Motochika look for the imperial seal," Keiji explained.

"But what if we go all out and they come and take over the bases that we took from them?" asked Oichi.

"They won't," Keiji said smiling.

"And why are you so sure of yourself?" Mitsunari asked.

"Cuz," Keiji began. "It won't matter anyways, because they can't attack our main camp. They haven't even taken over any of our bases yet, and plus, why would they want to come and take over our bases when they're completely surrounded? It'll just waste their time if they do, because once their main camp falls, they'll eventually lose."

"Keiji," began Yukimura. "You're awesome!"

"Hahahah!" laughed Keiji. "I know, right?"

"Let's just hope this all goes well tomorrow," said Masamune.


	20. Chapter 20 Taking the First Base

Tomorrow, everyone got in their assigned bases. Keiji was extremely excited to see how this battle was going to end up like. He hoped that his plan would work the way how he planned it to be.

"Is everyone ready?" shouted Tadakatsu.

"Yeah!" everyone shouted.

"As soon as I move this wall, the battle shall soon begin!" Tadakatsu shouted, as he pressed on a remote that made the wall start moving away. Then Goemon's theme, "Thief Music" started playing.

"Yeah baby!" Keiji shouted, smiling, as he held his weapon up high. Suddenly, Magoichi and Masamune started running to the enemy's base that was opposite from them.

"We'll need to get that door to open," said Masamune to Magoichi. "And we need to watch out for traps too."

"Yeah, like that big leaf on the ground right there. I bet there's a big hole underneath it," Magoichi replied, pointing to a big leaf on the ground. He quickly picked up a rock and threw it on the leaf, and he was right, there was a big hole underneath it. "Hah! I knew it!" he shouted, as he tripped on a big rope.

"Magoichi!" shouted Masamune, as Magoichi's leg got caught on the rope and hung him up-side-down from a tree that was next to the enemy's base. "Watch out!"

"Get me down!" shouted Magoichi, as Masamune looked around, thinking of what to do next. From base Z, Yukimura waved his weapon back and forth, as Hanzo made his way to the rescue.

"Mere fools," he said to them.

"Tch. Don't be calling me a fool, you imbecile," began Masamune. "I'm not the one who's in trouble around here."

Hanzo took Magoichi's weapon and used the knife part to cut Magoichi loose from the rope.

"OUCHH!" shouted Magoichi, as he fell on his butt. Hanzo left back to his base.

"Get up, you imbecile!" Masamune shouted.

"Now what do we do?" Magoichi asked, standing up.

"Get the door to open!" Masamune shouted. They both ran to the enemy's door and began kicking and pounding on it. "Open up, you losers!" Masamune shouted, again.

"You wanna get in? Then you gotta do better than that!" shouted a voice from behind the door.

"Grrr!" snarled Masamune. "I'll show you!" He continued hitting and kicking the door while Magoichi formed a smile.

"Hey Masamune," Magoichi began.

"What?" replied Masamune. "Can't you see I'm busy trying to get this door to open?"

"I have an idea," Magoichi said, as Masamune stopped hitting the door.

"It better be a good one," Masamune responded.

"You see that rope that got me?" Magoichi pointed to the rope that hung him earlier.

"What am I? Like blind?" Masamune said. "Of course I can see it, you imbecile."

"Why don't we use their trap against them? Know what I mean?" Magoichi said, smiling.

"Tch. Not really," Masamune replied.

"We can do Tarzan and swing on this rope to get inside!" Magoichi shouted.

Masamune began to smile. "Hey, great idea!"

They both climbed on the tree that held the rope.

"Hold on tight, Masamune," said Magoichi, getting ready to swing across. Masamune was holding on to Magoichi's body.

"Just hurry up, you goddamn imbecile!" replied Masamune.

Magoichi took a deep breath and jumped as the rope swung forward. "Ahhhhh!" they both screamed, as the rope swung them far enough to get into the enemy's base. Then Magoichi quickly let go of the rope, as they both fell to the floor of the enemy's base.

"Very impressive," said a guy with long hair, who was dressed in red. He was very handsome and he clapped his hands several times.

"Hmph!" snapped Masamune. "So you're the imbecile who wouldn't open up the door!"

"No," he replied, smiling. "I am Zhou Yu, master of tactics and politics. You have made the wrong decision to come and fight me."

"Tch. I am Masamune Date, the one eyed dragon. You have made the wrong decision not to let me in!" Masamune shouted, getting ready to fight.

"You'll have to get through me first!" shouted this fat boy, with a weapon that looked like a bull. "My name is Xu Zhu and I love to make new friends."

"Well, my name is Masamune Date and I don't want to be your friend, you imbecile!" Masamune replied. Then a girl who looked tomboyish approached Magoichi.

"My name is Sun Shang Xiang and don't underestimate me just cuz I'm a girl!" she shouted.

Magoichi smiled and winked at her. He looked at her up and down. "Hey. My name's Magoichi Saika. And don't worry, my precious. I will never, ever hurt a beautiful, harmless girl like you."

"YOU!" she shouted, getting ready to fight. She swung her weapon at Magoichi, as he ducked and poked her tummy. She screamed and backed away. "Don't touch me, you perv!" she shouted.

"Come closer and I'll give you a taste of love!" Magoichi said, laughing.

Meanwhile, Xu Zhu swung his weapon at Masamune. It hit his arm and he got mad.

"Ow, you idiotic imbecile!" Masamune shouted, grabbing some sand and throwing it into Xu Zhu's eyes.

"Ouch! Why'd you do that for? That wasn't very friendly!" Xu Zhu said, dropping his weapon, and covering his eyes. Then Masamune pushed him so hard that he fell to the ground and almost couldn't get up.

"Yeah!" Masamune shouted. "You're out!"

"See you later," Xu Zhu said, as he picked up his weapon and began running his three laps before returning back.

Sun Shang Xiang continued swinging her weapon at Magoichi, but he kept ducking and playing around with her. Finally, she trapped him in a corner.

"There's nowhere to run now, is there?" she said, smiling.

"Oh hell yeah. Show me what you can do, girl," Magoichi said, trying to flirt with her.

She almost finished him off, but Masamune quickly interfered and used his weapon to take down hers. She dropped her weapon and turned angrily to him.

"You're out," Masamune said, smiling.

"You haven't seen the best of me yet!" she shouted. Then she rolled her eyes, picked up her weapon, and began running her laps.

"My name is Jiang Wei and I shall take care of you once and for all!" shouted a guy that came dashing towards Masamune.

"I'm Masamune and you will eat sand!" Masamune shouted, as he threw sand into Jiang Wei's eyes. Jiang Wei quickly covered his eyes and dropped his weapon, as Masamune high jump kicked him.

"Ooof!" went the sound of Jiang Wei, as he fell down.

"Yeah!" Masamune shouted. "You're out!"

"I shall return!" Jiang Wei said, as he picked up his weapon and began running.

Masamune and Magoichi looked at Zhou Yu. He was the only one left in that base.

"Looks like you're outnumbered now, buddy," Masamune said, half smiling.

"Show me what you got, kiddo," Zhou Yu said, posing to fight.

"How about you show me?" Masamune said, posing too.

Zhou Yu ran to Masamune and swung his weapon many times at Masamune, but Masamune blocked it all. Then Zhou Yu twirled his weapon all around and began to confuse Masamune. Finally, he got to hit Masamune five times and almost finished him off.

"You're done," Zhou Yu said, as Magoichi quickly slammed his weapon on Zhou Yu's head. Zhou Yu turned around and Magoichi quickly poked his stomach using his weapon. Then Zhou Yu conked his weapon on Magoichi's head.

"Ow!" Magoichi said, feeling his head. Just then, Masamune high jump kicked Zhou Yu from behind and made him fall down.

"Oh yeah! Masamune Date, the one eyed dragon has kicked some serious butts!" Masamune shouted.

"We will meet again," Zhou Yu said, as he began running.

"Good job, Masamune," Magoichi said to Masamune.

"Tell it to the one eyed dragon!" Masamune shouted, smiling.

"But..You are the one eyed dragon," Magoichi said.

"Duh, you imbecile!" Masamune replied, laughing. Then they both waved their weapons up high as a symbol that they took over the base. Yukimura waved his weapon up high to Keiji.

"Awesome!" Keiji shouted, smiling.


	21. Chapter 21 The Battle

Kiyomasa raised his weapon in the air as a symbol that he was sending out Ginchiyo and Goemon to attack the opposite base from them.

"Can't you run any faster, Goemon?" Ginchiyo said to Goemon.

"Shut up, bitch," Goemon replied, as he slowed down.

Ginchiyo rolled her eyes at him and ran ahead. The door ahead was closed and she quickly thought of an idea. She ran towards the door and put her sword on the ground while dragging it faster and faster as she ran. When she reached the door, she slammed her weapon onto the door as it opened. A lot of sand flew in the air and became dusty.

"Whoa. Look at that Masamune," said Magoichi, as they both poked their heads out to watch Ginchiyo and Goemon launch their attack. "She got the door to open and you couldn't even make it move an inch."

"Shut up, imbecile. Look who got trapped upside down by a rope," Masamune replied.

"Pretty good skills," said a guy's voice, as the dust cleared. "But not as pretty as me!"

Ginchiyo chuckled. "Is that right?" she said.

"I am Zhang He, the master of beauty and dancing," he said, smiling.

"I am Ginchiyo Tachibana and I've seen guys more beautiful than you," she said, posing to fight. Then Goemon finally caught up with her.

"I am Gan Ning and you're about to witness the speed of an empire class hero!" said Gan Ning.

"I am Goemon Ishikawa and no I am not going to witness your speed because I don't give a shit about you!" Goemon shouted.

"Oh yes you are!" Gan Ning said, as he barely started to dash very fast at Goemon.

From the main camp, Keiji decided to use Tactic: Slow March.

Gan Ning had a big smile on his face, but then it quickly faded when he saw how slow he was running to Goemon. Goemon began laughing at him so much.

"Speed of an empire class hero? More like speed of an empire class turtle!" Goemon shouted, as he swung his weapon at Gan Ning. Gan Ning jumped in slow motion as he dodged the attack. Then Goemon quickly pushed him as he fell down.

"Damn!" he shouted. "You got lucky this time!"

"Shut up bitch," Goemon said to him.

Ginchiyo and Zhang He continued fighting while Goemon engaged in a fight with Guan Ping.

"I am Guan Ping, son of Guan Yu!" Guan Ping shouted.

"I am Goemon and I will kick your butt!" Goemon shouted.

They both began fighting. Goemon swung his weapon at Guan Ping as he blocked it. Then Goemon kicked Guan Ping as he backed up. Guan Ping faked that he was going to swing his weapon at Goemon. Goemon quickly blocked as Guan Ping kicked him. He fell to the ground and got really pissed off.

"Fucken bitch," Goemon said, getting up. He started running his laps.

Meanwhile, Ginchiyo dodged Zhang He's attacks. Zhang He pulled Ginchiyo's hair as she quickly pulled his hair too.

"Ow! Let go!" Zhang He cried, letting go of her hair. He was trying to pull back. Ginchiyo kicked his hand. Then he dropped his weapon and started running his laps. Guan Ping tried to sneak up on her, but she did a backward kick and kicked him in the nuts. He quickly dropped his weapon and fell to his knees.

"SSSSSS!" he said, covering his nuts. Then he slowly got up and ran his laps.

"Very impressive," said a handsome man. "You have earned the honor of fighting with Zhao Yun, the dragon of Chang Shan."

"Is that right," said Ginchiyo. They both got ready to fight. They swung and dodged each other's attacks. Ginchiyo swung her left leg at Zhao Yun. He grabbed her leg and smiled, thinking that she couldn't do anything now. Suddenly, she quickly jumped and swung her right leg at his face, leaving him to fall down to the ground. "I didn't think so," she said, smiling in victory.

"You got lucky, Miss," Zhao Yun said, getting up. "But we will meet again soon!"

After they took over that base, Yoshimoto and Nene ran to the enemy's third base. Nene smiled, as she quickly dashed left to right, and right to left. When she reached the enemy's base, she ran so fast that she jumped up and climbed onto the wall of the base and crawled up to the top of the base. Then she dived into the base as the enemy quickly opened the door for Yoshimoto to come in.

"I demand a girl on girl match!" shouted a girl with fans. "I am Da Qiao, one of the most beautiful girls of all China!"

Nene smiled. "I am Nene. I move pretty fast so I hope you can keep up."

"I am Lu Xun, and I will defeat you!" shouted Lu Xun to Yoshimoto.

"I am Yoshimoto, and if you lose to me, you will have to play Kemari with me!" Yoshimoto shouted. Lu Xun looked at him like he was some kind of weirdo or something. Then they started fighting.

Nene and Da Qiao cart wheeled and dodged each other's attacks. Then Da Qiao swung her weapon at Nene as one of her fans broke.

"You broke my weapon!" Da Qiao shouted.

"Awww, it's not my fault you decided to take a toy out to battle," Nene replied smiling, as Da Qiao began running away from her. She chased Da Qiao and caught up to her. Nene quickly did a break dance move called helicopter and tripped Da Qiao. Da Qiao fell down and got really mad. Nene waved bye to her as she started running her laps.

Nene turned and a guy that looked like a pirate came to her.

"I am Xiahou Dun and I challenge you," he said.

"I am Nene and I accept your challenge," Nene replied. She dashed at him as he kicked her. She almost fell down but caught her balance. Then Xiahou Dun ran to her. She banged her weapon on his head and quickly high jump kicked him. He almost fell down. Then Nene pushed him so hard that he fell down. "Whoo-hoo! You're out!" she shouted, jumping.

"I am Sun Quan and I shall end you!" shouted Sun Quan.

"I am Nene and I want to see you try!" Nene shouted. Sun Quan dashed at her as she quickly ducked and grabbed his right hand and twisted it. He easily dropped his weapon. "Gotcha!" Nene shouted. Then she turned to Yoshimoto. He and Lu Xun were fighting slowly with their swords. Since they were taking forever, she decided to interfere. She ran and pushed Lu Xun. Lu Xun fell down and rolled three times. "Yeah!" Nene shouted.

Now that they've captured all three of the enemy's bases, Keiji smiled and shouted, "Everyone attack the enemy's main camp!" Everyone heard and obeyed. Their reinforcements arrived right on time and got in their positions. Musashi and Toshiie went to the enemy's main camp and attacked them. Then Kanetsugu, Hanzo, Nene, Masanori, and Motochika began looking for the Imperial Seal.

Keiji laughed and ran to any enemy he saw. He only had to swing his weapon one time at them, because each person he hit went flying. He got Xiao Qiao, Cao Pi, Ling Tong, Xing Cai, Zhou Tai, and Ma Chao out. The rest of the enemy saw how strong he was, so they ran away from them. Pretty soon, Keiji found the enemy commander.

"I am Sun Ce, and this shall be the last breath of air you take!" Sun Ce shouted.

"I am Keiji and one blow can send you flying away!" Keiji shouted, laughing. He ran to Sun Ce and began fighting with him. Sun Ce was trying so hard to get Keiji to fall down, but Keiji was just too strong for him. Suddenly, Keiji kicked Sun Ce as he fell to the floor and bounced three times on the floor before lying down. Right when Sun Ce finally fell, the Imperial Seal came rolling out of his armor. Keiji quickly ran to it and grabbed it. "Victory is ours!" Keiji shouted, as his team cheered loudly.


	22. Chapter 22 The Fair Part 1

"Those FOBS weren't even that good," Masamune said, as he switched back into his regular clothes.

"I know, right?" Musashi said, smiling. "We hella kicked their butts!"

"And we will do so again tomorrow!" Keiji shouted, laughing. Then the bell rang as they all left the locker room to their fifth period class. When it was finally time to go home, Keiji couldn't wait for the big battle tomorrow. He found an empty jar in his garage as an evil smile formed on his face…

The next day, the FOBS couldn't find the Imperial Seal because Keiji had hid it in his armor pants. He purposely let the FOBS take over the three bases just so he could mess with them. He kept on laughing and laughing, because he secretly took the jar with him to battle. Cao Pi ran to him as he quickly opened the jar and waved it all around.

The scent of rotten eggs filled the air as Cao Pi almost vomited. He quickly ran away as Keiji laughed so much. Then Gan Ning tried to get him. He opened the jar again and waved it all around. Gan Ning stopped running to him and had a disgusted look on his face.

"Ew, what the hell is that smell?" Gan Ning shouted, covering his nose.

"It's my saved fart ever since last night," Keiji replied laughing. "It's called Tactic: Fart Gas."

"Ugh! You keep your farts in a jar?" Gan Ning said, almost throwing up. Keiji smiled creepily and nodded yes. "You're hella sick, foo!"

"That's what they tell me!" Keiji shouted, smiling.

Then Zhao Yun came, doing a lot of martial arts movement, as Keiji kept the jar wide open. Zhao Yun swung his weapon over his head one time and posed for battle. Suddenly, the smell of rotten eggs came to him as he felt sick. As usual, Keiji cracked up a lot. It happened to many other FOBS too, and before they knew it, the time ran out, which meant that Keiji's team had won again. At lunch time, he decided to tell his friends about what he did at the battle.

"So you actually literally farted in that jar?" Sakon asked Keiji, laughing his butt off.

Keiji nodded. "You wanna smell it?"

"Ew, hell no!" Sakon replied, laughing. The rest of his friends laughed too, except for Mitsunari and Kanetsugu.

"You're hella nasty," Mitsunari told Keiji.

"I know, right?" Keiji shouted, laughing.

"Hey, are you guys going to the fair tomorrow?" Kiyomasa asked them.

"Of course," Keiji replied. "Wouldn't wanna miss it."

"Yeah," said Yukimura. "I'm going to go on the rides. Are you guys going on the rides too?"

"Maybe," Sakon said.

"Right," Mitsunari said, rolling his eyes. "Like the swing. I can just totally picture you guys riding on it."

"Hey, don't forget the merry-go-round and the super slide!" Keiji shouted, as he and Sakon did their handshake, while cracking up. Mitsunari rolled his eyes again.

"How much more immature can you guys seriously get?" Mitsunari said.

"VERY!" Keiji exclaimed, laughing.

The next day, Keiji asked his mom for money so he could go to the fair. Then he drove his dad's car and picked up his buddies. Now they were on their way to the fair.

"I'm going to buy thirty tickets," Yukimura told them.

"Why the hell would you want to buy thirty tickets when you could just buy a bracelet for thirty dollars and get unlimited rides? Gosh, you're so stupid and pathetic sometimes!" Mitsunari shouted.

Yukimura blinked three times and had lots of tears in his eyes.

"Damn Nari! Why must you always be so harsh on Sanada?" Sakon asked Mitsunari.

"Cuz he's so annoying!" Mitsunari shouted.

"Awww," said Keiji. "Don't listen to Nari, Yuki-yuki. He just loves and cares about you a lot. Right Nari?"

"Fuck no!" Mitsunari shouted. "And stop calling me Nari!"

"Okay then, Nari," Keiji said, laughing.

"You know what? If you weren't driving, I would kick your ass right now!" Mitsunari replied.

"Uh, language!" Kanetsugu stormed.

"I don't care!" Mitsunari said, as everyone laughed.

"It's ok. I forgive you, Mitsunari," Yukimura said, smiling.

"I never said I was sorry!" Mitsunari yelled.

"You just said 'I was sorry' right now," Yukimura replied.

"No I freaken didn't! I said that 'I never said I was sorry!'" Mitsunari thundered.

"But you...Just said it again," Yukimura said, as Mitsunari turned angrily to him. He sour smiled and turned away.

"That's what I fucking thought," Mitsunari told him.

"Language!" Kanetsugu said again.

"Shut up," Mitsunari said, as everyone laughed.

Finally, they were at the fair. They just had to find a parking spot and park. Parking was $10.00 and Keiji quickly paid and parked the car. He couldn't wait to go on the rides. When they reached the entrance, the line was so long!

"Oh man," Keiji said, looking at the long line. Suddenly he spotted Kaihime up close to the line and smiled. He tapped his friends and used his head to point to her. They all smiled too. Then Keiji walked over to Kaihime and gave her a hug. The rest of his friends did so too, and before everyone else knew it, they had cut them. After they paid the entrance and got inside the fair, Kaihime smacked Keiji on the arm.

"Ow, what was that for?" Keiji said laughing.

"You only came to me so you could cut, huh?" Kaihime said, laughing too. Keiji nodded his head.

"And because I missed you truly and dearly," Keiji said, still laughing. Then they separated.

"Let's go buy some tickets!" Yukimura exclaimed.

"Didn't I just tell you that buying a bracelet was better than buying thirty tickets?" Mitsunari said, mugging Yukimura.

"Oh, right. Bracelets," Yukimura said, smiling. "Let's go buy some!"

"Okay," Sakon agreed. They walked over the ticket and bracelet booth. Most rides require five tickets, but if you buy a bracelet, it was only thirty dollars. When they all got their bracelets, they were deciding on which rides they should go on.

There were all sorts of different rides, like roller coasters and rides that went upside-down. Keiji saw a red and yellow ride that was called "Thunder". It looked super scary because it turned sideways and backwards really fast. It goes around in a circle, almost about seventy five miles per hour.

"Hey, let's go on that one!" Keiji said, pointing to the Thunder. They all agreed so they got in line. They watched some people riding on it and it looked so scary! The song "Till the World Ends" by Britney Spears was playing.

"Oh gosh, it seems so scary!" Yukimura said, watching the ride move so fast. The people on the ride were screaming like they were going to die or something.

"No it doesn't," Mitsunari said.

"Stop showing off," Masanori said to Mitsunari.

"I'm not!" Mitsunari said.

"He's probably going to be the most scared," Sakon said to Masanori. They all laughed as Mitsunari flicked them off. Pretty soon, it was their turn to go on.

"Oh yeah, baby!" Keiji exclaimed. There were three seats in a row only. "Come on, Sanada and Sakon! Both ya'll are goin' to ride with me!" They both followed him and sat with him. Yukimura sat in the middle of them both. Then the song "Made to Move Mountains" by Choclair began playing. "Hell yeah!" Keiji shouted.

Since Mitsunari was showing off earlier, Kanetsugu, Masanori, and Kiyomasa rode together and left Mitsunari alone. He had to ride with two scrawny girls. When everyone pulled the thing to keep them from falling off, the ride began.

"Whoooo!" Keiji shouted, laughing. Then the ride began moving faster and faster! They twirled and moved all around and went backwards. The chorus, "I was made to move mountains. I was born to move mountains. I was made to move mountains. I was born to move mountains," was playing when the fastness began. It was so scary and fun!

Yukimura screamed hekka loud, but somehow, Keiji overheard Mitsunari screaming and he began laughing like crazy! Air was going into his mouth and it was making him blabber on his lips, and because of that, he laughed even more. Each time the ride went backwards, Yukimura screamed louder and louder. It hekka seemed like they were going to fall! The ride went on for about two minutes and when it finished, they just laughed like crazy.

"Man, that was fun!" Keiji shouted. "Let's go on it again later!"

"Yeah!" Sakon shouted, smiling. Then Keiji remembered that Mitsunari was screaming hekka loud too, and he began laughing so much again.

"Let's play some games," Kiyomasa said, as they began walking to a game booth. They went to the basketball one.

"Three shots for five dollars," said the guy in charge of the booth.

Keiji they all paid five dollars and got three basketballs each. Keiji concentrated really hard on the hoop and made it in on his first shot. Then he made it on his second shot too. On his third shot, he concentrated extremely hard and shot the basketball. It went in!

"Yeah!" Keiji shouted. He won a big teddy bear that was white.

Kiyomasa, Kanetsugu, and Sakon also made it in three out of three times and also got big teddy bears. Yukimura and Masanori made it two out of three times and got medium sized teddy bears. Mitsunari only made it in one time, so he got a little fish toy only. Yukimura was laughing at Mitsunari because he felt sorry for him. Mitsunari told him to shut up so he did.

"Let's rent a locker," Sakon suggested. They agreed so they rented a locker and put all their stuffs in it.

"Let's go look at the souvenirs!" Yukimura said, smiling. They walked over to a booth that had souvenirs. There were necklaces, bracelets, glowing lights, and toys.


	23. Chapter 23 The Fair Part 2

Keiji saw a necklace that he thought his mom would like. It was purple and it had a heart on it. You could open up the heart and put a little picture in it. He also saw glowing lights that his friends were looking at. Since Keiji's favorite color was red, he bought a red one. He looked around some more and saw Dragon Ball Z toys. He decided to buy a Goku toy, because his hair was similar to Goku's.

"Man, me and Goku are like twins!" Keiji shouted, laughing. His friends laughed too, but Mitsunari scoffed at him.

"You're too humongous to be his twin," Mitsunari said, rolling his eyes.

"Aww, get down with it," Sakon told him, smiling.

"Fuck you," Mitsunari replied. They all laughed.

After that, they walked to a booth where people customize shirts for you. They could spray paint it, or put pictures on the shirt for you. Keiji asked them to spray paint his name red on a black shirt in cool letters. It was hella sick, so he paid more than he needed to, and he told them to keep the change. His friends also got spray painted shirts with their names on it too.

They walked back to the locker that they rented and put their things in it.

"Oh, how I crave fried chickens," Keiji said to them, laughing.

"I know, me too!" shouted Kiyomasa. "I haven't eaten those in a long time!"

"Speaking of chickens, my uncle they were chicken fighting last time without chickens!" Yukimura said, as his eyes sparkled.

"What the hell is chicken fighting without chickens?" Mitsunari stormed.

"It's when your legs are off the ground and you keep kicking each other until the other person's feet falls back down on the floor," Yukimura said, smiling.

"How stupid," Mitsunari said, rolling his eyes.

"You're stupid," Yukimura said, dogging him.

"Shut up, you crybaby," Mitsunari replied.

"So? At least you are a chicken!" Yukimura said, laughing. "Bok-Bok!"

Keiji and his friends started laughing.

"Ohhh!" Keiji shouted. "He just called you a chicken, Nari!"

"I ain't no chicken," Mitsunari stormed.

"Yeah you are! Bok-Bok!" Masanori said, laughing.

"Bok-Bok," Sakon also said, laughing.

"Man, all of you guys need to shut up! Cuz I ain't no chicken! And I'll prove it!" Mitsunari replied.

"What are you going to do then?" Sakon asked.

Keiji looked around and saw a pretty girl with long, black hair.

"Oh! I know!" Keiji stormed. "Go ask that girl over there to go on a roller coaster ride with you!" he said, pointing to that girl.

Mitsunari looked at her. "Fine. I'll do it," he said, and started walking to her.

Keiji and his friends looked at each other and laughed. They watched Mitsunari say a couple things to her, as he and the girl got in line for a roller coaster called, "Infinity". They continued laughing, and when it was time for Mitsunari and that girl to go on the ride, they took out their cell phones and put it on video mode. They laughed so much.

The ride began, and the song, "Black and Yellow" by Wiz Khalifa began playing. The ride went straight for five seconds, and then turned right sharply. It started going faster, and it made many turns. Then the ride started going up slowly. Mitsunari looked down, and he had a scared look on his face.

"Hahahah!" laughed Keiji and his friends. "Look at Mitsunari! How adorable!" Keiji shouted.

When the ride went all the way up, the roller coaster swooshed down super fast! Everyone on that ride screamed and screamed, including Mitsunari. The girl that went on the ride with him screamed hekka loud, and held onto Mitsunari closely. As the ride was still going down really fast, the girl's hair flew off her head, and she was bald!

Keiji and his friends laughed so much, as the girl's wig flew softly to the ground. A lot of people were laughing their butts off.

Mitsunari looked at the girl, and screamed so much. He was pushing her away, as she tried to hug him even more. It was the worst nightmare ever!

"Ahhhh! Let go! Let go!" they heard Mitsunari shouting. The ride went back up and flipped backwards three times. "AHHHHHH!" screamed Mitsunari, again. The girl kept holding onto him, as he tried to push her away.

Keiji continued to laugh. "Oh man! This is so going on Facebook!" he shouted.

The ride went a couple more loops and finally stopped. Mitsunari quickly undid the seatbelt and got off the ride. He powerwalked to them, as they laughed.

"Dude! She's freaking bald!" he shouted, turning back to her. She smiled and waved bye to him. He made the face like he was going to vomit.

"Hahahahaha!" Keiji laughed. "And I caught it all on my phone!"

"I feel sick!" Mitsunari stormed. They continued to laugh for five minutes, until Keiji wanted to ride on the merry-go-round.

"Here, record me," Keiji said to Kanetsugu. Keiji, Sakon, and Yukimura got in line and started laughing.

"You guys are so ridiculous," Mitsunari told them, shaking his head, and smiling.

"I know, right?" Keiji said, laughing. He was excited and couldn't wait until it was their turn. Many little kids on that ride were smiling happily, as the fake horses were moving up and down, and going forward. Keiji kept laughing in his mind.

"I want to ride on the donkey one," said Yukimura, laughing.

"I call the goose!" Sakon shouted, laughing too.

Keiji laughed so much, and was so thankful to have some friends who liked to be immature like him sometimes. "And I call the grey horse!" Again, they all laughed so much. Then it was finally their turn.

They all had huge smiles on their faces, and walked over to the animal that they wanted. It was three in a row, and they rode next to each other, only except Keiji was in the middle.

"This horse is tight!" Keiji shouted, laughing. "I'm going to name you Matsukaze!"

"Hahahahaha!" laughed Sakon and Yukimura.

"Hey guys! Videotape us real good!" Keiji shouted to the rest of his friends who were waiting for them. They were laughing.

Then the ice cream song from ice cream trucks started playing. It was remixed with some hip hop beats, and the ride started! The animals started going up and down smoothly, as it went around in circles.

Keiji and all of his friends went nuts! They kept laughing and laughing, and they couldn't stop! It was so funny! After thirty good seconds of laughing, Keiji turned to Kanetsugu, and posed like a model. He opened his lips, trying to make model lips, as the horse went up and down. Then he started laughing all over again! He had never had so much fun in his whole life!

Finally, when the ride was over, Keiji, Sakon, and Yukimura happily got off the ride. They walked to their waiting friends, who were hekka laughing at them. They watched themselves going on that ride and they laughed even more!

After that, they walked over to a balloon game. You had to throw arrows at any balloons, and if you get three balloons, you get a prize. Keiji decided to play. He got three darts for five dollars. He threw the dart and hit two balloons!

"Alright!" Keiji shouted. "Two balloons in one shot!" Then he shot the next dart and hit one balloon. On his last shot, he made three balloons pop. "Yeah!" he shouted, happily. "Six balloons in three shots! What do I win?"

"You win a giant teddy bear," said the guy in charge. He gave Keiji a big Hello Kitty stuffed animal. When they guy gave it to Keiji, he saw Kaihime walking with Nene and Kunoichi. Since Kaihime loved Hello Kitty, he decided to give it to her. He started walking to them.

"Hey Kaihime," Keiji said, smiling, and tapping her shoulder. She turned around and smiled. "This is for you," he said, giving the Hello Kitty to her. Her smile grew, and she gave Keiji a big hug.

"Awww, thanks, Keiji!" she said. "I love it!"

"Yeah, I thought so," Keiji replied, hugging her back. He said hi to Nene and Kunoichi, as they returned it. "Anyways, I'm gonna go back to my boys," he said.

"Okay. Thanks again for the Hello Kitty," Kaihime said, smiling. She waved bye to him, as he did the same.

He walked back to his friends, and Kanetsugu asked them if they wanted to go on the haunted house ride.

"Sure," Keiji said, smiling. "I'll go with….Kiyomasa!"

"I wanna go with Sakon," Yukimura said.

"I'll go with Mitsunari," Kanetsugu said.

"Hey! I'm not going to have a partner!" Masanori said.

"Well, then good," Mitsunari told him. "You can ride alone."

"Fine then, anger boy," Masanori said, laughing.

They got in line and waiting until it was their turn. They could hear people screaming hella loud, and they even heard some little kids crying. The way how the haunted house was designed, it seemed so scary! It even had smoke coming out of it!

It was finally Keiji and Kiyomasa's turn. Keiji sat on the right and Kiyomasa sat on the left. It started going inside the house! The first thing they heard was a witch laughing. The room was pitch black and they couldn't see anything! Then a quick stroke of lightning came out, and Keiji saw fake dead bodies on the floor. The room became pitch black again, and it scared the shit out of him!

"Oh fuck!" Keiji said, scooting close to Kiyomasa, as Kiyomasa did the same. The ride stopped for a few seconds. Then they heard zombie moaning sounds. All of a sudden, there was a flash of light that kept turning on and off, on and off, on and off, as they saw the dead bodies slowly getting up! "Ahhhhh!" Keiji shouted. One of the dead body started walking towards him, as he screamed even louder.

When the dead body got real close to him, the ride started moving. Everything was pitch black again. The ride continued going straight, and out of nowhere, they heard the grudge's dry voice playing. The ride stopped, and Keiji and Kiyomasa looked at each other. A light came on for three seconds, and they were in the room in front of the stair in the grudge's house! Then the lights turned off again.

The grudge's voice was getting louder, and in five seconds, the lights turned back on. Keiji and Kiyomasa saw the grudge lady at the top of the stairs! They both screamed hella loud! The lights turned back off, and when it came back on, she was halfway down the stairs! Her voice was real loud now! Then the lights turned off, as Keiji and Kiyomasa screamed to death!

"Oh shit! Oh shit!" Keiji shouted. The lights turned back on and the grudge lady was at the bottom of the stairs! She was in a bag, and she was bleeding all over the place! For once, Keiji had never felt so scared before! Once again, the lights turned off.

"Keiji, I'm scared," Kiyomasa said, hugging Keiji.

"Me too," Keiji said. The room was dark for many seconds now. Suddenly, Keiji felt something touching his right shoulder. The light quickly came on, as Keiji saw the grudge in front of his face! "AHHHHHHH!" Keiji shouted, as Kiyomasa shouted too! The lights went off, and when it came back on, the grudge was next to Kiyomasa! They both screamed again.

The lights turned off, and when it came back on, the grudge was gone! Right before the lights turned off, they saw the little boy, Toshio, run down into the living room, just where they were going to be headed to.

"Hell naw," Kiyomasa said. The room was black again, and the ride started moving to the direction where Toshio ran to. Suddenly, Keiji felt something run past him, and as it did, he heard a little boy say, "Toshio," and ran off.

"Ahhhh!" Keiji shouted. Then they were brought into a different room. There was a whole bunch of TV's in front of them. Suddenly, the TV's started turning on, one after the other, and a whole bunch of little girls started coming out of them! They had long, black hair, and their skin were blue! They were walking to them with their hands out, like zombies. Keiji and Kiyomasa screamed again, and the ride started going a different direction. They both turned back to look at the little girls, and they saw them hopping after them! The both screamed again!

The next room was very dark and smoky. Keiji looked at the ground, and saw a grave that wrote "RIP".

"We're at a cemetery!" Kiyomasa whispered to Keiji. Chills ran up their spines!

The ride suddenly stopped, as they saw a girl in a white dress, with her back turned to them. She slowly turned her head to them, and her eyes were all white!

"Ahhhh!" Keiji and Kiyomasa shouted. She started to float to them, as they screamed even louder! Right before she reached them, the room went black again, and the ride started moving. In a bit, they heard dead moaning voices again. Finally, flashing light came on and off really fast, as the ride started to feel like a roller coaster! The song "115" by Elena Siegeman started playing. It was the song from Black Ops Zombie Kino Der Toten, after you find the three meteors.

Then they both realized that they were being chased by zombies! A whole bunch of them! They screamed to the top of their lungs! The zombies were as fast as human beings, and that's why Keiji and Kiyomasa screamed so loud. They were being chased for two whole minutes, and they entered a room that wrote escape on it. It was really dark, until they saw light again. They were finally finished with the ride!

They were so happy to get off the ride, because they had never felt so scared before in their whole lives!

"That ride was hella scary, dude!" Kiyomasa said to Keiji. Then they began laughing about it. "The part that scared me the most was the grudge lady!"

"I know, right?" Keiji replied. "The part that scared me was the grudge, and the little girls hopping after us! That scared the shit out of me!"

They were both talking about the ride, until their friends came out. They realized that Masanori had rode on it alone, and Keiji felt so bad for him.

"Were you scared?" Keiji asked Masanori.

"Only the whole time!" Masanori replied, laughing. "I am never going to ride on that ride ever again."

"Me neither," Keiji replied, as the rest agreed with him.

After the haunted house, Keiji and his friends rode on a roller coaster called, "Beast". It was hella scary, because it went upside down a lot, and it went hekka fast too. Then they rode on a spaceship ride. There were no belts or anything, because there was a magnet thingy that held on to everyone who rode it. The ride was the fastest ride that they had rode on, and it made them feel sick. When they came out, they felt like throwing up, because that ride only spun in a circle.

Keiji's friends wanted to play more games, but he felt like sitting down, so he wouldn't feel so sick. His friends went to a game booth nearby, while he sat down and touched his phone. He looked around at all the rides. Suddenly, something caught his eyes.

He looked at a gate nearby, and saw someone climbing in! He looked closely, and it was Hanzo! He began laughing, because Hanzo had just snuck in without anyone else realizing it! Hanzo turned to him and did the Peace sign to him. Then he walked off and vanished.

_How he is so strange and cool_, Keiji thought to himself. _I wish I knew how to do that!_

In a bit, he saw Hanzo hiding behind a trashcan and spying on someone. He looked to where Hanzo was looking at, and saw Nagamasa and Oichi together. He thought that Hanzo was probably jealous of them or something. As Nagamasa and Oichi walked away, Nagamasa's cell phone fell out of his pocket without him realizing it. Then Keiji saw Hanzo walk to the cell phone and pick it up. He saw Hanzo's evil smile.

_What a badass_, Keiji thought to himself again.

"Keiji? Earth to Keiji?" said Sakon, standing in front of Keiji. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Keiji replied, not knowing how long Sakon had been calling his name.

"Do you want to eat yet?" Sakon asked.

"Sure," Keiji replied. He felt a little bit better. He and his friends walked over to the food court. He order some pizza and some fried chicken, along with soda. The food was so delicious, that he had to go for round two. He ate some more, and before he knew it, he felt all better now. When his friends finished eating, they got in line for the bumper car.

"I call the red ride," Keiji told his friends, and laughed. When it was their turn, he powerwalked to a red one. When all the cars were full, the song, "DJ Got Us Falling in Love" by Usher started playing, as everyone started driving and crashing into each other. Keiji smiled real big and rode after Yukimura. Yukimura was screaming, as Keiji crashed into him.

"All right!" Keiji shouted, laughing. Then he started driving after Mitsunari. Mitsunari saw him coming and began driving away.

"Get away from me!" Mitsunari shouted, as Keiji quickly turned the wheel and crashed into him. He laughed so much, and began driving after Sakon. He also turned his car and bumped into Sakon's. They laughed it out and before Keiji knew it, he rode after Kiyomasa and bumped into him. After that, a little boy bumped into Keiji, as Keiji laughed. Then he rode after Masanori and bumped into his car. He turned and saw Kanetsugu riding past him. He smiled and drifted after Kanetsugu. Kanetsugu saw him coming and made a U-turn. Keiji quickly drifted and crashed into Kanetsugu in slow motion. Then all the cars froze, as it was time for them to get out.

"That was fun!" Keiji shouted, laughing.

"I swear. You never stop laughing," Mitsunari told him.

"I know, right?" Keiji said, still laughing.

After that, they went to watch four little pigs race. The pigs were so cute and little! One of the pigs was dressed in red. Another one was dressed in green. The other one was dressed in blue, and the last one was dressed in yellow. When they got released to race, the red one was in the lead. It ran all the way to the finish line, and it was so adorable!

"Aww, they're so cute," Keiji said, laughing and taking pictures of the pigs. The one in yellow came in second place, the blue one came in third place, and the green one came in last. When they pig race was over, they walked over to see the cows and horses. They were awfully humongous, and they smelled like poop.

"Ew, it stinks. Let's get out of here," Yukimura suggested. They agreed and left.

They went back to the rides and got in line for the Ferris Wheel. They all rode on it together since it was big, and could fit about eight peoples. When it went all the way up, they saw the whole fair, and it was so beautiful!

After that ride, the fair was closing, so everybody had to leave. They all went to the locker that they rented, and took out all of their things. Keiji had so much fun that day, and he dropped off all his friends home. When he got home, he quickly showered and went to bed. He dreamed about the fair; the part where the girl's wig came off and he laughed a lot. He woke up laughing, and smelled the scent of rotten eggs, realizing that he had farted silently. He laughed again, and fell back asleep.


	24. Chapter 24 Misunderstanding

On Monday, Keiji's mom dropped him off at school. He began walking into the school when he heard some commotions that caught his attention real good.

"Babe! If you would only listen to me!" he heard Nagamasa shouting, walking after Oichi. She was ignoring him, and was walking away from him. Keiji laughed on the inside, and he knew that Hanzo had something to do with it, since he took Nagamasa's cell phone at the fair. He thought it was very entertaining, so he continued watching.

"Don't call me babe!" Oichi shouted. "I'm not your babe anymore!"

"I'm telling you, it wasn't me!" Nagamasa replied. "I don't even know what's going on! I don't even have my phone anymore! I lost it at the fair!"

"Liar! You text me that you were only using me! So leave me alone!" Oichi said, pushing him away.

"But Babe!" Nagamasa said, grabbing her arm. "You should know that I'll always love you and will never do that to you!"

"Well, I don't love you anymore, so leave me alone!" she exclaimed, slapping Nagamasa on his left cheek. He let go of her and touched his cheek.

"OOOHHHHHH!" shouted some people nearby.

_Damn_, Keiji thought to himself. _That must've hurt!_

"Babe…You slapped me…," Nagamasa said, looking down. "I am not happy at all…"

"So? You think I'd care about someone who's cheating on me and only using me?" she exclaimed.

"I'm not-" Nagamasa said, as she interrupted him.

"Save it! I don't want to hear it anymore!" she said, holding her hands up.

"Fine! Fine!" Nagamasa replied angrily. "If you want to believe some fake shit that I didn't even do, then you don't deserve to be my girlfriend!"

"Shut up! You were never my boyfriend!" Oichi shot back.

"OOOOOHHHHH!" shouted the same people nearby.

"You know what? I don't even know you anymore," Nagamasa said, as he started walking off.

"You don't know me anymore? Sorry, but we've never even met," Oichi replied, walking the opposite direction.

"OOOOOHHHH!" shouted the same people again.

On the inside, Keiji laughed and laughed. He knew that Oichi had misunderstood Nagamasa big time. It was like one of those drama movies where couples are so happy at first, and then some fake shit comes and tears them apart. And after that, one of them will find out the truth, and they will take down the person causing the trouble. And then, it's happily ever after for the couple again.

From a bush nearby, he saw Hanzo laughing and pointing at Nagamasa. He laughed so loud, and was rolling back and forth on the ground, but because of his magical powers, or whatever he called it, only Keiji could see him doing it, since Keiji already knew about his powers. Keiji thought that it was so funny how he was laughing so much, and nobody else saw.

Keiji had such a big smile on his face, and couldn't take it anymore. He bursted out laughing, and people were looking at him like he was some kind of weirdo or something, but he didn't care, because after all, he loved being weird. Hanzo saw Keiji laughing at him, so he tried to out laugh him in a way where no one else would see him, but Keiji.

"HAHAHAH!" Hanzo laughed, looking directly at Keiji's eyes.

"HAHAHAHAHA!"Keiji laughed, looking right back at him.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Hanzo laughed again.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Keiji laughed.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Hanzo laughed.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Keiji laughed.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Hanzo laughed.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Keiji laughed. He enjoyed this so much!

"HAHAHA-" Hanzo began, but was interrupted.

"Quit laughing so loud, you unbehaved kid!" stormed an old lady. Her name was Ms. Dorothy, and Keiji had her for his freshmen English class. From what Keiji knew, she hated him. "Shall you take a trip to time out?"

"Shore!" Keiji shouted, laughing. He thought that it was very funny. "Just kidding!" he quickly said, before "they" actually got a time out slip.

"Too late! Since you think it's very funny, I'll be more than happy to give you one!" Ms. Dorothy said, filling out a time out slip.

"Nooo!" Keiji shouted. Before he knew it, he got the time out slip. "Awww. Then what about that guy? Is he getting one?" he said, pointing to Hanzo, realizing that Hanzo was already gone. That cracked him up so much.

Since he still had twenty minutes till class started, he decided to serve his time out, which was about ten minutes only. He walked to the time out room and sat down by a window that was opened. He was sitting still for about two minutes when he saw Hanzo poking his head out at him.

Before he knew it, he ended up snickering.

"No laughing!" shouted the lady in charge. She was reading a book.

Keiji stopped laughing, and since he was curious to know why Hanzo did that to Nagamasa, he slowly took out a piece of paper and wrote on it. He wrote, 'Why did you do that to Nagamasa and Oichi?' and gave it to Hanzo. Hanzo snuck inside and criss-cross applesauced next to him. Keiji almost laughed, but forced himself not to.

Hanzo began writing on the paper and Keiji turned back to the lady in charge to make sure that she wasn't looking. The coast was cleared. Hanzo gave the paper back to Keiji. He wrote, 'You want to know? McDonald afterschool'.

_McDonald afterschool?_ Keiji thought to himself. He began laughing out loud.

"I saaiiid, no laughing!" the lady shouted. She walked to him, and he quickly tried to hide the paper in his backpack, but she quickly snatched it away. Since she was going to read it, he continued laughing anyways. It took her five more times to tell him to stop laughing. All of a sudden, he wondered if the lady saw Hanzo. Keiji turned to look at him, but he was already gone.

_How that kid can get away with anything_, Keiji thought. Then he thought about what Hanzo said. _Maybe Hanzo and Nagamasa got into a fight at McDonald afterschool one time. Or maybe it was afterschool one time, and Hanzo was hungry, so he went to McDonald and there was a long line, and Nagamasa cut him. Or what if Nagamasa stole Hanzo's hambuger from McDonald one time afterschool?_ This all made sense to him.

He also thought that it was healthy that Hanzo had did that, because when Nagamasa and Oichi actually get back together, they will grow stronger and hopefully they won't make the same mistake again. Finally, he got let out of the time out room.

When the bell rang, he went to his first period class. Today, the teacher paired everyone up to work on an assignment where you produce something and sell it to the class. They don't actually make the product, because it was all make believe only.

Keiji's partner was Magoichi. Instead of thinking about what they were going to produce, Magoichi decided to tell Keiji about this girl who lived next door to him for quite a while now.

"She is so cute," Magoichi said to Keiji. "I've always told myself that the girl next door to my house would be my lover. And voila! A cute girl moved in right before school started!"

"What's her name?" Keiji asked, laughing.

"Her name's Gracia Akechi, but she always plays hard to get," Magoichi replied. "But I like girls like that, because they are the type to not cheat on you. They like serious relationships."

"Really?" Keiji said, laughing.

"Yeah," Magoichi replied. "One time, she slapped me two times and punched me. At first, when I didn't know who was hitting me, it hurted. But when I found out that it was Gracia hurting me, it felt great."

"Hahahaha!" Keiji laughed. "Oh man, you gotta tell me how that happened!"

"Okay," said Magoichi. "It began like this…"

***FLASHBACK***

One week ago, Magoichi went to the library at lunch to check out a book to write a report on for his English class. He walked aisle to aisle, and found a book that caught his eyes. It was called, "Girl Language". It was about what girls really meant when they talked. For example, if a girl pushes a guy and tells him to go away, she's actually saying, "Hug me and don't let go!".

Magoichi was really into girl language, because he loved females. He held on to the book with his right hand, when suddenly, something slapped his right cheek from behind.

"Whack!" went the sound, as pain rushed onto his cheek.

He quickly turned around and said, "Ow! Who the heck slapped me?", but no one was around. He was confused, but ignored it. He opened the book and scammed through the pages.

And then, "Whack!"

He got slapped on his left cheek. He quickly turned around again, but there was no one around. It scared him, so he thought to himself that he should leave. He turned to his left and took a step while blinking.

And then, "PAW!" He got punched one the nose! It hekka hurted! He quickly opened his eyes and saw Gracia in front of him.

"Move!" she shouted.

Then a smile formed on his face as the pain went away.

***PRESENT***

"And that's how I totally fell in love with Gracia," Magoichi said, laughing. "It wasn't the pain of hate, but the pain of love," he continued, as they both cracked up.

"I'm telling her you said that," Nene said, from behind them.

"Go ahead. I want her to know anyways," Magoichi said, laughing.

Nene shook her head at them and laughed.


	25. Chapter 25 Hanzo's Reason

As Keiji's classes went on, he continued thinking to himself about why Hanzo said, "McDonald afterschool". He was just so curious about it. He put his thinking cap on, and a light bulb formed in his head!

_Maybe he wants to tell me what happened between him and Nagamasa at McDonald afterschool_, he thought happily. Deep inside, he knew that it had to be the right answer.

When the bell rang to go home, he told his friends that he was going to meet up with someone. He quickly left before his friends got a chance to question why. He walked to McDonald and got in line to order a meal, since he skipped lunch. When it was his turn to order, he walked happily to the cashier.

"Hi. I'd like a large number one," he said, smiling. The cashier took his order. The large number one came with a Big Mac, large fries, and a large soda.

"Will that be it?" asked the cashier.

"Yeah," Keiji replied, paying for it.

"Your order is number 281," said the cashier, giving him his receipt.

"Okay. Thanks," he said, taking it. He walked to a table and sat on it. Then he took out his cell phone and listened to "Scream," by Usher. He bobbed his head up and down, and thought he was very cool. When he looked in front of him, there stood Hanzo. Keiji flinched back and began laughing. "You scared me!" he shouted, as a piece of spit came out. He laughed even more.

"Hm," said Hanzo, rolling his eyes. "You scared _me_."

"Ahah!" Keiji laughed. "I did?"

"Tch. No, stupid," Hanzo replied.

Keiji laughed more and thought that Hanzo was so cool and hilarious. "So um, what happened between you and Nagamasa?" he managed to ask, as an employee brought him his food.

"That fag…" Hanzo said, as he began explaining what happened between them.

***Flashback***

One week ago, Hanzo walked to McDonald afterschool, because he was hungry. He ordered two double cheeseburgers, a large soda, some large fries, and an ice cream sundae. For some reason, he didn't want anyone seeing him eat, so he hid behind a dumpster by McDonalds. He sniffed his burger, because it smelled so delicious. It was so edible that he could already taste it in his mouth. He opened the burger and got ready to eat.

"How beautifully delicious you are," he secretly told the burger. "I would never hurt such an amazing burger like you."

Just then, he took a sharp bite of the burger and began laughing so loud, but no one heard him. All of a sudden, a soccer ball flew and hit his hand, as his burger went flying away.

"Bitch!" he thought in his mind. He poked his head out behind the trashcan to see who threw the ball at him. It was Nagamasa.

Nagamasa and his friends cracked up, but didn't even know that the ball had hit Hanzo. Hanzo thought that this was Nagamasa's first warning for hitting him with the ball. Still feeling hungry, he opened the other burger and got ready to eat. Right before he took a bite, a basketball flew and hit his head, as his head hit the burger on his hand and fell down into the dirt.

"Motherfff!" he began, but no one heard him. This time, Nagamasa made a fist with his right hand and held it against his mouth as he laughed. "That bitch thinks that he's so cool, huh?" Hanzo thought, giving Nagamasa an attitude. He grabbed his soda and stared hard at Nagamasa. He barely took a sip of it when BAM! A football hit his face!

He stood still angrily. When he turned to Nagamasa, Nagamasa was cracking up even more than ever before. He thought that Nagamasa was such an asshole and was going to get it one day. Hanzo stood up and grabbed his ice cream sundae when a volleyball hit the ice cream as it fell. He turned again and quickly ducked before anything hit him, but unfortunately, a red ball came flying and hit the top of his head as he fell down. He smashed his fries and now he had nothing to eat.

He thought that stupid Nagamasa should've thought twice about throwing balls, because he just made the biggest mistake of his life. Hanzo stared hard like an eagle and watched Nagamasa and his stupid friends walk away laughing.

***Present***

"And that's why I took his cell phone and wrote crap to Oichi, making her think it was Nagamasa," Hanzo said, looking down.

"Oh damn," Keiji said laughing, and finishing the rest of his big mac. "Are you glad that they aren't together right now?"

"Hell yeah," Hanzo replied. "I'm freaken proud of myself, shoot. That foo got what he deserved."

"Hahahahah!" Keiji laughed. How Hanzo entertained him so much!

When he got home later that day, the first thing he did was fart like "THARN".

"Oh Jesus!" shouted an old lady that sounded familiar. Keiji smiled very big and ran into the kitchen.

"Grandma!" he shouted, giving his grandmother a big hug. She had on an apron and was eating Trix yogurt. She was also making eggrolls. "How I missed you so much!"

"Oh, how I missed you too, dear," said his grandmother, returning the hug and putting the Trix yogurt aside. "And were you the one who just farted?"

"No," Keiji said, trying to be serious. "Why?"

"I thought I heard you fart when you came inside?" she said, confused.

"Grandma, I don't know what you're talking about," he said. "Maybe it's because you're old and you're hearing things. It's a natural thing. Not dangerous." He almost laughed but forced himself not to.

"Okay then," replied his grandmother. "But I could've sworn I heard someone fart."

"What if it was you, grandma?" he said, looking at her.

"It wasn't me," she said. "It came from the living room. That's why I thought it was you."

Keiji couldn't hold on to it anymore that he eventually had to laugh.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" he thundered. "Silly grandma! Trix are for kids!"

"Oh, my!" she shrieked, placing her right hand over her heart.

Keiji laughed and laughed, thinking how of how funny his grandmother was. He loved it when she shrieked, because she always had a funny face whenever she was shocked, surprised, or scared.

"So it _was_ you?" she said, starting to laugh.

"Yeah," he replied laughing. "It was awesome, wasn't it?"

His grandmother made a disgusted face and said no. Again, Keiji cracked up until he wondered where his mother was.

"Hey, where's my mom?" he asked.

"She went to buy the stuffs to make pho," she said.

"Oh boy!" he shouted. But too bad he already ate McDonald. Suddenly, he wondered if Toshiie came. "Hey grandma, did Toshiie come too?" he asked.

"No," she replied. "He went out with his friend, Motochika."

"Oh okay," he said, walking to his room. He layed down on his bed and thought about the past few weeks that passed by. He realized that he was getting a little bored around his house and at school. He needed a little more entertainment, not just from Hanzo, but from himself too. Evil deeds formed in his mind as he smiled and began jotting down some notes….


	26. Chapter 26 Scandal

The next day, Keiji and his friends were chilling in the quad at school during lunch. They were telling stupid jokes to each other and were laughing their butts off.

"What do you get when you put a polar bear and a black bear together?" Sakon said, laughing.

"A polack bear!" Yukimura shouted, as everyone laughed.

"What the hell is a polack bear?" Mitsunari said, rolling his eyes.

"Mmm?" Yukimura replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"So stupid," Mitsunari scolded.

"Stop being so mean to Yuki-chan!" stormed Kiyomasa.

"Ew! Don't call me that!" Yukimura shouted, as Keiji laughed and laughed.

"More like Jose-chan!" Mitsunari said, laughing bitchily.

"AHAHAHAHAH!" laughed Keiji even more. Yukimura rolled his eyes at them, but he did not look scary one bit.

"You're so cute when you get mad," Kiyomasa told him.

"Shut up!" Yukimura shouted.

"You know, if you were a girl, I'd totally date you," Kiyomasa replied, laughing.

"SHUT UP!" Yukimura shouted again. "Stop trying to be gay with me, stupid Kiyomasa!"

"I'm not trying to baby, cause we're already gay," Kiyomasa said.

"EWWWW!" Yukimura screamed, slapping Kiyomasa's arm.

"Ow," Kiyomasa said, laughing. "You hurt me. Now you better marry me, honey."

"No!" Yukimura shouted.

"Hey, back to the question," Sakon said, smiling.

"A burnt white guy?" answered Masanori.

"Nope," Sakon said.

"A ghost?" said Kanetsugu.

"Nope," Sakon said. "Keep guessing."

"A skunk!" Keiji shouted, laughing.

"Good one, but not right," Sakon replied.

"Then what do you get?" Keiji asked, pausing to prepare himself to laugh out loud.

"A panda!" Sakon shouted, laughing.

"AHAHAHAHAHAH!" Keiji laughed, as he farted like "Thorn!" He laughed so much that his laughter became quiet. It looked like he had seizure, only except he was laughing without a sound.

"Ugh!" shouted Mitsunari, covering his nose.

"That was awesome!" he shouted, as he continued laughing silently. All his friends laughed too and in a bit, they continued their jokes.

"What do you call a black man with an afro?" Masanori asked, smiling.

"A boom box," said Sakon, cracking up.

"No," said Masanori.

"A rotten drumstick ice cream?" asked Kiyomasa.

"Ahahahaha," laughed his friends.

"Nope," Masanori said, laughing.

"I know!" shouted Keiji. "A microphone!"

"Ahahahahahaha! Yeah, that's right!" Masanori said, cracking up.

"You guys are hella racist," Mitsunari said, as he smiled, trying not to laugh.

"So unhonorable!" Kanetsugu shouted, shaking his head. He didn't even laugh or smile.

"Hey!" shouted a security guard. "You guys aren't supposed to be telling racist jokes!"

"Hahahah!" laughed Keiji. "We were only playing around!"

The security guard looked at him straight in the eye. He was African American and they could tell that he had been offended by the joke.

"All right. Since you guys think it's very funny, you guys better make your way to the Principal's office right now," said the security guard. Keiji looked at his nametag and it was Carlito.

"Gee, Carlito," Keiji began. "I would love to, but no thanks."

"Go!" he thundered, as Keiji and his friends flinched.

"Just me or them too?" he said, pointing to his friends.

"All of you!" he shouted. "Now go!"

"I didn't even-" Kanetsugu said, as he got interrupted.

"GOOO!" he boomed. "And not another word!"

Keiji and his friends looked at each other and began walking. While walking, Keiji thought it was very funny, so he laughed all the way to Principal Takeda's office.

"So much for telling jokes," Kanetsugu said. "Now my parents will be very happy to know that I got sent to the principal's office."

"Aww, cheer up, son," Keiji said, as a great idea popped into his mind. He smiled real big.

"What are you up to?" Kiyomasa asked him.

Keiji smiled at them. "Ya'll wanna ditch?"

"Uh, no!" Kanetsugu shouted.

"Okay. I'm down for it," said Kiyomasa.

"Ummmm, okay," said Yukimura. He looked unsure about it though.

"I can't," said Sakon. "If I ditch, that stupid Takon Jima might surpass me on being the number one valedictorian of our class."

Keiji and his friends began laughing. Takon Jima is Sakon's biter. He always tried to act like Sakon and dress like him. Sometimes, Takon and Sakon take turns being the number one valedictorian, and they were very competitive about it.

"Aw, come one," said Keiji. "You are a million times more smarter than that Takon."

"Yeah, I know," Sakon replied, smiling. "But I just want to make sure that no one ever tops me down."

"Hahah, you're so funny," Keiji responded, chuckling. "And you wanna know what's even more funnier?"

"What," asked Sakon.

"Both of your names rhyme! Get it? Sakon Shima and Takon Jima!" Keiji shouted, as everyone laughed.

"So are you going to ditch with us or not?" asked Kiyomasa to Sakon.

"Eh, I guess so. Even if that Takon gets ahead of me, I will always top him," Sakon replied.

"That's the spirit!" said Keiji.

"So unhonor-" Kanetsugu began, as Keiji interrupted him and imitated him too.

"Unhonorable!" Keiji shouted, finishing the word for Kanetsugu. Everyone laughed.

"I mean it, Keiji," Kanetsugu told him.

"I know," Keiji said. "But think about it. Would you rather go into that office and get snitched on, or would you rather chill with your best homies for life?"

"Yeah," said Kiyomasa and Sakon.

Kanetsugu took a deep breath. "Well, I don't want to get in trouble," he said.

"Then go with us!" Masanori shouted.

Kanetsugu sighed again and said, "All right. Just this once."

"Yeah yeah," Keiji said. "Now come on, let's go before that stupid Carlito catches us."

They all quickly ran to the nearest gate where there were no security guards. They all climbed over the gate and ran as fast as they could to the gas station across the street. When they got inside, they laughed their butts off, including Kanetsugu and Mitsunari.

"That was fun!" Keiji shouted, laughing.

"I know!" shouted Masanori.

"I gotta use the restroom," Kanetsugu said, walking into the restroom.

"What if Kiyomasa opens that snicker over there and takes a bite of it and leaves it there?" Yukimura said, as everyone laughed so hard.

"Eww!" Mitsunari said, laughing. "That's disgusting!"

"Hahahah!" laughed Kiyomasa. "I wouldn't chicken out from that."

"Yeah?" Keiji asked, laughing. "Then I dare you to do it!"

Kiyomasa thought for a bit. "Okay," he agreed. "Only in one condition."

"Okay. What is it?" Keiji asked.

"After I take a bite, you have to pick a piece of your hair and curl it as ugly as possible and put it on the snicker," Kiyomasa said, cracking up.

"Ahahahahahaha!" laughed Keiji. He thought it was such a great idea! "Okay!"

"You guys are so ridiculous," Mitsunari said, shaking his head and smiling. "Although that'll be funny, you guys shouldn't do it. Aren't you scared that if you leave a piece of your hair, they can catch you by looking at the dna and investigating who's hair it belongs to?"

"Then that'll be awesome!" Keiji shouted, laughing.

"Are you guys serious?" Masanori asked, smiling.

"I am," Keiji said. "But I'm just not sure if Kato wants to do it."

"I'm down," Kiyomasa said, smiling.

"I'll videotape you guys," Sakon said, snickering.

"Okay," replied Keiji. "But 'shhh' though."

"Okay," he replied.

Keiji smiled so big as he watched Kiyomasa grab a snicker bar. Then he secretly opened it and looked at them. They all snickered softly, as he took a bite of it.

Keiji almost laughed, but didn't, because he didn't want Kiyomasa to get caught. After Kiyomasa took a bite of the snicker, he pointed to Keiji's hair. Keiji smiled and pulled a piece of his blonde hair. He put it in between two of his nails and slid it through very fast. It curled so ugly, and they all snickered kinda loud. Then he walked to Kiyomasa and took the snicker. He placed his hair on the caramel part of the snicker and almost laughed out loud. Then he put it back on the candy shelf.

Keiji and his friends were definitely ready to laugh. Suddenly, Kanetsugu walked up to them and looked confused. He didn't know what they were up to. Mitsunari tapped Kanetsugu's shoulder and pointed to the snicker, and then pointed to Kiyomasa and Keiji. Kanetsugu looked at the snicker and widened his eyes. He mouthed, "So unhonorable!" as Keiji and his friends ran out of the store and began laughing their butts off.

"Man, that was awesome!" Keiji shouted, laughing so hard.

"And check this out," Sakon said, showing them a picture of the snicker with Keiji's hair on it. He had taken a picture of it just before they ran out. After seeing the picture, everyone laughed and laughed.

"How dare you guys be so unhonorable in the store?" Kanetsugu said, looking at them, as they laughed.

"Cause it was fun!" Keiji said, laughing. Kanetsugu shook his head at them as they laughed.

After that, they chilled at a Mexican restaurant nearby, and ditched their sixth period classes. They decided that they would go back to their seventh period Haiku class, because they all had it together.


	27. Chapter 27 Wild Ones

"Man, that was a bombass burrito," Keiji said, as he and his friends walked back on campus. They looked around to make sure that there were no security guards around.

"I know," said Kiyomasa, as they climbed over the gate. They snuck from bush to bush and building to building. The bell rang and students came out of their classrooms, making their way to their seventh period classes.

"Hey, let's blend in with the students," said Masanori. They quickly walked to a group of students and began walking, as if they just got out of class too. They walked to their Haiku class and sat down. In a bit, the bell rang, so their class began.

"Hello students," said Mrs. Okuni. "I have good news for all of you."

"OH BOY!" Keiji stormed, as he began laughing. "I love good news!"

"What is it?" asked the class. They were curious to know.

"We are all going on a fieldtrip!" Mrs. Okuni shouted happily.

"Yaaaay!" shouted the students.

"Ahhhh! Oh my god! Oh my god!" screamed Keiji. He was excited! "Where to? Where to?"

"Okay, calm down Keiji," Mrs. Okuni said, smiling. "We are going camping at Crystal Mountains."

_Uh-oh _Keiji thought. _That place is haunted!_

"How can we go camping there?" he exclaimed. "It's haunted!"

"Oh, I'm sure it's not," replied Mrs. Okuni. "I've been camping there many times and I've never seen anything supernatural."

"I'm scared!" shouted Yukimura. "One time, my cousins went camping there and they took a picture and saw a see through man in the background! It was a ghost!"

"We can't go there, Mrs. Okuni!" objected Masanori. "We just can't!"

"We're scared!" shouted some girls in the class.

"I'm scared of ghosts!" said some other girls.

"What if we go there and come back dead?" Yukimura said, shaking.

"Ahhhhhh!" Keiji screamed, hitting his mouth many times, sounding like an indian.

"Noooo!" shouted Kiyomasa and Sakon.

"Okay class, calm down!" Mrs. Okuni said, trying to calm them down. Instead, they became even more wild like the jungle.

Keiji continued going nuts and hitting his mouth while screaming in a high pitch voice. Kiyomasa and Sakon put both of their hands on their heads and began shaking their heads no. Kanetsugu put his head down and shut his eyes real tight. Yukimura jumped up and down while screaming. Masanori pulled both of his ears and stuck his tongue out while shutting his eyes. Mitsunari scratched his head and looked confused.

Oichi made her nose like a pig and put her tongue in between her lips and blew it, making the sound of "plllllllll". Kunoichi posed like she was taking a dump and screamed. Motochika pulled his own hair as far back as possible and made a painful face. Toshiie scratched his thighs and shouted, "Nooo!". Goemon put his bottom lip inside his mouth and pounded on his desk real hard. Magoichi ran around the class screaming. Hanzo sat still and watched everyone doing stupid things.

"Why are you all so afraid of ghosts?" Hanzo asked, looking at them. "One way or another, you will all become ghosts too, so stop being so stupid."

The class screamed even louder.

"Ahhh!" shouted the students. They all ran away from each other, because supposedly, "they were all ghosts" one way or another.

Keiji ran and hid underneath Mrs. Okuni's desk. He peeked at her and saw her pink underwear, since she wore a skirt. He quickly shut his eyes and screamed even louder, while hitting his mouth. Then everyone started throwing things at each other. Someone threw a teddy bear at Keiji and he screamed like there was no tomorrow.

"AHHHHHH!" he shouted, picking up the teddy bear and throwing it wherever. It hit Yukimura, as he screamed so loud. Things flew around the class and Keiji realized that he had to go somewhere else, because there were too many "ghosts" around him. "MOOOVEEEE!" he shouted, pushing anyone that got in his way. He saw Motochika throwing a piece of gum at him and quickly dodged it. Then Kiyomasa threw a pencil at him, and he also dodged it. Before he knew it, Mitsunari threw a ball at him. It flew in slow motion.

Keiji's eyes slowly widened, as he did a back bend in slow motion. His left arm swung in a circle followed by his right. The ball scanned his body and flew past him.

"METRIX!" he shouted. Then he quickly did a backflip and landed on his foot. He somersaulted and got back on his foot. He quickly ran, jumped, and twirled in the air, putting his hands together on top of his head like a ballet dancer. When he landed on his foot, he lost his balance and fell down.

"Breh," went the sound of his butt.

"Excuse you, Keiji," said Mrs. Okuni. Everyone began laughing at him.

He rubbed his eyes several times and looked at the class. They were all in their seats, and so was he. He realized that he had been imagining the class go wild, and that Crystal Mountains was haunted, but the only thing that was real was when he farted.

"Oops, my bad," he said, laughing too. They enjoyed their laughter for a few minutes and pretty soon, Mrs. Okuni talked about the field trip again.

Crystal Mountains is a beautiful place to go camping. It has a nice waterfall that pours down so beautifully. The air and water is really refreshing and it also has a place to go swimming. Mrs. Okuni said that when they go camping, they will all need to bring a tent, or they can share with someone. They will be camping for the weekend. Mrs. Okuni also went over the things that they will need to bring, such as sleeping stuffs, toothbrush, toothpaste, clothes, shoes, and etc.

"I will now hand out the permission slips," Mrs. Okuni said, handing out permission slips to everyone. "I will need it back by Thursday if you guys are going. Also, please remember that we will be leaving on Friday afterschool."

"Okay," shouted everyone.

Later that day when Keiji got home, he gave his permission slip for his mom to sign. He was really excited, and he added more entertaining things on his list of things to do when they go camping. He couldn't wait to play all the funny pranks that he had in mind, and before he knew it, it was Friday.


	28. Chapter 28 Camping

The students that were going camping did not have to go to school today. Instead, they got to stay home and pack all the things that they were going to need. When it was time to meet up at school, everyone was so excited. The weather was pretty hot that day.

Keiji was the first of his friends to get to school. Then Yukimura, Kiyomasa, Sakon, Mitsunari, Kanetsugu, and Masanori came. There were 24 students total that were going. Some students that weren't even in their Haiku class got to tag along, such as Kaihime, Ina, Himiko, and Nene.

They were all chilling together until the VIA bus came. Now they were even more excited than before. Keiji and his buddies sat all the way in the back. He sat with Yukimura, Kiyomasa sat with Sakon, Masanori sat with Kanetsugu, and Mitsunari sat by himself. During the trip, they talked about funny things that have happened to them.

"Remember the time when you pushed Suzy and she got stuck on top of the building and was screaming for help but no one heard her?" Yukimura said to Keiji, as they both cracked up.

"Oh yeah, I remember that! Hahaha," Keiji laughed, hugging Yukimura. "That wouldn't have happened if she didn't make the wrong decision to lay her finger on ya!"

"Remember when we were wasted and you were trying to fly, Keiji?" Sakon asked him, laughing.

"No," Keiji replied, smiling. "I do not recall. I was so wasted that I didn't even remember what had happened that night."

"That night was hella crazy," said Masanori, laughing. "I think most of us ended up kissing each other on the cheek! Hahahah!"

"I don't remember what happened that night either," Kiyomasa said, smiling. "But I knew was that I had an awesome time."

"You guys made me drink and before I knew it, I passed out," said Kanetsugu. "As a matter of fact, I don't even think I played spin the bottle with you guys."

"You didn't," said Sakon.

"Hey what are you guys going to do for Thanksgiving break?" asked Yukimura.

Keiji thought for a bit and remembered what he was going to do. "I'm going to Texas with my uncle!" he shouted happily. He almost forgot about it but thank god Yukimura had asked, or else he would've forgotten. "It's going to be me, my uncle, and I think Toshiie! My uncle already booked us a ticket!"

"Lucky you," said Mitsunari.

"What's your problem?" Keiji asked him.

"I have to go to Japan with my grandparents," Mitsunari replied.

"Sounds fun!" Keiji said, laughing.

"Shut up," Mitsunari replied, as they all laughed.

The rest wasn't sure about what they were going to do for Thanksgiving break yet. For the meantime, they sang the song "Whistle" by Flo Rida. Keiji sang the chorus the loudest.

"Can you blow my whistle, baby, whistle, baby? Let me know. Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it and we start real slow. You just put your lips together and you come real close. Can you blow my whistle, baby, whistle baby? Here we go," they sang, as they began whistling. This was one of Keiji's favorite songs.

"Man, I love this song," Keiji said, smiling. He heard this song many times and knew the whole lyrics. After that song, they sang the song "Two Reasons" by Trey Songz and T.I. They sang the clean version, because they liked it better than the original version.

"I only came here for two reasons, I can't lie. I only came for the ladies and the drinks. Ladies and the drinks. Ladies and the drinks. For the lay, ca-came for the ladies and the drinks," they sang, bobbing their heads up and down. This was another one of Keiji's favorite songs.

After that, they sang many more songs and finally reached the mountains. Crystal Mountains was still an hour away from the start of the mountains. The weather changed and it began to get cold. In twenty five minutes, a great idea popped up into Keiji's mind.

"Hey everyone, let's all sing 'The wheels on the bus go round and round!'" he shouted, as everyone nodded in agreement.

They began singing, "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round. The wheels on the bus go round and round, all through the town!"

They sang it again, only this time, instead of saying 'town' they were going to say 'mountain'. "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round. The wheels on the bus go round and round, all through-" they sang, as the bus driver pushed the brake sharply.

"ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" went the screech of the brake.

"AHHHHHH!" they all shouted. Keiji screamed the loudest. Everyone's heads quickly moved forward and then backwards really fast. They all looked out their windows and realized that the bus almost fell down the cliff! It was literally one inch away from falling!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they screamed again. They were all terrified.

"Calm down!" shouted the bus driver. He told them that they had to be quiet so he could concentrate on driving safely.

Everyone tried to be calm, but deep inside they were all scared, especially Keiji. He was a young adult and he loved his life the way it was. He wasn't ready and didn't want to die yet. Kanetsugu prayed to God that everything would be okay. Then the bus driver began driving again.

Everyone shut their eyes because they didn't want to start panicking again. They were all quiet until the bus finally stopped.

"Ok everyone. We're here. You can all open your eyes now," said the bus driver. They were all happy that they made it there alive!

"I am alive!" Keiji shouted, laughing.

"You're stupid," insulted Mitsunari.

"Ahah! Guys, I'm alive!" Keiji said, turning to his friends with a huge smile.

"Thank goodness," said Kanetsugu. He thanked God for helping them arrive at Crystal Mountains alive. Everyone got their things and looked for a spot to put their tent on. Keiji wanted their tent to be close to trees so that they could have shade if it got hot.

Keiji, Yukimura, Kiyomasa, Masanori, Mitsunari, Sakon, and Kanetsugu shared one big tent together. Magoichi, Musashi, Toshiie, and Motochika shared a tent together. Masamune and Nagamasa shared a tent. Goemon and Yoshimoto shared a tent. Oichi and Kunoichi shared a tent. Ginchiyo, Gracia, and Himiko shared a tent, and Kaihime, Ina, and Nene shared a tent. Mrs. Okuni had her own tent.

After setting up their tents, everyone unpacked. Since there were a lot of tree branches, all the guys gathered it together so they could start a fire. The girls made hot dogs and hamburgers for everyone. While eating, they all had to sit in a big circle around the campfire. It was already dark.

"Listen up class," said Mrs. Okuni. "We will be having a bonding night today."

"Cool!" shouted the class. Keiji loved bonding nights because they were fun.

"The first thing I'm going to do is put you guys into groups of six," Mrs. Okuni said. "Group one will be Kunoichi Masamune, Masanori, Hanzo, Mitsunari and Gracia. Group two will be Keiji, Kiyomasa, Yoshimoto, Sakon, Kanetsugu, and Motochika. Group three will be Oichi, Magoichi, Ina, Nene, Musashi, and Kaihime. And last of all, group four will be Goemon, Nagamasa, Ginchiyo, Toshiie, Himiko, and Yukimura."

"What are we going to do?" Keiji asked her.

"Get together in your group first," she replied, as they all got into their groups. "Okay. I'm going to need a person from each group to come and draw out a piece of paper."

"OOH! Me! I want to do it for our group!" Keiji snapped, smiling.

"I'll go for our group," said Kunoichi, smiling.

"I want to choose the paper for us," said Kaihime.

"I'll choose it for us so we can have good luck," Yukimura said, smiling.

Keiji, Kunoichi, Kaihime, and Yukimura walked to Mrs. Okuni. They all drew out a piece of paper at the same time.

"Okay. Now your job is to have you and your teams perform the dance you guys got," said Mrs. Okuni, smiling.

Keiji smiled before opening the piece of paper. After opening it, he began laughing out loud. His team had to do the chicken dance together!

"Ahahahahahahahaha!" he cracked up. He laughed even more, because everyone in his group was a guy. He walked to his group and showed it to them. They began laughing.

Kunoichi opened the paper she got and smiled. Her group had to do the Oppa Gangnam Style. Kaihime opened her paper and they had to do the Macarena dance. Yukimura opened his paper and they had to do the Cha Cha Slide. They all got together with their groups to rehearse for twenty minutes.


	29. Chapter 29 Something Went Wrong

For the chicken dance, Keiji and Kiyomasa were partners. Sakon and Kanetsugu were partners, and Motochika and Yoshimoto were partners. They laughed at each other so much, especially when it was time for them to skip in circles and cross arms with each other.

"When we perform, let's smile real big," Keiji told them, laughing.

"Ew, why," Motochika said, laughing.

"Cuz it'll be funny! That's why!" Keiji exclaimed.

In a bit, everyone had to sit by the campfire. Mrs. Okuni walked to the front and said that Yukimura's group was going to go first. Then Kaihime's group, Kunoichi's group, and Keiji's group.

"Alright!" Keiji shouted, clapping his hand, as Yukimura, Himiko, Toshiie, Ginchiyo, Nagamasa, and Goemon walked up front.

"Are you guys ready?" Mrs. Okuni said, smiling. They nodded their heads as Mrs. Okuni got ready to play the Cha Cha Slide.

They formed a line starting with Yukimura, then Nagamasa, Himiko, Toshiie, Ginchiyo, and Goemon. They all smiled shyly.

"Aww, look at that handsome Jose!" Kiyomasa said, as everyone laughed.

"Shut up," Yukimura said, smiling handsomely.

The Cha Cha Slide Platinum Band began playing. They stood still until the guy in the song said, "And this time, we're gonna get funky". They began moving their right knee forward with their left knee straight back and forth to the beat. Then they began clapping their hands. When it was time for them to move to the left, they did so. Following that, they took a couple steps back and hopped once. Then they stomped their right foot and then their left foot. After that, they all did their own cha cha's.

Yukimura put both his hands on his hips and popped his chest back and forth from left to right. Nagamasa put both of his hands in the air and moved his body back and forth. Himiko put her left hand on her hip and waved her right hand in the air while jumping side to side and lifting her right leg behind her. Toshiie put both his hands out in front of him and stayed still, only except he shook his ass up and down real fast. Ginchiyo made her arms move like she was power walking and she moved her body to the beat. Goemon moved his head up and down and rolled his hands together in a circle.

Everyone laughed at them, especially at Toshiie, because he could groove it and shake it real good.

"Whooo! That's my uncle! That's my uncle!" Keiji shouted, laughing and pointing at Toshiie.

Mitsunari hekka laughed and pointed at Ginchiyo. From siting down, Oichi looked at Nagamasa and their eyes met. She quickly turned away and mugged him.

Yukimura's group continued dancing until their song was finished. Everyone clapped their hands and continued laughing and smiling.

Up next was Kaihime's group. They were going to perform the Macarena Dance. As Kaihime walked up to the front, Keiji smacked her head.

"Ow, bitch!" she said, laughing and hitting Keiji back. He quickly moved his arm and she missed.

"Hah! You missed!" he said laughing. She stuck her tongue at him and walked off.

Kaihime's group also got in a line. It was Kaihime, Ina, Magoichi, Nene, Musashi, and Oichi.

Sakon cheered for Ina and she told him to shut up and look away.

"I will watch you!" Sakon shouted, laughing. "Besides, you owe me a date. Remember?"

"Ew, whatever," she replied, mugging him.

"We made a deal last time while playing Black Ops," Sakon said, smiling. "And you lost the deal so you owe me a date."

"Whatever, Sakon. Leave me alone," she said.

"Damn girl. I love it when you say my name," Sakon replied, laughing. Keiji laughed too.

"Oh yeah? Then go away, you disgusting dirt bag!" she shouted.

"Ouch," Keiji said, laughing. He wondered deep inside if Ina liked Sakon or not. He secretly predicted that she does like him, but doesn't want to show it because of what a perv Sakon was to her.

"Hey!" said Mrs. Okuni. "Are you guys ready yet?"

"Yeah," said Kaihime, smiling beautifully.

The song began playing as Kaihime's group began moving their bodies.

"Ew, look at that ugly bitch Kaihime go!" Keiji said laughing. He loved teasing her because it was so much fun!

"Whatever," she replied, smiling. She knew that she was gorgeous and good looking, so she continued moving her body.

Sakon stared at Ina and watched her move her body. He liked it!

"Man Ina! You got me drooling all over you!" Sakon said, smiling. She rolled her eyes and looked away.

When the guy starts singing, Kaihime's group put their right hands out in front of them, followed by their left hand. After that, they flipped their right hand and their left hand. Then they put their right hand on their left shoulder and their left hand on their right shoulder. After that, they put their right hand on their neck along with their left hand. Following that, they put their right hand on their left hip and their left hand on their right hip. Then they put their right hand on their right side of their butt and put their left hand on their left side of the butt. When they did that, they moved their butt from left to right while bending their knees.

"Whoo! That's my girl Ina!" Sakon said, laughing a lot. Keiji laughed with him too.

"Shut up!" she shouted, mugging him.

Kaihime's group continued doing the same thing over and over again until the song was finished.

Up next was Kunoichi's group. They were going to perform the Oppa Gangnam Style dance and they formed a triangle with Kunoichi in the front. Then Masamune and Masanori were behind her. Behind them two were Hanzo, Gracia, and Mitsunari.

"Shall we start?" Mrs. Okuni asked them.

"Yeah," they replied.

The Oppa Gangnam Style song began playing and they all began dancing. When the chorus played, they crossed their hands out in front of them and rocked it up and down while moving their feet from left to right. They made it seem like they were riding on horses and after rocking their hands up and down, they swung their right hand over their head like cowboys. Out of Kunoichi's group, Hanzo did it the best. He was really good at dancing and it surprised everyone.

"Damn, he's good," Keiji said smiling and clapping his hands. His favorite part of the song was when the guy sings, "Heyyy, sexy ladaayyyy!".

Everyone cheered for Hanzo and began doing the Gangnam dance as well. Keiji was the first of everyone else to get up and start dancing too.

"Come on, ya'll," he said, smiling and dancing. Everyone got up and danced and laughed at each other until the song was over.

Finally it was Keiji's group's turn to dance. Keiji was excited and prepared to laugh at his team as they made their way in front of everyone. Keiji posed like a model by putting both of his hands on his neck and making model lips. He also left his right leg straight and his left leg tippy-toeing. Kiyomasa put his left thumb in his jean pocket and his right hand on his chin. Sakon's back faced everyone and he arched his back with his hands on his hips. He made model lips and looked at everyone. Kanetsugu crossed his arms and smiled at everyone. Motochika bent his knees and held onto it with a blank expression on his face. Yoshimoto put his hands in the air along with his right leg. Everyone hekka laughed at their pose.

When the music began playing, Keiji formed a huge smile and they all began dancing. They threw their hands up in the air and opened and closed it seven times. Then they put their hands right in front of their underarms and flapped their elbows up and down seven times also. After that, they moved their arms as if they were running and they also shook their butts while doing it. They hekka laughed at each other, especially Motochika because his hair flipped and flopped all over the place. They repeated that same process for another two times and then crossed arms with their partners and began skipping. Keiji especially laughed because he knew that he was too humongous to be doing that dance.

While skipping back and forth, Keiji accidently farted.

"BREH!" went the fart of Keiji. Everyone laughed more than ever and Keiji's team stopped dancing and fell to the floor laughing. Keiji was still skipping around and laughing, because he wanted to share the wonderful smell of his rotten eggs.

"Hahahahahahaha!" he laughed joyfully. He skipped past his team and they all covered their noses because it stank like skunk.

"Ugghhh!" shouted his team, laughing.

Then Keiji skipped past his team and headed straight for Kaihime. She was cracking up on the floor and had no idea that he was coming towards her. As he reached her, she quickly turned to him and he ended up farting on her face.

"EWWW!" she exclaimed, laughing and feeling disgusted. Everyone hekka laughed and ran away from him. He chased after them creepily and laughed his butt off. Pretty soon, it got real dark and everyone got inside their tents and got ready to sleep.

Instead of going to sleep, Keiji and his friends decided to tell scary stories.

"And then the voice said…," Sakon trailed off, while using a suspenseful tone.

"What?" Kiyomasa asked. They all held on to their blankets tightly.

"Where are you, Jose?" Sakon said, making a ghostly voice.

Keiji and his friends started laughing except for Yukimura.

"Hey! That's not funny!" Yukimura shouted. "And how many times do I have to tell you? My name's not Jose!"

"Yeah it is!" Mitsunari said, laughing.

"No it's not!" Yukimura argued.

"Yeah it is!" Mitsunari said again.

"Is not!" Yukimura shouted.

"Is too!" Mitsunari replied. "Now shut up."

"Hmph!" Yukimura uttered.

"Do you guys wanna hear one from me?" Mitsunari asked them.

"Sure," they replied.

"Okay," he began. "So it goes like this. Once, long long ago, there lived this vampire who's been living for centuries. He lived in the woods his whole life to stay away from humans, because they always tried to hunt him down for killing their families and friends. In order for the vampire to stay young, he had to drink human blood. His face was purple and he has really long claws. He wears a baggy pant and has long braided red hair that is tied up into a ponytail. He also looks like a monster too because he is a monster. One special technique that he had was that he could transform into any human being he wanted. He could be the ugliest person alive, the handsomest person alive, or even Yukimura aka Jose."

"Eww!" Yukimura interrupted. Keiji and his friends laughed.

"So anyways," Mitsunari continued, "there was this family, a mother, a father, a daughter, and a son, who went camping deep down into the woods where the vampire lived. The vampire was not very happy with these Nutritions setting foot onto his territory so he decided to teach them a lesson. He formed an ugly smile on his face and waited till it got real dark. He didn't know how to talk or anything, but he could hiss like a snake. As he watched the family from a tree, he checked out the young daughter. She was very beautiful and everything, but into his stomach her blood would go in a bit. He couldn't wait to taste it."

"So what did he do next?" Keiji asked.

"After everyone was sound asleep, he jumped down the tree and walked to the parent's tent. He hissed, 'Pthhhhh! Pthhhhh!' and walked creepily and gently to the tent and quietly unzipped it," Mitsunari said suspensefully.

"Oh no!" Yukimura said, covering his face with his blanket.

"And then….," Mitsunari trailed off, leaving a long silent sound. "AHHHHH!" he suddenly shouted, trying to scare them. Yukimura flinched and began screaming like crazy. Keiji and his other friends flinched but didn't scream. Instead, they laughed at poor Yukimura.

Mitsunari totally cracked up and enjoyed watching Yukimura being scared. It was too funny.

"And then what happened next?" Sakon asked.

"The obvious," Mitsunari replied. "The parents died and the vampire went straight into the son's tent. Before entering, he hissed again. 'Pthhhh! Pthhhh!' he said, quietly unzipping the tent. Right when the whole thing unzipped, he jumped into the tent and began sucking on the son's blood like crazy! It was so horrible that the son didn't even get a chance to make a sound or call for help!" Mitsunari thundered.

"I'm scared!" Yukimura said, shivering.

"And so after that, the vampire made his way to the daughter's tent. 'Pthhhh! Pthhhh!' he hissed, unzipping the daughter's tent. As it opened, a pillow swung against his face as he flew and hit the ground. The daughter quickly ran towards him and bit him on the neck. He hissed many times to try and scare her away but instead, she bit him harder. Then she grabbed a knife and stabbed him on the heart," Mitsunari told them.

"Did he die? Did he die?" Yukimura asked curiously.

"Yes he did," he answered. "But one thing of him that's still alive is his ghost. As for the girl, she mysteriously disappeared. And that's not even the scariest part yet."

"Then what is the scariest part?" Yukimura shouted.

"It took place at this very same place," Mitsunari said, as Yukimura's eyes widened. "It's true. The family that died here still has their blood permanently stained to the ground. If you guys want, I can show it to you guys tomorrow."

Deep inside, Mitsunari laughed and laughed, because Yukimura totally believed him.

"No! No!" Yukimura shouted, screaming.

"And you wanna know something else?" Mitsunari said, as Keiji and the others nodded their heads. "Whenever you guys hear a hissing sound, it means that the dead vampire has come for you…..."

"Ahhh! Ahhh! Ahhh! Ahhh! Ahhh! Ahhh!" Yukimura shouted, holding on to his covers even more tightly than ever.

Mitsunari began laughing his butt off! It was the best day of his life!

Then Mrs. Okuni came to them and told them to be quiet and get some sleep. That night, Yukimura was very paranoid and kept thinking about the hissing sound.

Before Keiji went to sleep, he felt bad for Yukimura but at the same time, it was funny how he got so scared so easily. Finally, everyone went to bed.

In the middle of the night, someone woke Keiji up. It was Yukimura and he looked soooo scared!

"I hear hissing, Keiji! I'm scared!" Yukimura said, as Keiji began listening. Suddenly, he heard a hissing sound too! It sounded as though it was still kinda far away from them.

"Oh fuck!" he whispered, shaking his other friends. "You guys, wake up!"

His other friends woke up too, and they listen closely to the hissing sound.

"Pthhh! Pthhh!" went the hissing sound. It sounded just like how Mitsunari had described it and it was getting closer and closer.

At first, Keiji thought that it might have been some of his classmates trying to play pranks on them, but he thought again and realized that it's in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere and no one would have the guts to come out and play tricks like that. Chills ran up his spine and he regretted secretly thinking that it was funny how Yukimura was scared.

The hissing sound came closer and closer and finally, it was right next to their tent.

"I was only joking about it! There's no such thing as a dead vampire living! I only made it up to scare Jose!" Mitsunari confessed. "I'll show you guys!"

He stepped up and quickly unzipped their tent. Right when their tent got unzipped, there stood a purple faced guy with braided red hair that was tied up in a ponytail. He had long claws and was wearing a baggy pant! Just like how Mitsunari had described!


	30. Chapter 30 Running Away

"Ahhhh!" shouted Keiji and his friends in horror. They all rushed out of the tent as fast as they could and screamed like there was no tomorrow. "Monster! Run away, everyone! There's a monster on the loose! Ahhhh!"

As soon as they said that, everyone rushed out of their tents and began screaming too. They looked at the monster and he glared at them while hissing "Pthhh!". They screamed even louder and ran their own ways while some ran away together into the forest. They couldn't believe that there was actually a monster at the camp site with them!

Keiji took off with Yukimura and they ran as fast as they could into the woods and hid behind a big rock. They sweated a lot and panted hardly.

"I'm scared," Yukimura said, sadly. "I want to go home."

"Shhh!" Keiji uttered, not wanting the monster to find them. The night was super windy and dark and wolves howled everywhere, which scared the shizzles out of them. Even though everyone was screaming and running away, they couldn't hear anyone anymore because they had ran off too far. Keiji wondered if the vampire monster had killed his other friends and classmates or not. Still terrified, he sat down behind the rock and hugged Yukimura like a teddy bear. They shivered all over the place and hoped that they would remain safe until the sun came up.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" they heard Sakon screaming from far away. Chills ran up their spine and they felt like crying.

"The vampire has gotten Sakon! Oh no!" Yukimura whispered. "We should go hide somewhere else before he comes over here!"

After Sakon's scream, everything went quiet. Keiji was very confused and debated if he should poke his head out or not. He wasn't going to, but he had to if he wanted to know if the vampire was close by or not. He carefully let go of Yukimura and began to stand up.

_Please don't be here, please don't be here_, he thought to himself. As he poked his head out behind the rock, he was so relieved that the vampire was nowhere to be found.

"Thank goodness," he said, putting his right hand over his heart. He turned to Yukimura and said, "Yukimura, the vampire's not-" he started, realizing that Yukimura was gone. He quickly turned to his right and saw him running away.

"He's here! Run Keiji! Ahhhh!" he shouted, running as fast as he could.

Keiji flinched and looked all around him when "Pthhhhhh!" startled him. The vampire was walking with his long sharp claws sticking out towards him!

"Ahhhh!" he screamed, running after Yukimura. He took fifteen gigantic steps and caught up to him.

"What do we do? What do we do?" Yukimura said, almost crying.

"I don't know!" Keiji replied, as they rushed deeper into the woods. Many branches and plants slapped them as they ran through it. Some slapped their thighs, their bodies, their butts, their ding dongs, and their legs, but they didn't care. They had to do whatever they could to get away from the vampire.

As they ran, they came upon a very tall tree and without saying anything, they quickly climbed on it. Many small pieces of branches broke off as they climbed, but they didn't care. When they were close to reaching the top, they looked all the way down to see if the vampire was there. He was nowhere to be found.

"I can't believe this is actually happening," Keiji said to Yukimura. "This is just completely insane." He had never been so scared in his life.

"I want my mom! I miss her!" Yukimura replied, hugging the tree real tight so that he wouldn't fall down.

"The sun needs to hurry up and rise," Keiji said, looking around. All of a sudden, they heard many of their classmates scream in horror and fade away. Now Keiji and Yukimura were even more scared than ever before.

"He got everyone else! Oh no!" Yukimura whispered, shivering to death. They both believed that the vampire got every single one of their classmates except for them. They stood still on the tree keeping quiet and listening closely to see if the vampire was coming. All of a sudden, they saw someone running really fast. It was a tall, skinny figure.

"Keiji! Yukimura! Where are you guys at?" Motochika said, panting in horror.

"Up here!" Yukimura said, as Keiji covered his mouth and told him to be quiet before the vampire heard them. Motochika looked up and quickly climbed the tree.

"What happened to everyone?" Keiji whispered.

"The monster touched them and they disappeared! Toshiie and I were running away when the monster pulled his hair and disappeared together!" Motochika cried softly. He was in his white tank top and his biceps popped out real big. "When they were gone, I ran for my life!"

"Man, that monster is way too dangerous," Keiji said, shivering. "If someone doesn't put a stop to him, no one will."

"And Mitsunari said that it was only made up! But it's real! Real Real Real!" Yukimura shouted, as Keiji covered his mouth again.

"Shhh!" Keiji said, making him shut up.

Keiji decided that he had to be brave. He would use his martial arts skills to take down the vampire, and besides, there were going to be two great warriors with him too, Yukimura and Motochika. Together they would be unstoppable.

"Guys," he began. "I know this may sound really crazy but we have to defeat the vampire."

"No," objected Yukimura. "He's way too dangerous! I don't want to disappear with him too!"

"Yeah. All the monster needs to do is touch you and you disappear!" said Motochika.

Keiji knew that even though they were scared to death, it was better to fight for their freedom rather than disappearing into the shadow with the monster. He thought that if they didn't want to fight alongside him, he would do it himself. Deep inside, he was a true warrior.

"Well then, I'm going by myself," Keiji said, looking at them.

"No! Don't go!" Yukimura said, holding his arm.

"I will be a brave warrior and fight the vampire to bring back our fellow classmates and teacher," Keiji replied, making Yukimura let go. "I'm a strong person and you can't stop me, Yukimura. You both can just wait here for me, but if I don't return, good luck hiding."

"Are you sure?" Yukimura asked. Keiji nodded his head in agreement. "Fine then. I'm coming too."

"Then what about you, Motochika?" Keiji asked. "Are you coming or staying?"

They both turned to him, only except it wasn't him anymore. It was the vampire!

"Pthhhhhhh!" it hissed, as they both screamed to death.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," they shouted, jumping down the tree. They landed on their foot and ran for their lives again.

"Mitsunari was right! That thing could turn into anyone!" Keiji shouted, running as fast as he could while holding Yukimura's arm. He quickly changed his mind about fighting the vampire. He was just too dangerous!

"I want my mommy!" Yukimura screamed, running too. They both looked back and it was chasing them! It swooshed really fast through the trees and was catching up easily!

"Ahhhh!" they shouted again. Suddenly, a plan formed in Keiji's mind as they ran around a tree.

Keiji pulled a tree branch and bent it back until it couldn't bend anymore. Then he let go of it and it swung to the vampire and smacked him right in the eye. The vampire stopped running and fell down while rubbing his right eye. Damn did that tree branch get him good.

"Run for your life Yukimura! Quick!" Keiji shouted, as they both took off again. Suddenly, the vampire began running!

Never in Keiji's life had he ever been so scared! He thought to himself that how can a fieldtrip be so dangerous? Going camping with a vicious vampire living in the campsite? With all the students and teacher missing except for him and Yukimura? Impossible. He knew that something had to be up, but wasn't sure about it. He took a look back and the vampire was gone!

He thought about how the vampire disappeared and pretended to be Motochika. Suddenly a chill ran up his spine as he turned to Yukimura with a horrified look. Yukimura looked back at him fearfully.

"What?" he asked Keiji innocently.

"You're just the vampire pretending to be Yukimura, huh?!" Keiji shouted, getting ready to make a run for it. He made himself believe that he was the only one that was actually safe and that everyone else he saw was the vampire pretending to be them.

"No! What are you talking about?" Yukimura replied, walking closer to him.

"Don't come any closer to me! I'm warning you!" Keiji shouted, picking up a stick. Yukimura looked scared and didn't know what to do.

"Follow me, Keiji," he said, moving his hand for Keiji to go to him.

"Why?" Keiji asked suspensefully.

"Just because," he replied. He looked as though he was hiding something and Keiji knew that he was a bad liar. He came to a conclusion and smiled.

"What are you guys up to? You better tell me, Yukimura, or else I'm going to do something so bad to you that you'll never get to see any of your family or friends ever again," Keiji said with a serious face.

"I'm not supposed to..." Yukimura trailed off. Keiji got him real good right there.

"Tell me now! I know you guys are up to something," Keiji replied.

Yukimura took a deep breath. "Okay fine. I'll tell you, only because you're my best friend. You know that time when you farted in class? Anyways, you were daydreaming so we all decided to pull a prank on you to get back at all those times that you pranked us. We planned to all disappear with the fake vampire Kotaro. You don't know him but Sakon paid that guy to be a part of the plan to give you a good scare."

"Fake vampire Kotaro? Give me a good scare?" Keiji asked. Suddenly a plan formed in his mind as he began laughing on the inside but showed no signs of laughter. "What are you talking about? Vampires are real! I've seen them before Yukimura!"

"No they're not," Yukimura replied, watching Kotaro creep up behind Keiji.

"Yes they are! I almost died when a vampire touched me! My doctor told me that if I get touched by a vampire one more time, I will die!" Keiji exclaimed. "So don't you guys dare make jokes about vampires!"

"Keiji, it was only a-" Yukimura began as Kotaro interrupted them.

"BOO!" Kotaro shrieked, shaking Keiji's shoulders from behind.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OHHHH!" Keiji screamed, as he put his right hand on his forehead and sprawled to the floor. He closed his eyes and deep inside he laughed and laughed. He heard all his fellow classmates laughing in the background.

"Keiji! Wake up!" Yukimura exclaimed, shaking Keiji's body. He didn't move but he was definitely breathing. "Oh no! You guys! Keiji fainted!" Everyone stopped laughing and ran to Keiji.

"Keiji, stop pretending to faint," Mitsunari said, shaking him.

"Wake up dude," Kiyomasa said, shaking him too.

"Keiji, get up," Kanetsugu said, making him sit up.

To make the situation more fun, Keiji decided to fake a seizure. Everyone started freaking out.

"Oh my god! Keiji, are you okay? Stop scaring us!" Kaihime shouted. Keiji rolled his eyes back and made bubbles in his mouth. He vibrated his body really fast and boy did it look like a real seizure.

"We have to get him to the hospital!" Mrs. Okuni said, panicking. She was so afraid that she was going to lose her job as a teacher.

"Keiji, you better wake up! I know you're just faking this," Sakon commented.

"Sakon, this is no time for you to be talking like that! This is serious!" Mrs. Okuni replied.

"I bet you guys a million bucks that Keiji's faking it," Mitsunari said, looking at Keiji.

"Stop saying that you guys! Now help get Keiji to the bus! And everyone else, start packing your bags! We're leaving!" Mrs. Okuni said, freaking out.

Keiji's friends looked at each other and shook their heads. They all, except for Yukimura, believed that he was faking it because he was such a prankster but at the same time, that seizure seemed so real.

"What if he like...dies? We're going to be murderers! What are we going to do?" Yukimura said, feeling regretful and sad. He and Sakon helped Keiji up and headed straight for the bus.

"He's not going to die, you idiot!" Mitsunari replied, feeling like giving Yukimura a knucklehead for even saying that.

"But what if he does? He told me that if he gets touched by a vampire one more time, he's going to die!" Yukimura exclaimed.

"In case you forgot, Kotaro's not a vampire, you little retard!" Mitsunari shouted.

Yukimura looked at Kotaro and he glared back at him with a vicious look.

"PTHHHHH," he hissed, as a chill ran up Yukimura's spine.

"Then why did Keiji have a seizure? Huh?" Yukimura shouted.

"I'm telling you, he's faking it," Mitsunari replied.

"My money's on that," Sakon commented.

Deep inside, Keiji laughed so much. He enjoyed how everyone was freaking out. After his two friends sat him down on the bus, everyone packed their belongings and headed back to school. During the ride, Keiji went to sleep.


	31. Chapter 31 Final Goodbye

When Keiji woke up, he found himself at the hospital. Next to him was a plate of food that smelled really good. It was a burger, an apple, a brownie, and juice. He took it and began eating it. While eating, he began laughing and laughing about what happened last night. Then someone came into the room. It was his doctor.

"How are you feeling Keiji?" asked the doctor.

"I'm feeling great," he replied smiling. "And you?"

"I'm good," said the doctor. "Now um, why don't you tell me what happened last night?"

Keiji thought for a moment. "If I tell you, will you promise to help me?"

The doctor nodded his head. "Of course. Anything."

Keiji explained everything that happened, even about how he faked the seizure.

"Keiji! How could you? This is not funny! You had me worried sick!" said the doctor.

"I had a reason to! Come on! Right?" Keiji replied.

"But that's not nice. Don't you know that it was a waste of money for your parents paying you to be here when you don't need to be here?" asked the doctor.

"Tch. So? Money's not a problem when it comes to my family," Keiji replied.

"Hmm. True," he replied. "But still..."

"How much do you want doctor?" Keiji asked.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked...

Meanwhile, all of Keiji's close friends gathered together in the hospital elevator and went to the room that he was in.

"Excuse me but no one is allowed in there at this time," said Keiji's doctor.

"How is he doing?" Kanetsugu asked.

"He's not doing well. He hasn't even woken up yet," replied the doctor.

Sakon looked into the room and saw a plate of finished food. "Are you sure about that?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," he replied.

"Then why is his food finished?" Sakon asked.

"Well, I uhh..went to check up on him and my stomach was growling so I decided to eat his food," he replied.

"You ate Keiji's food?" Yukimura gasped. "Then what is he going to eat when he wakes up?"

"I'm sorry to say this but your friend Keiji will not live long. Time is estimated to be about three days until he leaves this world," said the doctor, looking down. They all looked at each other with sadness.

"What? Why? You're kidding!" they shouted.

"It seems like he got a really bad heart attack due to fright and it caused his blood to slowly stop flowing and in about three days, he will take his last breath. I'm sorry boys," said the doctor. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a very important meeting."

"But doctor! Isn't there anything that you can do to help him?" Kanetsugu shouted.

"I'm sorry but no," replied the doctor, as he walked down the hallway and into an elevator. Keiji's friends looked at each other and began crying...

Two days have passed as Keiji layed down on the hospital bed watching an 80's show. "Man, this is so boring," he said to a nurse.

"Well, you wanted this, didn't you?" said the nurse.

"Yeah. I know," Keiji replied. "At least I get to miss school." Then his doctor came into the room.

"Keiji, I have news for you that you will enjoy," he began.

Keiji smiled. "What is it?"

"Your classmates that you went camping with are all going to visit you tomorrow and say their so called last words to you. I'm pretty sure you'll enjoy that," he said, smiling.

Keiji formed a big smile on his face. "Awesome! Can't wait for that! Hahahah!"

The next day, Keiji's doctor set up a camera at the corner of the room so that Keiji could get to watch their reactions later.

"They're coming! Pretend to sleep!" said the doctor. Keiji smiled and then pretended to sleep. He heard the door open and a lot of footsteps approaching him. He heard crying and he so wanted to laugh.

"Keiji.." began Mitsunari. "You've always been a jerk to me but..." he said, sniffing, "you've always been a good friend as well and I'm going to miss you...and I'm sorry for being a part of that stupid vampire plan. I wish we never even came up with it and I know you're probably going to hate me for that. Once again, I'm sorry and I want you to know that I'll always miss you..."

Kanetsugu walked to Keiji while wiping his tears. "Keiji, I can't believe that this is actually happening. You're one of my best friends and I'll never forget you. You're always going to be my friend no matter what. Hopefully we meet again in our next life..."

"Hey man," Musashi said, crying. "You're my homie...I love kicking it with you and getting high on our kickbacks...You're a good friend and we're all going to miss you..."

Yukimura cried and cried and tried to force himself to stop crying. "Keiji, you're my bestest friend that I ever had...No, you were more like a brother to me and I wish time would permit us to speak together once more but I see that you're never going to wake up again...I'm sorry for not telling you that Kotaro was behind you...It was all my fault...If only I had warned you...You would still be alive...Forgive me Keiji," he said, crying so much. He couldn't even talk anymore and fell to the floor crying even more.

Keiji wanted to laugh so much but he forced himself not to laugh. It was just too funny!

"Keiji...you're my best guy friend that I ever had and I wish that we could've been more than friends or something...I always kinda had a thing for you...Please wake up and talk to me one last time...Please!" Kaihime shouted, crying and shaking him but he made no attempt to open his eyes. "I'm going to miss you a lot Keiji..."

Keiji laughed even more on the inside because Kaihime confessed how she truly felt about him. Usually she would never do those kind of things.

Masamune walked to Keiji. "Hey Keiji...I'm sorry for getting you in trouble when Ranmaru and Musashi were fighting. It was totally my fault and I'm a selfish jerk for running away and making Tadakatsu think that it was you who was the first one to tell them to fight. If I can turn back time, I will take the blame for it. And I'm going to miss your big blonde head that I see every day in class. Farewell."

"Keiji" began Himiko. "I don't know much about you but we've been going to the same school ever since middle school. I'm going to miss seeing you around and the humor that you bring to our school. Goodbye Keiji."

"Hello Keiji," Yoshimoto started. "Before you leave, I wanted to teach you how to play Kemari with me but I see that you're not waking up at all. Maybe one day in Heaven I could teach you. I'll miss seeing you around."

"Ey bro...You're like a brother to me and I wish that things would've ended differently for you...you're an awesome guy and I don't know how we're going to live without you," Kiyomasa said, crying. "You bring joy and laughter to our crew and I'm going to miss hearing your loud voice every day. I just want you to know that I'm never going to forget you...See you when my time is up bro..."

"Hey Keiji," Magoichi began. "You're a good friend to me and I'm going to miss talking to you in class about girls and getting off topic. I'm going to miss hearing about all the crazy things you do outside of class. Hopefully we could be friends again in our next life.."

"Keiji I don't know much about you but I just want to say that I'll miss seeing you around," Nagamasa said, looking at him with sadness.

"Keiji," said Ginchiyo. "I've known you for a very long time but we don't talk much. I want you to know that I'm going to miss seeing you at school and it's just hard to believe that someone you've known for a long time isn't going to be around any longer. I'll miss you."

"Keiji I hardly know you but I just wanted to say that I hope you live a better life in the future. No one deserves to die young," said Gracia. "And I'll miss seeing you."

Masanori approached Keiji while crying. "Hey dude...you're one of my closest friends that I consider a brother...I can just be myself around you and you still accept me for me...I'm going to miss the crazy things we do as friends and I'm going to miss how we mess around with Mitsunari...I really hope that we meet again in our next life and hopefully we can still be good friends...Later homie..."

Keiji almost formed a smile but held it inside. His cheeks were starting to burn because of holding in his laughter.

"Keiji, even though you pretended to be me and bought gifts for Sakon and lying that it was me, you're my classmate and we were supposed to graduate together this year and I'm going to miss seeing you at school," said Ina, wiping her tears.

"Hey Keiji...You're one of the craziest guys that I know and I'm going to miss your thunderous voice at school...I hope we meet again someday.." said Kunoichi.

"Ey Keiji, I'm so sorry," Sakon said, crying his eyes out. "I'm sorry for paying Kotaro to scare you at camp..It was all my idea and my fault and I take the blame for it...Please forgive me..Even though you trolled me about the gifts from Ina, you're always going to be my brother and I'll never forget you. I hope we meet again and still be close friends.." he said, crying and getting on his knees.

Keiji opened his left eye and tiny bit and saw Sakon kneeling down. His smile of laughter almost bursted out and he didn't know how much more of this he could take before he ended up laughing.

"Hey Keiji," said Motochika. "I just want to say that I'm going to miss seeing you at kickbacks and getting drunk with you. You're a good friend to many people and you will truly be missed by us all."

"Keiji, I can't believe that this is actually happening...I have some things that I want to tell you and I hope you'll forgive me," Goemon said crying. "In our sophomore year, I stole one of your underwears and sold it for a thousand dollars since you were pretty famous with the girls at our school. And I took your ipod when you left it in class. I'm sorry for being such a thief but hey, that's what I am. It was nice knowing you and maybe we can meet again soon..."

Nene approached Keiji with the most reddest eyes ever. "Keiji, you've always been my neighbor, my classmate, and my childhood friend. You're a crazy guy and even though you lied to me about leaking on my period, you're still my friend and I'm always going to miss you. Goodbye Keiji.."

"Hey Keiji," said Oichi. "Even though you hit me on the face with a ball, you're my classmate and I'll forgive you for that. I'll miss seeing you in class with your annoying voice. Well, goodbye Keiji.."

"Hey nephew," began Toshiie. He had been crying for such a long time. "You do the most annoying things ever but you're my nephew and I'll always love you. Even though you pranked me good with that prayer doll, I still forgive you and will truly miss you. I can't picture how things would be like without you being a part of my family anymore. Hopefully we can be born as Maeda's again in our next life and be close once again...Goodbye..."

Keiji ended up smiling and quickly stopped, but for some reason, no one saw because they were all too busy crying and looking down.

"Keiji...," said Hanzo. "I'm only going to say this once so hopefully you're listening somehow. I'm sorry for always appearing and then disappearing...It was fun to mess with your mind, doing things that only you can see...I hardly know you but I just want to say that it was nice seeing you around...Farewell..."

Mrs. Okuni looked down and approached Keiji. "Keiji, you're one of my favorite students and I owe you an apology for allowing your classmates to do that to you. And for that, I'm going to quit my job as a teacher and move somewhere far away to stay away from shame. I'll miss you and once again, I'm really sorry for failing my duty as a teacher."

"Alright," said the doctor. "Now that everyone is finished doing their speech, lets give Keiji a moment of silence as we watch him take his last breath..."

Everyone cried in silence and froze when Keiji's heartbeat went to zero. Now they all cried and surrounded Keiji as teardrops fell on his face.

"NO!" shouted Yukimura, crying so much.

"Wake up, Keiji!" yelled Sakon, shaking him.

"This can't be happening," Kanetsugu said, crying in disbelief.

After about thirty seconds, Keiji's body began moving slowly. He was waking up and his heartbeat came back.

"He's alive!" Masanori shouted.

"Keiji, are you okay?" Mitsunari said, wiping his tears.

The doctor's jaws dropped. "I don't believe it...you guys just..."

"We just what?" said Kaihime.

"You guys brought him back to life! You guys did the hundred tear drop spell and brought him back to life! Its genius!" shouted the doctor.

"What? Really?" shouted Sakon, wiping his tears too.

"No, not really," said the doctor, sarcastically.

"Then why did his body move?" asked Yukimura.

"It appears that he's turning into a zombie! Run!" shouted the doctor. Everyone looked at Keiji. He wasn't moving anymore. All of a sudden, his eyes opened.

"UHHHHHH!" Keiji moaned, as everyone screamed and ran towards the door. The doctor blocked the door and began laughing. Suddenly, Keiji began laughing too.

"Now don't you guys dare prank me! Cuz you know I'll get you guys a thousand times worse! Hahahaha!" Keiji laughed, falling to the floor.

"Keiji! How could you!" shouted his classmates angrily, but at the same time happy that he was alive.

"Your guy's speeches! Too funny! Hahahah!" he said, laughing even more. For pranking his friends and classmates, he got slapped on the arm by everyone except for Yukimura.

"Damn, you got us hella good!" said Musashi, laughing. Everyone made fun of each other's speeches and pretty soon, they all went to a buffet to hang out.


	32. Chapter 32 Sakon's Perfect Outfit

Keiji and his friends hung out at the quad on Friday morning waiting for class to begin. They were listening to "Ain't Thinking Bout You" by Chris Brown and Bow Wow.

"Hey guys," Kaihime said, walking to them, giving them all a hug.

"Sup," Keiji said, winking at her, remembering what she said to him at the hospital. She rolled her eyes at him and laughed.

"What's good," Kiyomasa said to her.

"Hey," said Yukimura.

"What's up," said the rest of his friends.

"You guys wanna play Secret Boo?" Kaihime asked them.

"Secret Boo? What's that?" Sakon asked.

"It's kind of like Secret Santa, only except it's for Halloween," she replied, smiling. "I'm going to host a Halloween Party at my house on Saturday, October 29 and I would love for you guys to be there."

"Oh yeah! I love parties!" Keiji shouted. "Is there going to be drinking or what?"

"Of course," she said, smiling.

"Who and who's playing?" Kiyomasa asked her.

"Everyone that went camping," she replied. "So if you guys wanna play, there's going to be a meeting on Tuesday at lunch in room 999 on Academy B. You guys are coming, right?" They all nodded their heads and gave her a hug as she left.

"Ya'll doing anything afterschool?" Sakon asked them, drinking a cup of hot chocolate that he just bought from the SBO a while ago.

"No," answered Keiji and his friends, except for Kanetsugu.

"I gotta work," Kanetsugu said.

"Why did you ask?" asked Yukimura.

"Cuz I wanted to see if you guys wanted to hang out at the mall," answered Sakon. "I kinda wanted to buy some clothes and shoes."

"For what," asked Keiji.

"You'll never guess what happened," Sakon replied smiling, turning to Mitsunari.

"You're so obsessed," Mitsunari replied, shaking his head. Then Sakon began telling them what happened yesterday afterschool.

*FLASHBACK*

The bell rang and it was time for everyone to go home. Sakon walked out of class and saw Mitsunari walking.

"Yo, Mitsunari!" he shouted, running to him.

Mitsunari turned to him. "What?" he answered. They talked about what a jerk Keiji was for tricking their whole class that he was going to die and they laughed at each other's last words to him. They talked and made their way towards the office.

"Man, I still can't believe that Ina won't go on a date with me. I mean, what's wrong with me? I'm pretty good looking, right?" Sakon asked Mitsunari, checking himself out.

"It's cuz you act like a complete pervert to her, that's why," Mitsunari answered.

"But don't girls like that?" Sakon said, laughing. "They might act like they hate it and stuff, but deep inside they know they're happy for having someone to talk to them like that. It makes them feel special."

"No it doesn't," Mitsunari said, looking at him with disgust. "It just makes them think that you only want them for sensational purposes only."

Sakon laughed and laughed as he saw Ina walking with Tadakatsu into the office. He smiled and elbowed Mitsunari. "Watch this," he said, as he began walking to the office too.

"Dude, what do you think you're doing?" Mitsunari replied.

"Scoring a date," he replied, smiling flirtatiously. Mitsunari shook his head.

Sakon walked into the office and followed Tadakatsu and Ina into a room. They both turned to him.

"Excuse me for the interruption, but may I please have a word with you, Mr. Tadakatsu Honda?" he began, smiling politely.

"Sure," replied Tadakatsu. He looked at Ina as she rolled her eyes at Sakon and left the room. "What is it?"

"It appears that your daughter, Ina, has not been keeping her words," Sakon began.

"What are you talking about?" Tadakatsu asked.

"We were playing Black Ops together last time and she made a bet with me saying that if I killed her first, then she would go on a date with me," he said, clearing his throat. "And therefore, I killed her and she never went on a date with me. She is being very objective about it and I don't really appreciate that. It breaks my heart to know that a beautiful descendant of the Honda's cannot keep her words."

"And what do you want me to do about it?" Tadakatsu said.

"Make her keep her words," replied Sakon.

"I can't force her to go on a date if she doesn't want to," said Tadakatsu.

Then a magnificent idea popped inside Sakon's mind as a big smiled formed on his face.

"Tell Ina to come inside," asked Sakon. Tadakatsu ordered Ina back inside the room. She came in, sat down, and looked at them both.

"What," she asked.

"So Ina," began Sakon, smiling. "When should we have our date?"

"We don't have a date," she replied.

"Yes we do. Remember when I beat you on Black Ops?" Sakon asked.

"Yes, but..." she said, trailing off.

"You're not a liar, are you?" Sakon asked again.

"No but..," she said, as Sakon winked at her. She rolled her eyes at him. "Why must you do this to me in front of my father?"

"You wanted me to do this the hard way," he responded.

"Tsk," she said, looking down and taking a deep breath. "Okay, fine. I'll go on a date with you. But after that, you better promise to leave me alone."

Sakon's face lit with happiness. "Alright," he said, happily and secretly crossing his fingers. "I'll pick you up on Saturday at five-thirty and after that date, I promise to leave you alone."

"Yeah, whatever," she replied, shaking her head.

"Until then, see you around," Sakon said, making his way out of the room. "I'll see you in class tomorrow, Mr. Tadakatsu Honda."

He rushed out of the office and ran to Mitsunari with the biggest smile ever.

"Oh boy, I wonder what happened in there," Mitsunari said, sarcastically...

*PRESENT*

"And that's how I got her to go on a date with me," Sakon said, happily. Just then, he got smacked on the arm by someone.

"Don't get too excited," shouted Ina. "I'm going to make sure that it's the worst date that you've ever been on!" Then she stormed away.

"Man, was that a pain of love!" Sakon shouted, as everyone laughed.

Keiji was very proud of Sakon for stepping up his game and actually making the date with Ina happen. When the bell rang to go to class, someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and it was Magoichi Saika.

"Sup dude," he said to him, as they did their hand shake. They began walking to class together. "So what's up with you? I haven't talked to you for a while."

"Nothing much," Magoichi replied, smiling. "Except that something hella funny and nasty happened yesterday in my science class."

"What," asked Keiji, as he began smiling too.

"We were doing an experiment where everyone had to bring a scent to class and blindfold a person in our group while the blindfolded person has to guess what the scent is," said Magoichi. "And so when it was my turn to get blindfolded, I held my breath until my partners told me to sniff the scent."

"And then what happened?" Keiji asked.

"My girl partner told me to sniff the object and I sniffed it and-" he said, as he bursted out laughing.

"And what?" Keiji said, laughing too, already knowing that it was going to be funny.

"It freaken smelled like she picked her butt!" Magoichi replied, as they both laughed a lot. Keiji could not stop laughing because it was too funny.

"That's hella nasty!" he said, cracking up. In a bit, they went inside their class and when class started, they kept looking at each other and snickering. They almost got sent to the time out room but then they forced themselves to stop laughing until class ended. When the bell rang, they both rushed out of class and began laughing like crazy.

"My guess to her was that it smelled like butthole," Magoichi said, laughing.

"Ahahahah," laughed Keiji as well. "Were you right?"

"No. She told me that it was the smell of her toe when she picked it," Magoichi replied, laughing continuously, as they both departed and left to their next class.

When it was afterschool, Keiji and his friends met up at the front of their school. Kanetsugu walked to them and said "later" to them as he began walking to his car.

"We'll see you in a bit," Yukimura said to him.

"Yeah," Kanetsugu replied.

"Well, let's get going," Sakon said to them, as they all began walking to the mall.

"So what kind of outfit are you looking for?" Keiji asked.

"Something kind of formal but with swag," he replied. "I think Ina will love that style."

"I like that style!" Yukimura shouted. "I know just the right store for you!" They continued walking until they reached the mall. It was crowded with people, especially because it was Friday afterschool. "Follow me," he said, as everyone followed him and went on a escalator to the third floor. Then they continued walking straight into a store called Swag Kingdom.

"Dude, I've never seen this store before," Keiji said, amazed at how big it was. It was a very nice, big, luxurious store. The floor was sparkly black and silver and it had nice decorations that came with flashing lights. The song "Problem" by Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea was playing.

"It's a new store," Yukimura told them. "It opened not too long ago. It has really nice clothes so hopefully you'll find what you want here, Sakon."

They split up and looked around the store. Keiji walked around and saw a really nice shirt that he wanted to try on. It was black with red writings that wrote Swag on it. Then he found a guy skinny jean to go along with it and tried it on in the fitting room. It fit perfectly so he held on to it and looked for a new shoe. There were many different kinds of shoe but in the end he ended up chosing an Air Jordan that was black and red. He went on ahead and bought those stuff. Then he went to Sakon and Yukimura because they were together.

"How about this one? I think Ina will love it on you, Sakon," Yukimura told him. He held a black t-shirt that had a picture of a top tuxedo on the front. It had a picture of a red bow where it normally goes when you wear a tuxedo.

"Brilliant choice, Yukimura!" shouted Sakon. He had a big smile on his face and took it. Then he found a black skinny jean and went to try both of them on. When he came out, he was very cocky. "I look so hot that Ina would die for a thirst of me."

"Ew, Sakon," said Mitsunari in disgust, as everyone laughed. "You're sick."

"Hahaha," Keiji laughed. "You should buy that outfit. It suits you. And maybe you are right. Ina probably would die for a taste hahaha!"

"Hahahahaha!" laughed his friends, as Mitsunari shook his head.

"Alright then. This outfit it is," said Sakon, walking to the shoe area. He tried on a black pair of Nike's and decided to get it too. Then he walked to the cash register and bought it.

"Hey, ya'll wanna go to the arcade?" Kiyomasa asked, since they were done buying Sakon's outfit.

"Sure," said Yukimura. "But first, can we get something to eat?"

"Okay," they all agreed in unison. They took the elevator down to the first floor and walked over to the food court. Keiji, Sakon, Masanori, and Mitsunari got Panda Express while Yukimura and Kiyomasa got the Big Carl from Carl's Jr. After they were done eating, they went to the arcade and had a blast.

Keiji played the game where he had to pick up a fake hammer and hit the shark's heads every time it popped up from a hole. He went so try hard that he got every single one of them. He laughed so hard as one hundred tickets popped out.

"Alright! That's what I'm talking about!" he shouted, laughing and grabbing the tickets. Then he went to shoot some hoops at a basketball and made it in five out of five times. He won fifty tickets from that game. Then he went to play a racing game. He sat down and put in some coins and selected his car. On the countdown of three, two, and one, he quickly stepped on the gas pedal and controlled the wheel. He crashed into many buildings and trees and laughed so hard, as his friends watched him play.

"You cause so many accidents, Keiji. Tsk, tsk, tsk," said Mitsunari, shaking his head.

"Come on, Keiji! You can do it!" shouted Yukimura. Keiji finally got a hold of the car and drifted beautifully many times and before he knew it, he won the race.

"Yeah!" he shouted, laughing. Then a whole bunch of tickets came out and it seemed as if the machine broke or something because tickets kept coming out nonstop. "Oh boy! Look at this!"

"Ooooohhh, did you break it?" Yukimura asked.

"No! I just won the race and now, this!" he replied, looking confused now. Tickets just kept coming out and they were starting to get scared that they might get in trouble. They huddled together closely so that no one would see. In a bit, it stopped coming out.

"Did it run out of tickets?" Kiyomasa asked.

"I think so," said Sakon. "There's no end ticket sticking out right there."

"This is amazing! Hahaha!" Keiji laughed. "If they ask how we got all these tickets, we'll just say that it's from last time too."

"Good idea," Yukimura told him. Keiji counted all the tickets and he had enough to get a bike. When he exchanged it for a bike, an idea popped into his mind as he began smiling. "Hey Sakon," he began,

"What?" Sakon replied.

"Truth or dare," he said, with a big smile.

"Uhhh, dare," Sakon responded.

"I dare you to take Ina out on a date while riding this bike! Hahahahaha!" he shouted, laughing so hard that he nearly died. Every one else laughed too.

"Ew, hell no! That's hella embarassing!" Sakon shouted, while laughing. They all had a great laugh and pretty soon, they walked into the store that Kanetsugu worked at and said hi to him. When it was getting dark, their parents came and picked them up to go home.


	33. Chapter 33 Lurking

When Keiji got home from the mall, he showered and layed down on his bed. He turned the T.V. on and watched some pro wrestling until he got tired and went to bed. He couldn't wait until Sakon took Ina out because it was going to be so funny since she disliked him so much.

Morning came as fast as Keiji's poop when he really needed to diahrrea. He woke up smiling and he could tell he had a good dream but he forgot what it was about. He smelled the air and it smelled like pancakes.

"Oh boy!" he shouted, jumping out of bed and rushing into the bathroom. He peed, flushed the toilet, washed his face, and brushed his teeth. Then he went into the kitchen to see his mom making more pancakes.

"Morning, Keiji," she said, flipping the pancake and smiling at him.

"Good morning, mom!" he shouted, giving her a hug. He was such a giant compared to her. He noticed that she made a lot of pancakes. "Is someone coming over or something?"

"Yeah, how did you know?" she asked him.

"It's just that you're making more breakfast than usual. Who's coming over?" he asked, as he smiled really big. "Is it my favorite pharmacy uncle!"

"He has a name, Keiji. It's Charles. And no, uncle Charles is not coming over. It's uncle Toshiie, grandma, little uncle Tommy, and baby auntie Candice," she told him. He jumped up with happiness. Tommy and Candice were Toshiie's very little siblings and he hasn't seen them in forever and he missed them a lot.

"All right!" he shouted, grabbing a broom. He skipped around the house while sweeping the floor and realized that the floor had already been swept. He laughed and ran into the living room to make sure everything was clean and in place before their guests arrived. An idea quickly popped into his mind and he laughed and fell onto the living room floor.

"What's so funny Keiji?" asked his mom, looking at him all weird. He laughed so hard that she asked him if he was going mental. He laughed even harder.

"No, mom. I'm just being silly me," he replied, trying not to laugh anymore. In a bit, his laughter turned into a smile and faded to a normal face. His mom went back into the kitchen when the doorbell rang. He smiled really quick and stopped before opening the door. He closed his eyes and opened the door, keeping his eyes shut. He bent his knees inwards a bit and spread his hands out and did two arm circles and quickly jumped and turned his back to the door. Then he put his hands in front of him like he was shooting power and then sharply pulled his arms back while arching his back and let out a big giant fart.

"BLEH!" went the sound as he laughed so hard.

"Surprise, chocolate!" he shouted, looking out the door. It was a mailman and he bursted out laughing. Keiji laughed even more because it wasn't who he expected. "Oops! My bad! Hahahahaha. This was meant for someone else!"

"It's cool," said the mailman. "I'm here to deliver a package to Keiji Maeda."

"That'll be me," he said, taking the package. Just then, his grandma's car approached the driveway and parked. Out popped out his baby auntie Candice and the rest of the guest.

"Alright. Have a nice day, fart boy," said the mailman, laughing again and walking off.

"You too, paper boy," he replied, farting one more time for him to hear.

"BROOM!" went his butt. Auntie Candice came running to him but after hearing that thunderous fart, she quickly ran to her mom, which was Keiji's grandma. He laughed and laughed and Toshie looked at him disgustedly and laughed...

"Thank you very much for having us over for breakfast today, Kelly," said Keiji's grandma, while doing the dishes.

"Oh, it was nothing mom," said Keiji's mom, wiping the counters.

Keiji went into the living room where Toshiie, Tommy, and Candice were at. He picked Candice up and threw her into the air and caught her.

"Hi! How old are you now? You got so big and tall!" he asked her. She looked at him and put two fingers up. "Aww, you're two? Of course you are. Have you been a good girl?" She nodded her head.

"No you haven't. You have been very mean to big brother lately," Toshiie said, looking at her. She turned to him and stared at him. "You're a mean girl. You always say bad words now. We don't like mean girls. Mean girls are ugly."

"Dude stop!" Keiji said, laughing. Candice's eyes grew big and were very watery now. Then she dashed out of the room and ran into the kitchen where her mom was at and started crying. "Look what you did, Toshiie. You made her cry!"

"Hahaha. Really though. She's been so mean lately now that she kind of knows how to talk," he replied. They both laughed it out and in a bit, Toshiie's family went home.

At 1:30 pm, Keiji got a text from Yukimura asking if he could come over. He replied with a smiley face meaning that yes he could come over. In a bit, Yukimura showed up at his door.

"Hey brotha!" Keiji shouted, opening the door.

"Hey," said Yukimura.

"Who is it, Keiji?" shouted his mom from upstairs.

"It's just Yukimura," he replied. "Come inside." They both walked into his room and sat down.

"So do you really think Ina will like Sakon now? Because I do," said Yukimura.

"Hmm, maybe," he replied. "As a matter of fact, I think she does have a crush on him but just doesn't want to admit it."

"I know," Yukimura said, smiling. They talked for a while and in a bit, Kiyomasa called Keiji.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Kiyomasa asked.

"Oh just chilling with Sanada at my house. Wanna come through?" he asked.

"Yeah. Sure. I was hoping we could hang out since Sakon's going on a date with Ina," Kiyomasa said laughing.

"Yeah, let's hang out. You, me, and Sanada," he said, as a magnificent idea popped into his mind. A big smile formed on his face and Yukimura could tell that Keiji was up to something. "Hurry and come over."

"Alright. See you," Kiyomasa said, as they both hung up.

"What are you up to, Keiji?" Yukimura asked.

"I'll tell you when Kiyomasa comes over," he replied.

"Okay," said Yukimura. In about twenty minutes, the doorbell rang. Keiji opened it and welcomed Kiyomasa inside as they went into his room.

"Alright, you two must be wondering why I gathered you here at my house today," he said, professionally. They looked at each other and laughed. "I'm just kidding. But yeah, I have an operation for us to perform."

"What operation?" asked Kiyomasa. Yukimura gasped.

"Operation? Are we going to the hospital? Did someone need surgery and we have to perform it for them?" he asked, fearfully. "Because I'm scared of hospitals." Keiji nodded his head seriously as he got so scared. Then Keiji and Kiyomasa laughed. "You guys are so mean!" Yukimura shouted, half laughing.

"Okay, but seriously, I was thinking that maybe we could spy on Sakon? It would be fun!" Keiji shouted. Kiyomasa and Yukimura looked at each other and smiled. They both agreed that it was a great idea. "Ok so now all we have to do is call Sakon and ask where they're going for their date." He took out his cell phone and called him. After four rings, he picked up.

"Hello?" answered Sakon.

"Hey. So I was wondering what you and Ina are doing today," he said, smiling.

"I'm taking her downtown to go bowling and watch a movie. After that, we're eating out and then I'm taking her back home safely so she'll see how much of a gentlmen I am," Sakon said, laughing.

"What movie are you guys trying to watch? Where are you guys eating at?" he asked.

"I don't know yet. That depends on Ina," Sakon replied. "But dude, I can't believe this is actually happening. Me going on a date with Ina. It's a dream come true. I'm finally living my fantasy. Hahaha."

"Hahaha," he laughed. "Well good luck and have lots of fun while it lasts."

"Thanks. I will," Sakon responded. "I'll let you guys know how it goes."

"Alright. Later," he said, as they hung up.

"Soooo?" said Kiyomasa.

"They're going bowling downtown and after that, they're going to watch a movie and eat out but they don't know what movie or where to eat yet," he told them.

"Then how are we supposed to spy on them?" Yukimura asked. Keiji thought for a bit and smiled.

"Let's go," he said, going into the living room and grabbing a car key. They went into the car and he drove all the way to the store. They walked inside and followed him, where he approached the costume section.

"Seriously? What are we doing here?" Kiyomasa asked, laughing.

"Ninja costumes! I saw some the other day," he replied, laughing.

"Cool! I've always wanted to be a ninja!" shouted Yukimura.

"Why are we going to be ninjas?" said Kiyomasa. "We're too old. Hahaha."

"Well, if we want to be sneaky, we've got to be sneaky like a ninja," he told them. They each found themselves a black ninja costume and bought it. After that, Keiji drove them downtown to hang out for a bit before Sakon and Ina went on their date. They went inside a cute bakery shop and bought some cupcake and ice cream. In a bit, they went outside and walked around the gigantic buildings that surrounded them. It would've been more beautiful at night because lights would always shine out of the buildings and make it look alive. They went into many stores and finally got tired of waiting for Sakon and Ina to show up. It was now 6:00 pm, which meant that they were almost at the bowling alley. They went back to Keiji's parent's car and went inside. "Time to put our ninja skills to use!" he shouted.

"Uhh, Keiji? We don't have any ninja skills," Kiyomasa told him, as they laughed.

"Well that's okay. We can just pretend that we do. Hahaha," he laughed. They quickly changed into their ninja outfits that covered their hair and they all noticed that it was so tight on their private area. Keiji looked down at that area on himself and began laughing so hard. His ding dong had popped out so big!

"Ewww! I look soooo freaken gay!" Kiyomasa shouted, laughing. "I am not wearing this out in public." Yukimura looked at himself and smiled.

"Well, I like how it looks on me," he said, happily. Keiji and Kiyomasa looked at him and began laughing so much. Then they looked at each other and laughed even more as Kiyomasa turned his back to Keiji. Keiji saw that not only was the costume tight on their private, but it also sucked in their butt cheeks, which made it pop out really big too. He began laughing and couldn't stop himself. He sat on the driver seat and continued laughing so hard that he accidently pressed on the honk.

"BEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" went his car. A bunch of people around them jumped. All the guys that jumped had their ding dong's jiggled and the girl's boobs jumped up and down really fast as Keiji laughed even more.

"Hahahahaha!" he laughed. Then he looked in the rear mirror and saw Sakon walking with Ina. "Oh look! They're here!"

"Where?" asked Kiyomasa and Yukimura.

"Right there!" he pointed, as Sakon and Ina walked into the bowling alley. "Let's get a move on, soldiers!"

"I thought we were ninjas," said Yukimura.

"We are! Now let's go if we want to spy on them!" he shouted.

"Ew, I'm not wearing this!" said Kiyomasa. "It's hella gay!"

"Yes you are! Me and Yukimura are, so you have to, too!" he replied.

"Hell no!" Kiyomasa shouted. Keiji looked at Yukimura and smiled. He blinked one eye and Yukimura got his message. Yukimura opened the car door. "Wait! Let me put on my clothes first!" Kiyomasa said, trying to close the door. Yukimura quickly pushed him out of the car and when he landed on the ground, he quickly covered his ding dong. Keiji and Yukimura laughed and did hi-fives. Then they both got out of the car. A really pretty girl was walking and turned to Kiyomasa and smiled. He blushed a lot and smiled back handsomely, still covering his ding dong.

"Oh stop being so shy!" Keiji shouted, pulling Kiyomasa's hands away. "Even Yukimura's a proud ninja." They looked at Yukimura and he was doing the catwalk. They began laughing because Yukimura was so funny.

"Ohhhhh, soooo itchy," said Yukimura. He looked like he wanted to scratch his butt. They both looked at him and laughed so hard. Then Kiyomasa looked at Keiji and noticed that he was wearing a pair of brown boots that went up to his knees. It was such an ugly outfit and it so didn't match the ninja costume. He began cracking up even more. They literally laughed at each other for fifteen minutes and finally went to the bowling door. They peeked inside and didn't see Sakon or Ina.

"Come on, let's go in," Keiji whispered, as they snuck inside. They tip-toed carefully and looked around, doing follow the leader starting with Keiji, then Kiyomasa, and then Yukimura. Their hands were posed like a bunny and they bent their backs down like an old person. Then Keiji noticed that the ninja outfit came with a cape so he used his left hand to grab the right side of the cape and covered his nose and mouth, as the other two did the same. The only thing lurking were their eyes.

They continued walking and just when they were about to turn the corner, Keiji bumped into someone. He quickly jumped backwards, covering his whole face with the cape now. His head tilted to the right and he shut his eyes real tight, in hopes that the other two did the same. In five seconds, he slowly opened his eyes and poked his left eye out. He flinched hard as he realized it was Sakon that he had bumped into. He got ready to make a deep accent.

"I am so sorry, sir. I did not see you. Will you ever find it in your heart to forgive me, young man?" he asked, trying not to laugh. Sakon looked confused.

"Uhh, it's alright. It was just an accident and it's not like I saw you either," he replied. "And why are you covering your face with a cape except for one of your eyes?"

"It's traditional, son. You wouldn't understand," Keiji said, almost laughing. From behind, he could tell that Kiyomasa and Yukimura wanted to laugh. Sakon nodded his head and went off as Keiji lurked at him with his left eye. It twitched three times as he covered his eye with his right hand. "Let's move it, lads!"

"I thought we were ninjas," whispered Yukimura.

"We are!" Keiji whispered back. They tip-toed into a room where only employees were allowed in.

"What are you doing? This is employees only! We could get into big trouble," Kiyomasa whispered.

"If someone comes, just act like a statue," Keiji told them. They crept upstairs and continued tip toeing. From downstairs, they glared at Sakon with one eye while covering the rest of their face. They still made a hunchback and their right hand was still posed like a bunny. All their eyes twitched several times.

"Ew, I feel like a freaking stalker!" whispered Kiiyomasa, rubbing his eye.

"You are a stalker! And you better start acting like a professional one before we all get caught," Keiji told him...

"Alright, you ready for this, Ina?" Sakon said to her, smiling. He entered his name and her name onto the machine. "Today I will show you that there's another side of me that you have never seen before."

"Oh stop it. Let's just hurry and play," she said, shaking her head. She got to go first so she picked up an eight pound bowling ball and rolled it. It rolled super fast and sharp and BAM! She got all of it out. She smiled and turned to Sakon. "Beat that." Sakon smiled.

"Alright, alright. You're good," he said, smiling. Then he picked up a thirteen pound ball and rolled it sharply. BAM! He got it all out too. "Hahaha," he laughed. "So we're both good."

"But we're about to find out who's better," she said, picking up her eight pound ball. She rolled it and it rolled all the way to the right so she didn't get any out.

"Come on, you can do it! I believe in you," Sakon said, cheering her on. She rolled her eyes and waited for her ball to come back. Then she rolled it again and got six of them. "Good job!"

"Yeah. Thanks," she said, moving aside. Sakon picked up his ball and rolled it. BAM! He got all of them except for one. He grabbed another ball and rolled it, but he missed the last one.

"Darn it," he said. Then Ina went again...

"Dude, we're being creepy," Kiyomasa told them. "I don't like it. We should've just worn our regular clothes or something cuz this ninja costume makes us look like we commited a crime or something and it feels like we're trying to hide."

"We are trying to hide! That's the whole point why we even came here in the first place. It's not like we're going to go up to Sakon and ruin his date. We came here to spy on him. Spy. S-P-Y," Keiji said, as his eyes twitched. "Remember?"

"I think we should just leave him alone," Kiyomasa suggested.

"But this is so much fun," said Yukimura, smiling. His eyes twitched many times.

"Fun? Dude, do you even realize that your eye is twitching and you look soooo ugly right now?" Kiyomasa told him.

"Ugly? I'm not ugly. I'm handsome!" Yukimura shouted.

"Shhhhhhh!" Keiji told them both. The people that were bowling all looked up to the second floor as Keiji ducked and pulled on both of his friend's privates. They quickly ducked and rolled away from him. They looked at him with disgust.

"Dude, why'd you grab my balls?" Kiyomasa asked. "That's gross and not cool."

"I know, I know. Only your future girlfriend can grab it," Keiji whispered. "But at least I saved our lives. We could've been discovered."

"Discovered?" Kiyomasa said, shaking his head. Keiji waved for his friends to follow him. They crawled sneakily into another perspective to spy on Sakon. As they were crawling, Kiyomasa was behind him and saw his butt stick out really big. Each time he crawled, Kiyomasa would see his ding dong go back and forth. He began snickering and quickly stopped because he felt his own ding dong moving back and forth. From behind him, he heard Yukimura laughing at him.

"Shut up, Yukimura. Yours is moving too," he told him, as he stopped laughing too. As Keiji crawled, he looked so annoying because of his brown boots. In a bit, he stopped crawling. His right leg was up while his left leg remained facing down. He grabbed the right side of his cape with his left hand and covered his face except for his left eye again. Then he slowly stood up and thought of a funny idea. He told his two friends to remain down.

He began waving hi to the people on the first floor. No one saw and he began snickering. Then he let go of the cape and put both his fingers under his eyes and pulled it down. He also stuck out his tongue very ugly and jumped around, looking at Sakon. Sakon quickly turned to Keiji as he quickly ducked down. Sakon thought he saw someone.

"What," Ina asked him when he turned to her.

"Nothing," he replied. "I thought I saw someone but I didn't."

From upstairs, Keiji carefully poked his head out and lurked at Sakon with his left eye again. It twiched four times.

"I'm coming for you, my precious," he whispered, as Sakon quickly turned to him again. He quickly ducked and farted silently. In three seconds, his friends smelled the rotton egg.

"Eww! You farted, Keiji," Yukimura told him, snickering and covering his nose.

"Ugh!" said Kiyomasa, covering his face. Keiji laughed silently and started poking his head out again. His whole face was looking at Sakon and in ten seconds, he hissed like how Kotaro hissed at them back at camp.

"Pthhhhhhh!" he hissed, quickly ducking before anyone saw him.

"Good job, Ina! I knew you could do it," Sakon said, after Ina got all of them out with one ball. He thought he heard someone hiss on the second floor. He quickly turned but there was no one. He thought he was going mad.

"Why do you keep looking over there?" Ina asked, looking around. "Is there someone there?"

"I don't know but I feel like we're being stalked," he told her. "I have a cold feeling."

"Do you want to leave?" she asked.

"If it keeps happening then yeah we can leave," he responded.

From upstairs, the boys laughed silently. Keiji sat down, looking around when he saw a pair of dirty socks. He snickered and put it on his right hand. He slowly poked his hand out and moved his hand for three seconds, making it seem like the sock was talking and quickly put his hand back down.

Sakon took the ball and right when he was going to roll it, he saw something moving upstairs really fast. He quickly turned and accidently rolled the ball so ugly that it went all the way to the left and he didn't get any out. When he looked back upstairs, there was nothing again.

"Did you see something again?" Ina asked as he nodded his head. They looked around for a bit and didn't see anything so they continued playing.

Keiji quickly poked his head out and sat back down really fast and laughed silently with his two friends. Sakon quickly turned because he seriously felt like someone was watching him. It was making him feel uncomfortable.

"Hey Ina, I'll be right back," he said, walking off.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To tell the employees to check if there's someone up there," he replied. He walked to an employee. "Excuse me, but can you guys go check up there to see if someone's there? I have a feeling that I'm being watched and that's not what I came here for."

"Okay," said the employee.

"Watch this," Keiji said to his friends. He opened his eyes really big and made a pig nose while sticking out his tongue. He poked his head up and moved his head left to right three times and realize that Sakon wasn't there. He saw Ina sitting down touching her phone so he turned some more and saw Sakon talking to an employee. He heard him asking an employee to check up where they were at to see if someone was there. He stopped doing that ugly pig face and quickly sat down. "Dude! He told an employee to come up here!"

"Really?" Kiyomasa said, dropping his jaws. "We're going to get in trouble now!"

"I don't want to get in trouble," Yukimura said, scared that they were going to have to take mug shots if they got caught. Keiji poked his head out and saw a police officer walking to the door that said employees only.

"Oh shit! Hurry, crawl and hide!" Keiji told them as they began crawling really fast. Their ding dongs moved super fast and he knew that they weren't getting away without being seen and the police officer was probably going to see them either way. He quickly saw bandanas on the ground and grabbed three of them and gave one to each of his friends. They quickly covered their nose and mouth and tied it behind their head. "Just pose! Hurry!" he said, as they posed.

The police officer approached the second floor and began walking. It was kind of dark so he turned on his flash light. He walked straight and shone his light to where Keiji they were at. He flinched but continued walking because he wasn't sure if they were just humans or statues. As he walked closer, he saw them. Keiji posed balancing on his left leg. His right thigh made a ninety degree angle on his knee and his hands were posed like a bunny only except his right hand surpassed his head and his left hand was close to his chest. He had an angry face and it looked like he was going to do kung fu. Kiyomasa spread his legs and squat down while holding a fist on both of his hands. His right hand was straight out in front of him while his left hand was next to his chest. He looked really angry too. Yukimura posed like he was about to do a break dance move called the helicopter. Both of his hands were touching the ground and like his two friends, he looked very angry.

The officer examined them and thought they were statues. He looked at Kiyomasa and gave him three knuckleheads. They didn't move or laugh at all so he really thought they weren't human. He checked them out and thought that Keiji had a nice butt so he slapped it hard as he almost lost his balance but he didn't. Then the officer bent down and looked at Yukimura.

"My, you are one handsome statue," he said feeling Yukimura's hair. "So fluffy too."

Then he went next to his face and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He turned to Keiji again and shivered after looking at his private. His hands slowly vibrated as it approached Keiji's ding dong. Then he put one finger out and used it to touch his private. Just then Keiji jumped and spread his legs and went over the officer.

"You pedophile!" he shouted, as they began acting like ninjas. Kiyomasa ran and did many front flips. Yukimura quickly somersaulted and jumped and did a cartwheel. Keiji quickly layed down and did the worm towards the stairs.

"Wait! Come back!" shouted the officer. Then Keiji started doing the worm all the way to the officer and held him from behind. Then Yukimura brought a chair and they made him sit on it. Kiyomasa found some rope and they tied the officer up.

"You're sick!" said Kiyomasa and Yukimura. Keiji nodded his head in agreement as they started doing flips. Keiji did many backflips all the way to the stairs and he felt his ding dong jiggle many times. Kiyomasa ran really fast and jumped onto the wall and ran sideways on it for one second and then did a backflip and landed on his foot. Then he continued doing front flips to the stairs. Yukimura jumped and over split his legs and landed back on his feet. Then he sat down and spread his legs and moved his body all the way fowards as his legs did the split. Then he got up and put his right hand on his hip and catwalked all the way to the stairs while swinging his left hand.

"Hurry! I think Sakon and Ina are leaving!" Keiji said to them as they ran downstairs. Their butts jiggled while they ran. When they were really close to people, they dashed super fast and got outside. They saw Sakon and Ina get inside a car. "Into my parent's car! Quick, warriors!" he told them.

"Warriors? I thought we were-" began Yukimura, as they ran to Keiji's parent's car.

"Yes! We are all ninjas!" he replied, unlocking the car as they all got in and closed the door.

"Man! Can we take off this ninja outfit? It's giving me diaper rash," Kiyomasa asked, looking uncomfortable.

"Not until we're done spying on them," Keiji said, starting the engine. When he saw Sakon drive off, he began driving after them but made sure to keep a distance.


End file.
